Fighting the urge to go back into groggy sleep mode and contemplating the best way to tackle today. I could work, edit some videos, run around naked and sing the safety dance over and over again perhaps? I'm in a mental limbo, limba, limberee, limberahahahahaha.
As happy as I am for figuring out well what I need to do to get a foot ahead or at the very least some level foundation, I'm equally saddened by situations of those close to me. I worry and I worry pretty hard. When I see loved ones I may mention missing them in passing and neglect to mention the worry on my shoulders. Not being in a position to do more is a very painful one to be in. I wish I had millions, hell even thousands of dollars... a thousand dollars... to just help. I know that if I cannot help myself I for damn sure cannot help anyone else. I know this b/c for the past few months I've been thinking about everyone else but me, what I need to do. I feel that if I got into this mindset a little sooner perhaps I'd be in a different position now. I guess that does little good now other than to well avoid that sort of thing in the future.
I could blame a lot of outside forces for why I'm not better off than I am but the truth is I've had chances and either let others influence my decisions too much or was too immature to do better things with money in the past. Now at this ripe old crones age :P I guess the desire to go out on a daily basis and be a drunkard has all but run it's course. I guess everyone has their "party" section of their life before being burned out on it and realizing this stuff can wait...
I'm at a place where I'm feeling less regret and apologizing less for who I am and how I function. Unless of course I do something incredibly fucked... I will ya know apologize for that. I don't like hurting those I love but ya get what I mean.
I've accepted the fact that some people will hate you before you've uttered one word to them. With others it takes a bit more time but you're just not meant to mesh well. Some will hate you at first and then come around once they realize their prejudices are horribly wrong. Others will not. Some will shift back and forth like with whatever wind seems to be most popular at the time. Those awesome few if you're lucky to have them will be your foundation, support and salvation in good times and bad... the one's you'll fight drunken men in clubs who like to go into the bathroom when said friends are draining their drainage areas w/out much regard for whether you'll actually end up getting hurt or not b/c you love them and you won't have anyone being a dick head to them on your watch.
I don't wish to be younger. I'm reminded by younger siblings of how painful these ages are... oh god the hormonal crap... the figuring shit out. I'm so glad to be done with that. I'm not saying there's not more growing to be done but I think I've got a great base of operations and it even has a command center that's working fairly well.
So I'm done rambling for now. My heart is in a few different places currently. I hope I have sufficiently expressed that.
I'm looking forward to improvement and doing more positive awesome things in the future!
For now it is time to eat bad frozen foods and perhaps have a long walk to a short bank to deposit short funds and see where things go from there.
XOXO
Britney Siren
streamate, flirt4free, cam girl, model, gogo dancer and all around nerdy nerd nerdette. Adventures and random thoughts there in w/ shiney new pictures too!! (formally on kinklive until further notice)
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
thongs and updates on life
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Tuesday, July 30, 2013
New set on Images4sale
^by Dw Kim
Don't forget to check it out... fullsizes and the likeI'll also be around to chat all week and I'm selling off random items on ebay. (side widget) If you're interested in used items/clothing please check out my extra lunch money profile (also on side widget to your right) or email me directly. I'm also available for custom vids/pics too! If you're a los angeles area photographer and would like to shoot feel free to email me as well at the link above!
See some of you on Streamate later today! The widget on the top will turn all green like when I'm online! Feel free to fave me to get alerts when I'm online!
Thanks so much!
XOXO
Britney Siren
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Sunday, July 28, 2013
A new video for you!
If you'd like to get the full video it and other videos are available on clips4sale and Extra Lunch Money
If you'd like to discuss getting your own personal custom video shoot me an Email
Links are at the end of the video!
I'll write a more formal post when I get the chance. Also don't forget to check out the sidebar for some personal stuff I'm selling on ebay to cover moving expenses and to free up space. Otherwise it'll be all sad and sit in storage not being used or possibly damaged by careless miscreants.
I hope this weekend is treating you all well.
Mucho love!
Britney Siren
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Tuesday, July 23, 2013
What's goin' on... what's goin on
It's been a while since I've sat down and had some time to sort thoughts with you all. Here's what's going on in my little world. I guess in times like these, when things are filled with an air of calm I don't feel as much of a need to sift through thoughts.
Rest assured despite some set backs as life will inevitably always have a few in the way I'm doing pretty good. Working on moving. Recovered from sickness and I'll probably start getting ready to chat with a few of you once I get done clickety-clacking at the keyboard.
Home life has leveled out a bit... not saying things have changed much but my perception has changed. I think to myself I can be stressed about this or move on. Things have certainly been worst. I've been in some pretty sketch living situations and this is NOT one of those. I do feel safe (mostly) and that my things are safe save people using things w/out permission. The infractions are so minor that it isn't quite worth getting peeved about entirely.
I've missed a few shoots due to sickness (sadly). I want to be able to do it all but physically I'm no spring chicken who can run around on all cylinders for very long before my health tells me to sit the fuck down. I need to learn how to rest properly. To help with this I've been allocating computer usage time though all this has done is made me look for work in an uncomfortable way via cell phone lol. Perhaps I should allocate phone usage time as well?
I went out dancing for the first time in a long while. It takes me a while to feel the music at a level where I'm moving freely and feeling nothing but the energy of the moment. I think part of me lives for those times. Modeling and dancing does something wonderful for me mentally and physically... perhaps spiritually? It's one of the few times I feel in tune and connected with a mass quantity of people that I'd otherwise feel very disjointed from.
Speaking of spirituality... I had someone ask about my religious beliefs. This is not a subject I'm comfortable discussing with any old person. I'm not sure what their angle was per say but a series of random questions or actions that I wasn't OK with was met with "I'm not nice, or I'm mean" which left me annoyed and confused. If a person tells me they aren't comfortable with having a certain topic of discussion I drop it... I NEVER want to make someone feel discomfort nor can I force this comfort to the forefront. I wouldn't want to do that anyway. I might not be "nice" but I did quite a bit of tongue biting and word holding b/c of this and other questions. My honesty can be biting and I didn't want to cause offence where there was no need for it either... for this I'm a bit proud as younger me would've went off on many ranty rants... save this I suppose.
If my body tells me to not be comfortable with you on that level (which is a pretty deep level) I listen. There are reasons why and you should listen to what your instincts tell you as well. Perhaps there are motives there that are not obvious to me that I need to shelter myself from. Perhaps you're not trust worthy, and rest assured if you have a penis for the most part we will not get past a certain level of comfort UNLESS we're dating. I'm sure there are valid reasons for that as well.
I'm a sensitive person when it comes to those immediately in my life so I do keep most people out of that area. If you're overly negative or constantly talking about other people in a negative light it also makes me raise eyebrows. Not to say that I assume I'm the topic of discussion when not around nor do I care but that sort of talk does nothing to improve the quality of my existence. Negativity doesn't make me feel better on a grand scale... it needs to be dispersed and released so positive energy can take over but constant focus on what one doesn't have or putting self on pedestal when we are all fucked in some way repels me like two magnets.
I have a shoot this weekend (which hopefully will not be disrupted by some high calamity. I really do want to shoot with this person again) after that I'm going to switch my focus up until I've settled moving and such.
I'm excited that SUMMERSLAM is fucking coming up really soon!! I hope I can go this year and I really want to look into getting tickets to the raw that Monday before it (I think it's going to be in Anaheim though I'm not sure) Wasteland weekend is also coming up and I'm very unsure if I'll be able to go this year. Met some really kind people out there last time so I hope that I will be able to go though the adult in me says to take care of business first... fun time will be there when you're ready.
Lots of comics to be read, some games to be practiced at my leisure and friends to bother at random times with hugs and pallets of bacon.
Life is pretty good... :)
by Jimmy P
Full set is available on Zivity and will soon be available for download via Extra Lunch Money and Images 4 Sale!
XOXO
Britney Siren
Rest assured despite some set backs as life will inevitably always have a few in the way I'm doing pretty good. Working on moving. Recovered from sickness and I'll probably start getting ready to chat with a few of you once I get done clickety-clacking at the keyboard.
Home life has leveled out a bit... not saying things have changed much but my perception has changed. I think to myself I can be stressed about this or move on. Things have certainly been worst. I've been in some pretty sketch living situations and this is NOT one of those. I do feel safe (mostly) and that my things are safe save people using things w/out permission. The infractions are so minor that it isn't quite worth getting peeved about entirely.
I've missed a few shoots due to sickness (sadly). I want to be able to do it all but physically I'm no spring chicken who can run around on all cylinders for very long before my health tells me to sit the fuck down. I need to learn how to rest properly. To help with this I've been allocating computer usage time though all this has done is made me look for work in an uncomfortable way via cell phone lol. Perhaps I should allocate phone usage time as well?
I went out dancing for the first time in a long while. It takes me a while to feel the music at a level where I'm moving freely and feeling nothing but the energy of the moment. I think part of me lives for those times. Modeling and dancing does something wonderful for me mentally and physically... perhaps spiritually? It's one of the few times I feel in tune and connected with a mass quantity of people that I'd otherwise feel very disjointed from.
Speaking of spirituality... I had someone ask about my religious beliefs. This is not a subject I'm comfortable discussing with any old person. I'm not sure what their angle was per say but a series of random questions or actions that I wasn't OK with was met with "I'm not nice, or I'm mean" which left me annoyed and confused. If a person tells me they aren't comfortable with having a certain topic of discussion I drop it... I NEVER want to make someone feel discomfort nor can I force this comfort to the forefront. I wouldn't want to do that anyway. I might not be "nice" but I did quite a bit of tongue biting and word holding b/c of this and other questions. My honesty can be biting and I didn't want to cause offence where there was no need for it either... for this I'm a bit proud as younger me would've went off on many ranty rants... save this I suppose.
If my body tells me to not be comfortable with you on that level (which is a pretty deep level) I listen. There are reasons why and you should listen to what your instincts tell you as well. Perhaps there are motives there that are not obvious to me that I need to shelter myself from. Perhaps you're not trust worthy, and rest assured if you have a penis for the most part we will not get past a certain level of comfort UNLESS we're dating. I'm sure there are valid reasons for that as well.
I'm a sensitive person when it comes to those immediately in my life so I do keep most people out of that area. If you're overly negative or constantly talking about other people in a negative light it also makes me raise eyebrows. Not to say that I assume I'm the topic of discussion when not around nor do I care but that sort of talk does nothing to improve the quality of my existence. Negativity doesn't make me feel better on a grand scale... it needs to be dispersed and released so positive energy can take over but constant focus on what one doesn't have or putting self on pedestal when we are all fucked in some way repels me like two magnets.
I have a shoot this weekend (which hopefully will not be disrupted by some high calamity. I really do want to shoot with this person again) after that I'm going to switch my focus up until I've settled moving and such.
I'm excited that SUMMERSLAM is fucking coming up really soon!! I hope I can go this year and I really want to look into getting tickets to the raw that Monday before it (I think it's going to be in Anaheim though I'm not sure) Wasteland weekend is also coming up and I'm very unsure if I'll be able to go this year. Met some really kind people out there last time so I hope that I will be able to go though the adult in me says to take care of business first... fun time will be there when you're ready.
Lots of comics to be read, some games to be practiced at my leisure and friends to bother at random times with hugs and pallets of bacon.
Life is pretty good... :)
by Jimmy P
Full set is available on Zivity and will soon be available for download via Extra Lunch Money and Images 4 Sale!
XOXO
Britney Siren
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Sunday, July 7, 2013
Time gets shorter...
... days seem to never have enough hours (or far too many depending on how said day is going) It's been a bit of time since I've made a real post so I thought I'd whip something up before I start my workout stuff and dissipation into the online void.
Nothing much has changed on the home front. While the future holds certain inevitabilities and uncertainties I'm excited to march forward in it's cataclysm of random and not so random events. It can be difficult to focus and make oneself work when under extreme emotional direst... Most of the time I'm pretty happy and focused on what I need to do and then there are those days that I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed or do much. I won't pretend that life is perfect, that I don't need mending... if it were or I were I wouldn't be human. I think realizing these flaws and even the attempt at making life better or at being a better person can do so much good. Though perfection can never be achieved per say I don't think the effort is a waste of time.
In the past I've wasted a lot of time focusing on what I don't have, what I cannot become and those who would laugh at my being hit by a semi-truck and dying on the side of the road. Focusing on those who bring positive energy can make one forget about those things that are lacking or make you better prepared to tackle those things.
For those who dislike me (as I'm sure you're following me more than those who adore me, dislike, hatred isn't too far from love... very potent stuff) I ask... why? How long? What good does this serve? What good does it serve to hate or keep feeding into a cancer? I don't give thought to anyone who isn't directly in my life until I physically see them or they're mentioned by another party and once that moment has passed so goes the thought.
I don't think anyone is "better" than another. That some are "good" fighting some ultimate "evil" force and we must pick sides to vanquish the ratchets of the world. I believe that people have falling outs for various reasons, usually not one sided at all and that time can deaden the blow of these wounds... b/c if there is any real anger then there is definitely some sort of scar tissue left behind. Sometimes people simply don't mesh well and would be better off only communicating on a casual level... some not at all. Often there are communication issues, projection of personal insecurities and the like that poisons relationships.
I'm guilty of being on both ends of the spectrum and I admit it's still difficult to pinpoint things as they happen. That some people may never get over their issue or talk to you about it to come to a happy medium. I'm OK with that.
I feel like things come and go as they need to. Cherish those who are awesome for the time allotted. Ya never know how much time you have. Life is short and tempers are too. Never be so open to attack but so closed that you're Rapunzel either... right?
If you're still reading this you either hate me very feverishly (which I'm quite flattered by your fiery passion but that energy could be better spent plotting revenge or planning a raid in WOW or something) or you have a great deal of love and warm and fuzzy happy feelings toward me (which I also appreciate and welcome with warm rainbow colored hugs and junk)
"You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you" well if you think it is then it probably was if you're the one person I was thinking about which you in most cases you aren't. TROLOLOLOLOLOLAAA
I suppose this ends my rambling of random thoughts for today.
If you're here for potential shooting possibilities... I haven't set much up for the month since I was afraid of the jury duty monster soooooooooooooo if you'd like to shoot feel free to send me a good ol' fashioned Email. If you're interested in custom products of a sexy nature do click on the side bar for Extra Lunch Money! For Prints Click the Ebay Sidebar widget of FUN!!
I hope that you've all had happy firework time and great anime expo times as well!
^--- by snab photography
XOXO
Britney Siren
PS: If you have been trying to book me for out of town adventures... forgive my phone phobia... Yes I get anxiety over talking to new folks over the phone. I'm working on it I promises!!
Nothing much has changed on the home front. While the future holds certain inevitabilities and uncertainties I'm excited to march forward in it's cataclysm of random and not so random events. It can be difficult to focus and make oneself work when under extreme emotional direst... Most of the time I'm pretty happy and focused on what I need to do and then there are those days that I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed or do much. I won't pretend that life is perfect, that I don't need mending... if it were or I were I wouldn't be human. I think realizing these flaws and even the attempt at making life better or at being a better person can do so much good. Though perfection can never be achieved per say I don't think the effort is a waste of time.
In the past I've wasted a lot of time focusing on what I don't have, what I cannot become and those who would laugh at my being hit by a semi-truck and dying on the side of the road. Focusing on those who bring positive energy can make one forget about those things that are lacking or make you better prepared to tackle those things.
For those who dislike me (as I'm sure you're following me more than those who adore me, dislike, hatred isn't too far from love... very potent stuff) I ask... why? How long? What good does this serve? What good does it serve to hate or keep feeding into a cancer? I don't give thought to anyone who isn't directly in my life until I physically see them or they're mentioned by another party and once that moment has passed so goes the thought.
I don't think anyone is "better" than another. That some are "good" fighting some ultimate "evil" force and we must pick sides to vanquish the ratchets of the world. I believe that people have falling outs for various reasons, usually not one sided at all and that time can deaden the blow of these wounds... b/c if there is any real anger then there is definitely some sort of scar tissue left behind. Sometimes people simply don't mesh well and would be better off only communicating on a casual level... some not at all. Often there are communication issues, projection of personal insecurities and the like that poisons relationships.
I'm guilty of being on both ends of the spectrum and I admit it's still difficult to pinpoint things as they happen. That some people may never get over their issue or talk to you about it to come to a happy medium. I'm OK with that.
I feel like things come and go as they need to. Cherish those who are awesome for the time allotted. Ya never know how much time you have. Life is short and tempers are too. Never be so open to attack but so closed that you're Rapunzel either... right?
If you're still reading this you either hate me very feverishly (which I'm quite flattered by your fiery passion but that energy could be better spent plotting revenge or planning a raid in WOW or something) or you have a great deal of love and warm and fuzzy happy feelings toward me (which I also appreciate and welcome with warm rainbow colored hugs and junk)
"You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you" well if you think it is then it probably was if you're the one person I was thinking about which you in most cases you aren't. TROLOLOLOLOLOLAAA
I suppose this ends my rambling of random thoughts for today.
If you're here for potential shooting possibilities... I haven't set much up for the month since I was afraid of the jury duty monster soooooooooooooo if you'd like to shoot feel free to send me a good ol' fashioned Email. If you're interested in custom products of a sexy nature do click on the side bar for Extra Lunch Money! For Prints Click the Ebay Sidebar widget of FUN!!
I hope that you've all had happy firework time and great anime expo times as well!
^--- by snab photography
XOXO
Britney Siren
PS: If you have been trying to book me for out of town adventures... forgive my phone phobia... Yes I get anxiety over talking to new folks over the phone. I'm working on it I promises!!
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Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Quick update!
Just wanted to give a heads up! My ghoul girls set has gone live... so if you like Cosplay, Costume and awesome then go ahead and check it out... (ya know by clicking that link up there)
I'll have a full on entry at some point when I get some more free time to be random and emotional :P
I'll have a full on entry at some point when I get some more free time to be random and emotional :P
XOXO
Britney Siren
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Yada ma splada, pradazada yada
ENJOY!!!
XOXO
Britney Siren
Friday, June 14, 2013
It's been a while
Schedule Update!
*my camming dates may fall when I'm free, If you'd like live updates do follow me on twitter or fave me on Streamate*
June
16th Hlwdwinkola Shoot
19th Leonard Thompson Shoot
20th Shattered Vortex Shoot
22nd Steam Circus Meet-Up Group Shoot w/ Alt-Error LA
25th Jimmy King Shoot
29th Shooting Range Meet-Up
30th Movie night
July
1st- 7th (Jury Duty Week *sigh*)
4th-7th Anime Expo 2013
10th Due West Shoot
27th *tentative Comic book shoot
**warning rambling half hungry rant alert...**
A few plans have melded together and others not so much. Sometimes I wonder will all this working itself out (which means endlessly working myself into exhaustion) will end up working itself out.
Let's see what have I experienced since we last had a large cluster fuck of words smashing violently at your face? Oh yes I remember yesterday I got some message saying "if you believe that the only people who deserve your conversation must pay for it then we shouldn't be talking". Other such messages by the great Fetlife Baron are "zomfg you took how many months to answer my message" Mind you there are messages that are buried so deep that they've probably been there over a year that I'll probably never get to but if it's not answered that day people bitch at me about it or not being on the site that much bla bla blobbity bla
Here's some honesty for your eye socket... If we aint fucking... I owe you nothing. Don't worry the opposite is true, you owe me absolutely nothing. I don't demand that anyone come to my shows but if you're into that sort of thing then do come talk to me cause I want to have fun and not starve to death or be a homeless person (though how this battle will actually fair has much left to be desired at this point since but I'll save that discussion for a later time).
I never said in order to talk to me you MUST pay but if you want me on your time then you do have to pay. This is not to mention the countless folks that I talk to simply because I enjoy talking to them... am I going to indulge in their weird fart fetish that I have zero interest in when I'm sitting here taking the bus and eating ramen noodles? No I most certainly am not... you're gonna have to pay for that. I'm not even going to lie to you and tell you that I give a shit about fart fetishes (haha give a shit)
I believe I'm pretty straight forward to those who ask. It clearly says on my Fetlife profile and others something to the tune of "here to find work and I don't mind penpals" which is pretty much the truth. Have I met folks from the site... sure have. Am I actively looking to meet random ppl who might be killers and would serve to complicate this weird little introverts life? Fuck no!
There are other less sexually driven avenues that I'd rather explore first on the off chance that I might meet ppl who aren't trying to demand things from me and will treat me like a human being.
In my work it's me and yet it isn't... it's me on steroids and pixie sticks with non of the baggage. It takes a lot of work to not mention what I'm dealing with in my personal life. To have folks come at me with such rudeness when I'm taking out the little time that I have trying to find wifi spots b/c things are sketch at home in general... is not something I need.
So... all I ask is if you don't like dont' talk to me, if you do then please be polite and respectful and I shall do the same.
I've had some very irritating family issues in the recent past pop up... I don't let them interfere with my work but realize that YOU are not the apex of the universe. I've been doing things this way for a few years now. If you REALLY wanted to get to know me, you wouldn't make stupid jokes about not getting back to you quick enough and when I explain that I'm busy get offended when OTHER PPL HAVE SAID THE SAME THING AND I CAN'T MEASURE YOU ASSHOLE SARCASM FROM A FUCKING MESSAGE!
I'm a human, I have feelings, I have a life, I have problems like anyone else...
Another random note that is a BIG problem. I get that Fetlife is a fetish site but what I don't get is why people put other folks photos on their profile when you're social networking and why someone would come to me asking about friendship and getting to know me on a personal level with a picture of your asshole, dick, cumming on someones face or some other shit that I honestly don't want to see. This is not to say that these things in and of themselves are offensive to me... they are not but someones attractiveness and even if they are sexy as the Original Uhura I don't think an Asshole should ever be the first impression that you leave to someone... have a pic of your face so that you're seen as a human being and not an asshole.
I dig the site for a few folks on there that I've be-friended who have always been kind to me even before I started using it to look for work and have been patient up until now. It's the self entitled pricks who feel like I should do tons of things for free for them w/out any consideration for what the fuck my profile actually says and that maybe, just maybe I have a life and issues to deal with that are personal and beyond their knowledge and that to do so for free with me not getting anything out of the exchange... NO THAT'S NOT ALWAYS MONEY, but you can't be boring, have grammar that would put a pre-schooler to shame, nothing remotely interesting about you and have me jump for joy when your conversation does absolutely nothing for me...
I'm sure I will lose some followers etc over this... or maybe I won't but I can't do anything but be myself. My main reason for being on the Internet at all is work first. I do very little socializing here, in fact my Real Name is all but nonexistent on the Internet. That should say something.
You get back what you put in... I owe you nothing, You owe me nothing... connection happens naturally. If you're unhappy with what you get from me then don't interact with me or discuss the problem, Can't come to a compromise? Part ways...
^---by Henry Neves
*my camming dates may fall when I'm free, If you'd like live updates do follow me on twitter or fave me on Streamate*
June
16th Hlwdwinkola Shoot
19th Leonard Thompson Shoot
20th Shattered Vortex Shoot
22nd Steam Circus Meet-Up Group Shoot w/ Alt-Error LA
25th Jimmy King Shoot
29th Shooting Range Meet-Up
30th Movie night
July
1st- 7th (Jury Duty Week *sigh*)
4th-7th Anime Expo 2013
10th Due West Shoot
27th *tentative Comic book shoot
**warning rambling half hungry rant alert...**
A few plans have melded together and others not so much. Sometimes I wonder will all this working itself out (which means endlessly working myself into exhaustion) will end up working itself out.
Let's see what have I experienced since we last had a large cluster fuck of words smashing violently at your face? Oh yes I remember yesterday I got some message saying "if you believe that the only people who deserve your conversation must pay for it then we shouldn't be talking". Other such messages by the great Fetlife Baron are "zomfg you took how many months to answer my message" Mind you there are messages that are buried so deep that they've probably been there over a year that I'll probably never get to but if it's not answered that day people bitch at me about it or not being on the site that much bla bla blobbity bla
Here's some honesty for your eye socket... If we aint fucking... I owe you nothing. Don't worry the opposite is true, you owe me absolutely nothing. I don't demand that anyone come to my shows but if you're into that sort of thing then do come talk to me cause I want to have fun and not starve to death or be a homeless person (though how this battle will actually fair has much left to be desired at this point since but I'll save that discussion for a later time).
I never said in order to talk to me you MUST pay but if you want me on your time then you do have to pay. This is not to mention the countless folks that I talk to simply because I enjoy talking to them... am I going to indulge in their weird fart fetish that I have zero interest in when I'm sitting here taking the bus and eating ramen noodles? No I most certainly am not... you're gonna have to pay for that. I'm not even going to lie to you and tell you that I give a shit about fart fetishes (haha give a shit)
I believe I'm pretty straight forward to those who ask. It clearly says on my Fetlife profile and others something to the tune of "here to find work and I don't mind penpals" which is pretty much the truth. Have I met folks from the site... sure have. Am I actively looking to meet random ppl who might be killers and would serve to complicate this weird little introverts life? Fuck no!
There are other less sexually driven avenues that I'd rather explore first on the off chance that I might meet ppl who aren't trying to demand things from me and will treat me like a human being.
In my work it's me and yet it isn't... it's me on steroids and pixie sticks with non of the baggage. It takes a lot of work to not mention what I'm dealing with in my personal life. To have folks come at me with such rudeness when I'm taking out the little time that I have trying to find wifi spots b/c things are sketch at home in general... is not something I need.
So... all I ask is if you don't like dont' talk to me, if you do then please be polite and respectful and I shall do the same.
I've had some very irritating family issues in the recent past pop up... I don't let them interfere with my work but realize that YOU are not the apex of the universe. I've been doing things this way for a few years now. If you REALLY wanted to get to know me, you wouldn't make stupid jokes about not getting back to you quick enough and when I explain that I'm busy get offended when OTHER PPL HAVE SAID THE SAME THING AND I CAN'T MEASURE YOU ASSHOLE SARCASM FROM A FUCKING MESSAGE!
I'm a human, I have feelings, I have a life, I have problems like anyone else...
Another random note that is a BIG problem. I get that Fetlife is a fetish site but what I don't get is why people put other folks photos on their profile when you're social networking and why someone would come to me asking about friendship and getting to know me on a personal level with a picture of your asshole, dick, cumming on someones face or some other shit that I honestly don't want to see. This is not to say that these things in and of themselves are offensive to me... they are not but someones attractiveness and even if they are sexy as the Original Uhura I don't think an Asshole should ever be the first impression that you leave to someone... have a pic of your face so that you're seen as a human being and not an asshole.
I dig the site for a few folks on there that I've be-friended who have always been kind to me even before I started using it to look for work and have been patient up until now. It's the self entitled pricks who feel like I should do tons of things for free for them w/out any consideration for what the fuck my profile actually says and that maybe, just maybe I have a life and issues to deal with that are personal and beyond their knowledge and that to do so for free with me not getting anything out of the exchange... NO THAT'S NOT ALWAYS MONEY, but you can't be boring, have grammar that would put a pre-schooler to shame, nothing remotely interesting about you and have me jump for joy when your conversation does absolutely nothing for me...
I'm sure I will lose some followers etc over this... or maybe I won't but I can't do anything but be myself. My main reason for being on the Internet at all is work first. I do very little socializing here, in fact my Real Name is all but nonexistent on the Internet. That should say something.
You get back what you put in... I owe you nothing, You owe me nothing... connection happens naturally. If you're unhappy with what you get from me then don't interact with me or discuss the problem, Can't come to a compromise? Part ways...
^---by Henry Neves
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Some things worth mentioning
I think a good place to start is a schedule update! At least it'll be up-to-date here :D
May
25th Alberto Bevacqua Shoot
27th Onesohi Zivity shoot
29th Jimmy P Shoot
30th Streamate 4pm - 8pm pacific time
**June**
1st (tentative) Live Draw Event??
8th (Tentative Shoot)
As you can see June is pretty open so if you're in the Los Angeles Area and would like to book a shoot feel free to email me here Especially if you have a zivity account/shoot video, trade is available for zivity/video that I can use for Extra Lunch Money!
If you're interested in voting as a fan or video/custom requests also feel free to click those respective links
Up to date updates are always available via TWITTER
*************************************************
So other than that what's been going on? I had a bit of a scare in the family but other than that things are going relatively well. I felt very appreciated in chat this past thursday. I'm so glad that folks still wanted to talk despite my less than premium cam quality. I do hope to improve this very soon. Just have to keep saving up for that apartment of my very own!! There's a big maybe on hoping on streamate monday! Keep your eyes peeled to twitter to see if that happens!!!
Also new signed prints available for this week on Ebay! So bid to get yours! Discounts on shipping for multiple photos are also available! I want to get some old clothing on there but I'm going to wait until I have a place again, currently my things are scattered across storage and random folks houses so it might be a little difficult to find out where it all is (poop on me)
Things with friends have been at an all time high... thank you all for the support during my crisis. I'm not going to go into anymore detail than that. Just thank you so much!
Debating whether I should upload all these random youtube videos I recorded or whether my views have changed so much that they're irrelevant... Probably should just let them rot on my hard drive or delete some of them :)
OH Um for those who are interested in texting fun you can do so here at this nifty little link! Ensuring that I answer you with the up most speed and awesomeness :D
I guess that's about it! OH finished Tomb Raider last week and I've been getting slightly better at Insect Princess (cave shooter). Hoping to have a wee bit of gaming time over the weekend inbetween shooting and this weeks movie night... or I could curl up into a ball of tired and get some rest for a change :P
What are you guys thinking about the Xbox ONE?!! Personally I think it's a bit too early to tell. I normally wait a good year or two before I decide which direction to go with console wise. After all systems have been out, showed what games they'll have, how strong their community will be...what features will stand the test of time and which will fall to the way side. I'm excited to see what direction things will go in. I may forgo all of this and just save up for the Vectrex that I've always wanted... or get my sega genesis back or other retro systems. I miss blowing into those cartridges and the endless wires that come with them...
Though in the grande scheme of apartment hunting and still learning to drive my bucket of a car this is all pretty low priority I suppose.
XOXO
Britney Siren
If you haven't checked out this full set you can do so here at the link! Vote if you like it to support set making! Incentives are available for voting!!
If you like any of the other sets you can vote there too!!
tata4now
May
25th Alberto Bevacqua Shoot
27th Onesohi Zivity shoot
29th Jimmy P Shoot
30th Streamate 4pm - 8pm pacific time
**June**
1st (tentative) Live Draw Event??
8th (Tentative Shoot)
As you can see June is pretty open so if you're in the Los Angeles Area and would like to book a shoot feel free to email me here Especially if you have a zivity account/shoot video, trade is available for zivity/video that I can use for Extra Lunch Money!
If you're interested in voting as a fan or video/custom requests also feel free to click those respective links
Up to date updates are always available via TWITTER
*************************************************
So other than that what's been going on? I had a bit of a scare in the family but other than that things are going relatively well. I felt very appreciated in chat this past thursday. I'm so glad that folks still wanted to talk despite my less than premium cam quality. I do hope to improve this very soon. Just have to keep saving up for that apartment of my very own!! There's a big maybe on hoping on streamate monday! Keep your eyes peeled to twitter to see if that happens!!!
Also new signed prints available for this week on Ebay! So bid to get yours! Discounts on shipping for multiple photos are also available! I want to get some old clothing on there but I'm going to wait until I have a place again, currently my things are scattered across storage and random folks houses so it might be a little difficult to find out where it all is (poop on me)
Things with friends have been at an all time high... thank you all for the support during my crisis. I'm not going to go into anymore detail than that. Just thank you so much!
Debating whether I should upload all these random youtube videos I recorded or whether my views have changed so much that they're irrelevant... Probably should just let them rot on my hard drive or delete some of them :)
OH Um for those who are interested in texting fun you can do so here at this nifty little link! Ensuring that I answer you with the up most speed and awesomeness :D
I guess that's about it! OH finished Tomb Raider last week and I've been getting slightly better at Insect Princess (cave shooter). Hoping to have a wee bit of gaming time over the weekend inbetween shooting and this weeks movie night... or I could curl up into a ball of tired and get some rest for a change :P
What are you guys thinking about the Xbox ONE?!! Personally I think it's a bit too early to tell. I normally wait a good year or two before I decide which direction to go with console wise. After all systems have been out, showed what games they'll have, how strong their community will be...what features will stand the test of time and which will fall to the way side. I'm excited to see what direction things will go in. I may forgo all of this and just save up for the Vectrex that I've always wanted... or get my sega genesis back or other retro systems. I miss blowing into those cartridges and the endless wires that come with them...
Though in the grande scheme of apartment hunting and still learning to drive my bucket of a car this is all pretty low priority I suppose.
XOXO
Britney Siren
If you haven't checked out this full set you can do so here at the link! Vote if you like it to support set making! Incentives are available for voting!!
If you like any of the other sets you can vote there too!!
tata4now
Monday, May 13, 2013
I've played 14 hrs of gaming this past week, hooray for me...and stuff
Wanted to give a little schedule update... it's been a while since I've done that (sorry I've been a bit all over the place lately)
May
15th cinephotographer shoot (zivity)
16th streamate (4:30 - 8pm) tentative s/n britneysiren
17th kinklive (12pm - 3pm)
20th super wink shoot (zivity)
21st xposure 101 (zivity)
24th kinklive (noon - 3pm)
31st kinklive (noon - 3pm)
If you'd like to book me please feel free to email me here
I also have a few new prints up on Ebay so check those out if you like
New sets coming soon to Zivity as well! Vote on any set that you like to support shooting
Other than that... my birthday was last week. I must say that it's been the most time I've had to myself in a long while. I expect this week to be a bit more busy but more shooting than I'm used to. Something has to go in a different direction than it has gone in the past... I guess the whole studio situation has pushed me to get back into shooting like I should've been doing eons ago :)
I'll also be giving streamate le old test run. I found a place to work from though I'm guessing I won't have all the fancy gadgets and doodads from before considering I still haven't learned to drive my car and can't tote giant weiners and such on the bus on a daily basis. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up a couple more incognito one's and some oils and can share some lovely conversation and good cheer with you all.
I'm not leaving kink either but I have significantly reduced my time there as it's been a slow start and I can't justify spending so much time traveling and not making up enough to cover my food and busfare for that day let alone a full week... perhaps I don't have enough fetishy attire or something beyond my understanding but I'll still be there once a week.
As it stands now one day at kink and depending on how many shoots I have during the week a day for streamate?
I haven't worked out the kinks just yet (ho ho ho the kinks, I'm a regular insert some funny person's name whose actually funny.) but I'll figure it all out.
I'd like to give another big thanks for all the birthday gifts and well wishes that have come from all of you kind people. I really appreciate it... srsly *hugs*
I guess that's all I can muster for now... enjoy a random picture for your viewing pleasure
by peter heid
xoxo
britney siren
Saturday, April 27, 2013
If you close your eyes you can listen for turbulence
So what's been going on lately? I've returned back to kinklive.com to do cam shows (In case you hadn't noticed that just yet). It's been well, different. I guess I have to expect some adjustment time. Different site, different features (or lack of other features) etc. While I did run into a couple of familiar s/n's most of the folks I was used to talking to have disappeared which can be expected. I'm not going to sugar coat it... income drop between this site and using streamate has been very noticeable. This was a huge worry in returning to this site and a major factor in why I stopped working here in the first place. I know there are a few obvious reasons for this. New to the site again means working from the very bottom. No shoots on kinks other sites so there's a pretty huge chance that no one knows who the hell I am. Some lack of key features found on virtually every site on the web. (cam2cam, phone, 1on1 chat, voyeur models ability to fully block any troll at will not just kick them for the day, I mean really it would be nice to not be called nigger by the same asshole a week after their "ban" every few weeks :/) Some connectivity issues, not sure if it's the site or the members but a good deal of my privates have resulted in... well awkward disconnects which wasn't even an issue even when working from home on a dsl connection. The traffic on the site is well slow and it's PAINFUL trying to start a normal conversation with anyone there and being called a slut upon room entering is kinda insulting. Granted it says "this bla bla bla slut multiple orgasms" and most tweets mentioning models is followed by slut or whore etc. No I didn't write that and I don't believe I have the power to change the text either.
I don't know if this particular site fits my particular style of camming in general. While I am into kinky things... I do like to keep free chat as a cool hang out where people can get to know me and keep the sexual talk to a virtual minimum. I feel like that should be saved for private. Many expect for me to do hardcore shit in the free chat. While I'm not sure if this is allowed in free chat (most likely it is) it's not something I'm big on doing. Folks who aren't paying shouldn't be seeing such things. Plus the fact that the cam giving a peek at the shows a little bit too often IMO but meh...
I do recall asking someone for advice on how to improve shows and such and they simply mentioned things I had already been doing. I don't know that this is a site that I can get the same or nearly same stable pay that I was receiving at the other. I'm a bit worried but I'm not letting that stifle me into inaction. It seems that this should be a time to focus a bit more on doing photo shoots again. I've missed doing them and it has certainly been a long while since I've done one (about a month ago, a pretty huge gap for me).
I've noticed that I will often not take risks because things are not optimal. Things will never be optimal and if I don't try then it's almost certain that failure will be eminent.
While I wouldn't necessarily leave the site once I got my home set up back; I don't think this kind of site can support me doing this full time as I have been doing for the past few years.
I guess I'll try different times, different things and see what catches...
Also not allowed to wear any logos etc... so that knocks out a good percentage of my wardrobe which creates another issue and another venue for conversation building (kinda easier to build a conversation around gaming if I can actually show my game collection/xbox to people... guess I can always bring my headset and imagine... or wearing a nerdy game shirt might lead one to come check me out and talk about it)
Is it time to consider other avenues of employment? Well considering this past week I've heard of far too many folks having mundane job troubles more than ever I'm doubtful that would make a difference though technically I do have a "day job" even if it does happen to be once every 3-5 months :/
I feel like I've gone through this before...
Many have asked "what happened with your old studio" etc. "we thought you were doing well" I thought the same thing and to be perfectly honest I couldn't tell you what happened. To my knowledge I was on a constant improvement rate (at least before new management took over). At that time I fell ill and was told I had too many "unexcused absences" I don't quite compute this since I was picked up from the doctor by one of the owners or the owner/ and told I was doing so well and that we needed "ten Britney's". The week prior I was given my own dressing room.
I told myself that I would hold off on going into detail about all this but honestly there's very little reason for me to not speak my mind. I've held it in for a while and I think it's very unfair how I was let go especially w/out any sort of warning about "missing more time" or not even being offered the opportunity to bring a doctors note. Granted that would've been another expensive trip to the doctor for a nasty head cold but if it would've helped me keep my job I would've done it begrudgingly.
I witnessed a plethora of things that made me physically uncomfortable. Just because I'm a cam model doesn't mean that I want to deal with girls camming with their doors open or girls actively drinking on the job. I was constantly told by their "manager" of the most self indulgent bullshit that I could hardly give two shits about after the 50 billionth time of hearing how you're so good at sex and how you are far too good at your job and that's why you do not have long private shows. The last time I checked, a water salesmen who can't sell water isn't a very good salesmen. If the Internet is down, I've been visibly sick for the past week and coughing up things that morning and all you can say to me is "wanna watch me dance on the pole" not even asking hey how are you? are you ok? and then going to sleep... then of course that's not going to sit right with me.
"be an adult and come to me if you have a problem" well that would be easy if I felt you weren't a variable psychopath, didn't have a certain hold over my boss or if I hadn't actively heard you say negative and albeit threaten violence against people on a day to day basis. Perhaps then I would love to talk to you and feel comfortable. Perhaps if you showed the slightest hint at human compassion I would be glad to talk to tell you that I don't care about what "drama" you had with people who aren't here... that I'm here to work. Oh wait I did say that and yet you constantly poked and prodded ineffectively.
Why would I want to engage in conversation with someone who if I compliment something on them they react defensively? "oh that's a pretty cute hat" "don't hate on my hat" *confusion* or I make a nerdy joke or play on words which goes over your head.
The fact is we had nothing in common but I was never a "bitch" to you no matter how much you may deserve to be treated in kind. Granted being fired is probably great as the oddities going on there were getting a bit too awkward for me anyway...
You are indeed creepier than the men working there before and made me feel uncomfortable by being you. Not by anything that happened between anyone else or something someone said. YOU DID THAT! People don't think you're nice b/c you ARE NOT NICE! I tend to not want sexual advances from women I'm not even remotely attracted to. I'm not sure if that was you trying to be playful or what reason there was for that but I can say with full confidence that I never gave any hint of attraction toward you because there is nothing there that I find attractive... I tend to be more into subtle flirts and those who can wow me with their mental prowess... not incomprehensible slurred words
In all honesty I couldn't tell whether you were ever sober in any of my interactions with you... if slurring has become part of your normal speech or if you're constantly on some sort of upper or downer or everything in between.
It literally took me 3 tries to half way understand your voice message to me about work. I thought some drunkard had dialed a wrong number to me.
Maybe I answered this earlier but why aren't people adults and don't come to your face with problems. Here's why....
*Being an adult we all have problems and lives and taking time out to talk to someone face to face would only be done for those who one actively wants in their life or has some ounce of care for
*Time constraints
*you being a violent person, not equipped with the tools for debate, self reflection or empathy
*One didn't have a problem with you and YOU are projecting your own insecurities onto others and creating problems where THERE WERE NONE!
*They don't understand what you're saying anyway so what's the point of trying to talk to you?
Perhaps in the future if you suspect someone has a PERSONAL issue with you... be an adult and take the initiative to find out the truth in a non aggressive fashion and you will build more mature, strong and healthy relationships.
If you think this is about you then yes it probably is. If you'd like to talk it out perhaps you can write a message to me about it cause all joking aside I really don't understand you when you talk. Maybe if I find the time or care to talk to you face to face we can bring a little chalk board?
Anyway I'm done... I apologize for not waiting the 6th months I promised to post this... I am utterly jealous that I never did anything with my life, good luck with your empire. (that was sarcasm, I know you don't grasp the concept of such things that aren't being thrown down your throat but try to think that one over)
ps: "hating" you are far too old to be using such terminology... upgrade your grammar
I really haven't disliked someone in a long time and had 0 reason to here until you created this. I'd say some sarcastic I wish you luck bullshit but I honestly don't. I'm just happy to not have you in my life anymore. For this I'm eternally grateful
Pretty sure you don't remember this but this was the FIRST time I met you. I thought you were a bit out there but entertaining nether the less... I really dunno where your issue came from. And if it was ever me not being in a "good mood" in the morning I happen to have a lot going on, all it would've taken to clear that up was asking. The ONLY time I didn't address you was AFTER you fired me in such a cunty way. Why would I acknowledge your presence then? It's not about that you HAD to fire me, that's fine but a little compassion for where I'm coming from (weirdo trying to get a little car and go back to school and travels 6 fucking hours a day to work at your damn studio even though I'm sick takes a couple days off. No my bad, hope life treats you well, maybe we can work this out... NOTHING!) My issue with you is that you are a self indulgent ice queen who couldn't give a rats ass about anyone else who isn't a comfy couch or up your ass...
Real fuckin' talk (all questions are rhetorical... I don't care/need a response from you. I do hope you know what that word means.)
Britney Siren
I don't know if this particular site fits my particular style of camming in general. While I am into kinky things... I do like to keep free chat as a cool hang out where people can get to know me and keep the sexual talk to a virtual minimum. I feel like that should be saved for private. Many expect for me to do hardcore shit in the free chat. While I'm not sure if this is allowed in free chat (most likely it is) it's not something I'm big on doing. Folks who aren't paying shouldn't be seeing such things. Plus the fact that the cam giving a peek at the shows a little bit too often IMO but meh...
I do recall asking someone for advice on how to improve shows and such and they simply mentioned things I had already been doing. I don't know that this is a site that I can get the same or nearly same stable pay that I was receiving at the other. I'm a bit worried but I'm not letting that stifle me into inaction. It seems that this should be a time to focus a bit more on doing photo shoots again. I've missed doing them and it has certainly been a long while since I've done one (about a month ago, a pretty huge gap for me).
I've noticed that I will often not take risks because things are not optimal. Things will never be optimal and if I don't try then it's almost certain that failure will be eminent.
While I wouldn't necessarily leave the site once I got my home set up back; I don't think this kind of site can support me doing this full time as I have been doing for the past few years.
I guess I'll try different times, different things and see what catches...
Also not allowed to wear any logos etc... so that knocks out a good percentage of my wardrobe which creates another issue and another venue for conversation building (kinda easier to build a conversation around gaming if I can actually show my game collection/xbox to people... guess I can always bring my headset and imagine... or wearing a nerdy game shirt might lead one to come check me out and talk about it)
Is it time to consider other avenues of employment? Well considering this past week I've heard of far too many folks having mundane job troubles more than ever I'm doubtful that would make a difference though technically I do have a "day job" even if it does happen to be once every 3-5 months :/
I feel like I've gone through this before...
Many have asked "what happened with your old studio" etc. "we thought you were doing well" I thought the same thing and to be perfectly honest I couldn't tell you what happened. To my knowledge I was on a constant improvement rate (at least before new management took over). At that time I fell ill and was told I had too many "unexcused absences" I don't quite compute this since I was picked up from the doctor by one of the owners or the owner/ and told I was doing so well and that we needed "ten Britney's". The week prior I was given my own dressing room.
I told myself that I would hold off on going into detail about all this but honestly there's very little reason for me to not speak my mind. I've held it in for a while and I think it's very unfair how I was let go especially w/out any sort of warning about "missing more time" or not even being offered the opportunity to bring a doctors note. Granted that would've been another expensive trip to the doctor for a nasty head cold but if it would've helped me keep my job I would've done it begrudgingly.
I witnessed a plethora of things that made me physically uncomfortable. Just because I'm a cam model doesn't mean that I want to deal with girls camming with their doors open or girls actively drinking on the job. I was constantly told by their "manager" of the most self indulgent bullshit that I could hardly give two shits about after the 50 billionth time of hearing how you're so good at sex and how you are far too good at your job and that's why you do not have long private shows. The last time I checked, a water salesmen who can't sell water isn't a very good salesmen. If the Internet is down, I've been visibly sick for the past week and coughing up things that morning and all you can say to me is "wanna watch me dance on the pole" not even asking hey how are you? are you ok? and then going to sleep... then of course that's not going to sit right with me.
"be an adult and come to me if you have a problem" well that would be easy if I felt you weren't a variable psychopath, didn't have a certain hold over my boss or if I hadn't actively heard you say negative and albeit threaten violence against people on a day to day basis. Perhaps then I would love to talk to you and feel comfortable. Perhaps if you showed the slightest hint at human compassion I would be glad to talk to tell you that I don't care about what "drama" you had with people who aren't here... that I'm here to work. Oh wait I did say that and yet you constantly poked and prodded ineffectively.
Why would I want to engage in conversation with someone who if I compliment something on them they react defensively? "oh that's a pretty cute hat" "don't hate on my hat" *confusion* or I make a nerdy joke or play on words which goes over your head.
The fact is we had nothing in common but I was never a "bitch" to you no matter how much you may deserve to be treated in kind. Granted being fired is probably great as the oddities going on there were getting a bit too awkward for me anyway...
You are indeed creepier than the men working there before and made me feel uncomfortable by being you. Not by anything that happened between anyone else or something someone said. YOU DID THAT! People don't think you're nice b/c you ARE NOT NICE! I tend to not want sexual advances from women I'm not even remotely attracted to. I'm not sure if that was you trying to be playful or what reason there was for that but I can say with full confidence that I never gave any hint of attraction toward you because there is nothing there that I find attractive... I tend to be more into subtle flirts and those who can wow me with their mental prowess... not incomprehensible slurred words
In all honesty I couldn't tell whether you were ever sober in any of my interactions with you... if slurring has become part of your normal speech or if you're constantly on some sort of upper or downer or everything in between.
It literally took me 3 tries to half way understand your voice message to me about work. I thought some drunkard had dialed a wrong number to me.
Maybe I answered this earlier but why aren't people adults and don't come to your face with problems. Here's why....
*Being an adult we all have problems and lives and taking time out to talk to someone face to face would only be done for those who one actively wants in their life or has some ounce of care for
*Time constraints
*you being a violent person, not equipped with the tools for debate, self reflection or empathy
*One didn't have a problem with you and YOU are projecting your own insecurities onto others and creating problems where THERE WERE NONE!
*They don't understand what you're saying anyway so what's the point of trying to talk to you?
Perhaps in the future if you suspect someone has a PERSONAL issue with you... be an adult and take the initiative to find out the truth in a non aggressive fashion and you will build more mature, strong and healthy relationships.
If you think this is about you then yes it probably is. If you'd like to talk it out perhaps you can write a message to me about it cause all joking aside I really don't understand you when you talk. Maybe if I find the time or care to talk to you face to face we can bring a little chalk board?
Anyway I'm done... I apologize for not waiting the 6th months I promised to post this... I am utterly jealous that I never did anything with my life, good luck with your empire. (that was sarcasm, I know you don't grasp the concept of such things that aren't being thrown down your throat but try to think that one over)
ps: "hating" you are far too old to be using such terminology... upgrade your grammar
I really haven't disliked someone in a long time and had 0 reason to here until you created this. I'd say some sarcastic I wish you luck bullshit but I honestly don't. I'm just happy to not have you in my life anymore. For this I'm eternally grateful
Pretty sure you don't remember this but this was the FIRST time I met you. I thought you were a bit out there but entertaining nether the less... I really dunno where your issue came from. And if it was ever me not being in a "good mood" in the morning I happen to have a lot going on, all it would've taken to clear that up was asking. The ONLY time I didn't address you was AFTER you fired me in such a cunty way. Why would I acknowledge your presence then? It's not about that you HAD to fire me, that's fine but a little compassion for where I'm coming from (weirdo trying to get a little car and go back to school and travels 6 fucking hours a day to work at your damn studio even though I'm sick takes a couple days off. No my bad, hope life treats you well, maybe we can work this out... NOTHING!) My issue with you is that you are a self indulgent ice queen who couldn't give a rats ass about anyone else who isn't a comfy couch or up your ass...
Real fuckin' talk (all questions are rhetorical... I don't care/need a response from you. I do hope you know what that word means.)
Britney Siren
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Before I go (a long overdue posting)
I read a semi-old response to my posting of my cam schedule online. There's some other things I'd like to address while I have a free moment and in the spirit to sort them out via this venue before I get back to business as usual.
I tend to get a lot of messages via well a fuck ton of social networks. Fine and dandy. I enjoy responding when I have the time though the well entitlement issues that some suffer from can make it a bit of a daunting task. "you're not on here much" "I saw you were online and you JUST responded to my message, this was a month/months ago" When I used to message girls who I knew to be model's especially I wasn't even expecting to ever get a response so getting one at all even if it was months later I always appreciated it... why people have this feeling that I have to respond to them or neglecting the fact that I get a lot of messages and have work and life to deal with. I am a human being, same as you and cannot spend all my time answering messages. I have obligations to friends and family and hobbies that I like to enjoy. I need time to unwind and not be a persona as well when it comes to web camming and most of what I do on the Internet is that very persona... an off shoot of myself, exaggerated in certain area's and others saved for those very close to me. I never demand that anyone follow me, pay me for anything... that you have to look at pictures of a nearly naked or naked woman... BUT if you wish to see those things and deal with me in that sort of light then there are avenues that you have to go through to get that...
I don't expect a carpenter to give me free furniture... a store owner to let me eat food for free YET this is expected out of many sex workers. Something I simply do not understand. I think if you haven't done it the weight and sheer psychology of what happens beyond the "man has boner, naked lady fix this" aspect. There are many venues where you can cam with a girl for free. Many avenues where you can see a girl cum for free and view a variety of free porn and such... I can say I've seen these places and if it were as simple as that then no one would come to me or other women in similar industries. There is obviously something else needed... whether it's a social connection or a connection to another in some way, boredom in one's own relationship and not wanting to go out and cheat, sharing sexual fantasies with someone who isn't involved in their life and therefore it's safer, advice.... the reasons are many.
I'm paid to fulfill some sort of need and in turn you don't get to deal with my baggage and I can ignore a varied amount of baggage w/in reason that a normal woman would probably not overlook is another thing that I think is ignored entirely.
You don't have to respect me, buy anything from me, pay attention to me at all if it brings you no joy or pleasure. Sending me weird things about dissatisfaction or shame will not make me feel shameful. I do something that many cannot do... in fact I do a ton of things that many wouldn't even dream of trying. For that I'm neither ashamed or embarrassed. I'm a cam girl, model... a weirdo who is content with the way life is going. It isn't perfect... many things take work but a simple no thanks or even no response is better than sending me things on how I should feel. I don't impose my morals (or lack there of) on anyone...
Live and let live... dont' project your own failings and insecurities on a person who you couldn't have a half an ounce of hope of successfully tearing down at this point. Camming has given me some pretty thick skin... You'd have to dig pretty deep to inflict damage and chances are you are in a position of no power if you have to do so and those words will not mean anything to me. I'll give it a quick laugh, then get back to life. I don't think anyone should waste time trying to tear others down... most will see through how pathetic you are .
Alright now back to things going on lately :D
Had a shoot with Alt error last week. Still waiting on more pictures and anticipating each one! I'll post my favorite so far that I've received at the end of this blog.
As it stands shooting wise April is pretty open for the most part with the exception Sunday the 7th! If you'd like to shoot feel free to drop me a line. If you have any inquiries about my Store or anything else for that matter feel free to email me as well.
Also my cam studio is in need of girls (especially for the early shift). If you'd like to apply please click here!
It's a good place to work. There great base pay for the first couple of weeks, great girls who will help you do better. High speed computers and an awesome safe environment to work in. Just passing this along to those who are interested in it. If not that's entirely ok (especially considering the start of this post, though I assure you there are more good ppl than bad when it comes to camming, just had the weirdest morning lol) I'm posting this b/c well it's a start up and I'd like it to succeed, not only because I enjoy working there and otherwise I may have to return to less safe/shittier studio's to continue to work but for the other girls who also enjoy such a place and never have to experience places that are unhelpful, condescending and shitty to their girls.
I guess that's about it for now. I can be found on Streamate most mornings 11am - 4pm pacific time (Monday - Friday usually) check me out sometime if you like
by mykes photos!
XOXO
Britney Siren
I tend to get a lot of messages via well a fuck ton of social networks. Fine and dandy. I enjoy responding when I have the time though the well entitlement issues that some suffer from can make it a bit of a daunting task. "you're not on here much" "I saw you were online and you JUST responded to my message, this was a month/months ago" When I used to message girls who I knew to be model's especially I wasn't even expecting to ever get a response so getting one at all even if it was months later I always appreciated it... why people have this feeling that I have to respond to them or neglecting the fact that I get a lot of messages and have work and life to deal with. I am a human being, same as you and cannot spend all my time answering messages. I have obligations to friends and family and hobbies that I like to enjoy. I need time to unwind and not be a persona as well when it comes to web camming and most of what I do on the Internet is that very persona... an off shoot of myself, exaggerated in certain area's and others saved for those very close to me. I never demand that anyone follow me, pay me for anything... that you have to look at pictures of a nearly naked or naked woman... BUT if you wish to see those things and deal with me in that sort of light then there are avenues that you have to go through to get that...
I don't expect a carpenter to give me free furniture... a store owner to let me eat food for free YET this is expected out of many sex workers. Something I simply do not understand. I think if you haven't done it the weight and sheer psychology of what happens beyond the "man has boner, naked lady fix this" aspect. There are many venues where you can cam with a girl for free. Many avenues where you can see a girl cum for free and view a variety of free porn and such... I can say I've seen these places and if it were as simple as that then no one would come to me or other women in similar industries. There is obviously something else needed... whether it's a social connection or a connection to another in some way, boredom in one's own relationship and not wanting to go out and cheat, sharing sexual fantasies with someone who isn't involved in their life and therefore it's safer, advice.... the reasons are many.
I'm paid to fulfill some sort of need and in turn you don't get to deal with my baggage and I can ignore a varied amount of baggage w/in reason that a normal woman would probably not overlook is another thing that I think is ignored entirely.
You don't have to respect me, buy anything from me, pay attention to me at all if it brings you no joy or pleasure. Sending me weird things about dissatisfaction or shame will not make me feel shameful. I do something that many cannot do... in fact I do a ton of things that many wouldn't even dream of trying. For that I'm neither ashamed or embarrassed. I'm a cam girl, model... a weirdo who is content with the way life is going. It isn't perfect... many things take work but a simple no thanks or even no response is better than sending me things on how I should feel. I don't impose my morals (or lack there of) on anyone...
Live and let live... dont' project your own failings and insecurities on a person who you couldn't have a half an ounce of hope of successfully tearing down at this point. Camming has given me some pretty thick skin... You'd have to dig pretty deep to inflict damage and chances are you are in a position of no power if you have to do so and those words will not mean anything to me. I'll give it a quick laugh, then get back to life. I don't think anyone should waste time trying to tear others down... most will see through how pathetic you are .
Alright now back to things going on lately :D
Had a shoot with Alt error last week. Still waiting on more pictures and anticipating each one! I'll post my favorite so far that I've received at the end of this blog.
As it stands shooting wise April is pretty open for the most part with the exception Sunday the 7th! If you'd like to shoot feel free to drop me a line. If you have any inquiries about my Store or anything else for that matter feel free to email me as well.
Also my cam studio is in need of girls (especially for the early shift). If you'd like to apply please click here!
It's a good place to work. There great base pay for the first couple of weeks, great girls who will help you do better. High speed computers and an awesome safe environment to work in. Just passing this along to those who are interested in it. If not that's entirely ok (especially considering the start of this post, though I assure you there are more good ppl than bad when it comes to camming, just had the weirdest morning lol) I'm posting this b/c well it's a start up and I'd like it to succeed, not only because I enjoy working there and otherwise I may have to return to less safe/shittier studio's to continue to work but for the other girls who also enjoy such a place and never have to experience places that are unhelpful, condescending and shitty to their girls.
I guess that's about it for now. I can be found on Streamate most mornings 11am - 4pm pacific time (Monday - Friday usually) check me out sometime if you like
by mykes photos!
XOXO
Britney Siren
Thursday, March 14, 2013
The passion of lovers is pretend
So a few weeks ago I shoot a new set for zivity with Kryztopher Johnson-SWP.... I'll be posting a sample pic later in the blog. The name if the makeup artist and other photographer eludes me at the moment (sorry about that. If you're reading this it's not personal, I'm just terrible with names. You were super awesome!) I got to the shoot despite my huge desire to hibernate for the winter. So yay for that. We're planning another shoot for sometime next month that I'm very excited about... Bikini fancy hat and uber stripper shoes will be evolved. Should be a real "hoot".
Speaking of hoots... I have some very special owl undies that you can purchase from me along with other fancy panties. (I'll work on getting those up and others ASAP) Maybe parties aren't your thing? Skype shows are also available. Looking into incorporating gaming sessions in them for extra fun! Prints perhaps? If you have am inquiry about any of these things do drop me an email by clicking this very link right here. You can also visit my store by clicking here to see what's already online.
Even if you have a question about buying old wardrobe. I trend to sell things off after I've shoot in it drop me a line for that as well.
Got a few kind words from some awesome streamate guys...
(was gonna post some messages but I'm feeling some what lazy now lol)
Thanks so much. Kind words do matter!
**Schedule so far...***
Monday - Friday : I'm normally on Streamate from 11am - 4pm pacific time of any given week.
You can see all of the lovely ladies who work at my studio, when they are online by going to Valley Cam Girl's Website
*March*
15th: PARTAY WOOT WOOT
16th Kiddie Land Meetup
23rd (possible shoot? tentative)
24th Geeky Pinups and High Times shoot (if you'd like to attend as a model or photographer do click the link and join this most wonder group of folks, get some great pics and meet some great people)
30th Wondercon
*April*
BOOK ME!!!!! <3
Finally if you guys would like me to cover any topics for YouTube vlog... Drop me a line for that too. It's been a while since I've done that. Would be fun to get back into that.
Xoxo
Britney siren
Speaking of hoots... I have some very special owl undies that you can purchase from me along with other fancy panties. (I'll work on getting those up and others ASAP) Maybe parties aren't your thing? Skype shows are also available. Looking into incorporating gaming sessions in them for extra fun! Prints perhaps? If you have am inquiry about any of these things do drop me an email by clicking this very link right here. You can also visit my store by clicking here to see what's already online.
Even if you have a question about buying old wardrobe. I trend to sell things off after I've shoot in it drop me a line for that as well.
Got a few kind words from some awesome streamate guys...
(was gonna post some messages but I'm feeling some what lazy now lol)
Thanks so much. Kind words do matter!
**Schedule so far...***
Monday - Friday : I'm normally on Streamate from 11am - 4pm pacific time of any given week.
You can see all of the lovely ladies who work at my studio, when they are online by going to Valley Cam Girl's Website
*March*
15th: PARTAY WOOT WOOT
16th Kiddie Land Meetup
23rd (possible shoot? tentative)
24th Geeky Pinups and High Times shoot (if you'd like to attend as a model or photographer do click the link and join this most wonder group of folks, get some great pics and meet some great people)
30th Wondercon
*April*
BOOK ME!!!!! <3
Finally if you guys would like me to cover any topics for YouTube vlog... Drop me a line for that too. It's been a while since I've done that. Would be fun to get back into that.
Xoxo
Britney siren
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
stuffs
So there was a bit of randomness to be had with the ladies at valley cam girl studio. I implore you to enjoy this version and the booby version up on the site. Feel free to see whose currently online by clicking here!
If you haven't seen my latest zivity set you should take a gander at it. Took a while to get it up but it's finally there and very messy. If you like it or any of the other sets I have up (other sets not by me for that matter) do give them a vote. Voting supports shooting and goes to both model and photographer do show some love when ya can :)
Also shot another set for zivity's wet t shirt contest add week with Leonard Thompson! I'll keep you posted on when that goes live here or via twitter! It was a very cold experience and I'm sure my doc Martins are out of commission for the week as a result but sol very fun to shoot
Got to go to a Katrina brown group shoot (finally) and had loads of fun! Even got to be in some additional themed shoots which is a welcome surprise. can't wait for the next shoot.
Other than that life is rolling along as it does. Still saving up for my own place (which I may require sooner than expected yet I'm not entirely surprised by this notion). Other fun shoots to look forward to and tons of streamate time to chat away the day with all you fine ppl :)
****************************************
**SCHEDULE SO FAR**
(Pacific times and schedule is subject to change. Typically mon through Friday is for streamate and weekend days /Friday night is free for shooting. If you'd like to attend a group shoot as a photographer or model feel free to click the links to sign up or inquire)
February
*27th streamate from 11am _ 4pm
*28th streamate 11am_ 4pm
March
*2nd pinhook shoot (on fetlife)
*3rd SWP Shoot
*16th kiddieland meetup
*24th geeky pinups/high times shoot
*30th Wondercon meetup
***************************************
That's about it so far! Hope you all have a lovely week!!
XOXO
Britney Siren
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Cam girl of the month
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Saturday, February 9, 2013
A formal post of more formality less filling
Since I have today to do with what I please (today's shoot was cancelled due to weather) I figured it'd be a nice time to write a long drawn out cacophony of words to satiate my writting fixations. One problem with stability is there's not much to say. Most days are the same and that's not as entertaining to read. Much of the mundane is lost in minutes and hours and lumps together until there is a high point.
So what's the high points of this week? Other than the very fun masturbating santa clause hobo I saw from the bus or other scary hobos throwing things at ppl making me rethink how much I really need to focus on getting a car. Oddly enough I didn't look at all that as anything out of the ordinary or that terrible. I remember when I lived in the middle of no where briefly so I can honestly say I prefer something to happen sometimes to let me know that life happens though this is a bit extreme I guess. It amuses me how there can be expensive lofts and entertainment in the same area where there are so many transients and poor that they're slowly trying to flush out. There's so many different activities and even while doing nothing one can be amused by watching all the people in their hustle and bustle and imagining where those folks might be off to.
I have no real complaints about life. I've learned to maximize my long bus rides by checking messages on them so that's kinda cool. Less time for gaming though that's not super important. There will be times where I'll have too much time for that so I'm not super worried.
Hopefully I'll have enough to start looking into cars in the next month or two. Apartment hunting by the summer would be pretty rad. I've been looking into a few areas that seem promising price wise.
In general I'm excited about the future. About expanding the areas I can shoot in. Getting back into school perhaps? (guess that's a wee bit further down the totem pole but I give it a thought here and there).
Learning to appreciate what I have and what could come... and to stretch better so that I don't get random muscle cramps attempting to do a basic spin on stripper poles :P
I look forward to strengthening bonds already made and the new possibilities...
I'm just happy
(don't have much of a schedule update to add just yet so I'll save that for another day now I'm off to apply to some more gigs and then who knows )
by hamyak hakopian :P
XOXO (from a semi resting siren)
Britney Siren
So what's the high points of this week? Other than the very fun masturbating santa clause hobo I saw from the bus or other scary hobos throwing things at ppl making me rethink how much I really need to focus on getting a car. Oddly enough I didn't look at all that as anything out of the ordinary or that terrible. I remember when I lived in the middle of no where briefly so I can honestly say I prefer something to happen sometimes to let me know that life happens though this is a bit extreme I guess. It amuses me how there can be expensive lofts and entertainment in the same area where there are so many transients and poor that they're slowly trying to flush out. There's so many different activities and even while doing nothing one can be amused by watching all the people in their hustle and bustle and imagining where those folks might be off to.
I have no real complaints about life. I've learned to maximize my long bus rides by checking messages on them so that's kinda cool. Less time for gaming though that's not super important. There will be times where I'll have too much time for that so I'm not super worried.
Hopefully I'll have enough to start looking into cars in the next month or two. Apartment hunting by the summer would be pretty rad. I've been looking into a few areas that seem promising price wise.
In general I'm excited about the future. About expanding the areas I can shoot in. Getting back into school perhaps? (guess that's a wee bit further down the totem pole but I give it a thought here and there).
Learning to appreciate what I have and what could come... and to stretch better so that I don't get random muscle cramps attempting to do a basic spin on stripper poles :P
I look forward to strengthening bonds already made and the new possibilities...
I'm just happy
(don't have much of a schedule update to add just yet so I'll save that for another day now I'm off to apply to some more gigs and then who knows )
by hamyak hakopian :P
XOXO (from a semi resting siren)
Britney Siren
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Update yo life
So here's my formal update that I was promising today! For all those who care here's a time lapse video of the feather shoot I did the other week.
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/97571865/Feather%20Tme%20Lapse%20Draft.m4v
^--- check it out, it's at that link. Silly girls like me aren't sure how to embed this code so this is the best I can do.
Schedule update 2/5/13
Monday - Friday (4th - 8th) : In studio at Valley Cam Girls! 10am - 4pm If you'd like to book a show feel free to check out my store vgrl.me/bss and for the actual live shows (normally online by 11am pacific time vcgrl.me/bssm ) Feel free to pop in
9th: ANDERSON shoot for Zivity! @ 2pm
12th Alan (shoot)?
16th DJM Photoretouching Shoot
(most monday's and friday's I'll be in studio but feel free to book something with me over the weekend)
********************************
Other than that not much going on, Still saving up for a car/new place. Things have been relatively calm. Social life has been improving quite a bit and I just bought a fuck ton of random colorful underwear. Life is going pretty good! :)
So with that said I bid thee farewell then :P
^------another D W Kim shot! Zivity Set coming soon!!!!
XOXO
A very tired
Britney Siren
Off to rest time I go
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/97571865/Feather%20Tme%20Lapse%20Draft.m4v
^--- check it out, it's at that link. Silly girls like me aren't sure how to embed this code so this is the best I can do.
Schedule update 2/5/13
Monday - Friday (4th - 8th) : In studio at Valley Cam Girls! 10am - 4pm If you'd like to book a show feel free to check out my store vgrl.me/bss and for the actual live shows (normally online by 11am pacific time vcgrl.me/bssm ) Feel free to pop in
9th: ANDERSON shoot for Zivity! @ 2pm
12th Alan (shoot)?
16th DJM Photoretouching Shoot
(most monday's and friday's I'll be in studio but feel free to book something with me over the weekend)
********************************
Other than that not much going on, Still saving up for a car/new place. Things have been relatively calm. Social life has been improving quite a bit and I just bought a fuck ton of random colorful underwear. Life is going pretty good! :)
So with that said I bid thee farewell then :P
^------another D W Kim shot! Zivity Set coming soon!!!!
XOXO
A very tired
Britney Siren
Off to rest time I go
skype shows and streamate
booking one on one skype shows at vcgrl.me/bss and will be on streamate at vcgrl.me/bssm cya at around 11:30am - until 4pm
(I'll try to post a more formal update sometime tonight, I know I've been a bit busy)
(I'll try to post a more formal update sometime tonight, I know I've been a bit busy)
Sunday, February 3, 2013
quick post about webdates!!
http://valleycamgirls.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=13&products_id=52
^--- or a fancier word for skype show! I'll be back in studio tomorrow morning from around 10am - 4pm pacific time!
I'll also be on streamate! s/n Britney Siren!
Which ever you prefer is totally fine by me! Come say hello! Let me know if there's any products you'd be interested in as well!
Cya soon!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Rewind and Refresh
For those who have known me or have been following my progression and transgressions... things tend to hit an ebb and flow with me. For a while there things seemed like they would be relatively stagnant. I had stable income for the first time in forever. I had saved up a decent amount of money. I was out of the house... with roommates but nevertheless in a stable environment.
So this return to the homestead has become a bit of a let down. It's not the first time I've left home and have had to return so I know that I'll be back on my own once I save up enough. Something does have to be different this time. For one instead of holding onto every penny like a miser and watching it slowly go to something else that I cannot keep. . . I'd like to make sure to have a car this time around. There's been many opportunities where I've thought "damn I could have purchased a car but I did X with that money and now it's gone"
I know that the best laid plans sometimes don't go as planned though. IE my mental ability to stand living with family is a major factor. Once I do that it should potentially open up doors to more work and more things to get accomplished in one day. Rather than one shoot, work or one activity a day because travel time wouldn't allow me to do anything else I can do multiple things. Than in and of itself would be awesome. Though on the flip side this would be another expense as well.
Last night was my first time sleeping/being at home (family's home) in a long while. There's things that I missed and things that I didn't miss so much. Like the inability to watch a television b/c ppl are yelling or talking or even talking to you while you are on the phone. I'm not sure if the universal (or what would be thought of as) laws of politeness simply do not apply but I guess I'll have to get used to this all over again.
Nothing too major is getting me down save the fact that I couldn't bring all my things with me and just hating depending on anyone else for anything. I think I've done enough to smooth things over for the next couple of weeks at least... I should be more settled into some form a a routine late this week/after I have everything out of my old place...
Mentally preparing to see/hear ppl I have no desire of interacting with and their rude interactions. I could go into further detail but I think it would behoove me simply to let it be. Hell maybe it won't be as bad as I'm thinking it will be/has been in the past? Perhaps I'm better equipped to handle these things w/ less offence.
I noticed a baiting tactic even in my first few hours of being here and I kept out of it...
As cold as it may sound, I'm in no way shape or form interested in offering care or empathy for those who have harmed me in ways that are unforgivable and never even bothered to say sorry or do anything to show good faith yet expect my support and care when I don't get that from them.
I'm here only because I need to work on things for myself and have no interest in carrying anyone else's problems.
There were already things said that make me worry in the arena of ppl I don't feel safe around / my things aren't safe around possibly returning. This may hinder future car plans... in which case I may opt for a 3rd option which would be to rent a couch/living room area which is significantly cheaper than a private room. I could still save and feel safe but wouldn't have much privacy, since I don't have that now I guess it's not a super big stretch.
So this is what's going on with me. I'll start booking shoots as soon as I'm settled here. Since I'm depending on others to help me might not be when I want or am expecting which I planned for... but brings back feelings of why I like to do everything on my own.
Hopefully something gives before I break...
But let's end on a positive note!
Soon I'll be booking shoots and that's always fun.... I don't have to buy food... (yay!) It doesn't smell here (double yay) And no more long trips to do laundry (TRIZIPLE YAY!). Also this bed happens to be the most comfortable bed I've ever experienced... bravo for that.
All isn't lost...
From a recent shoot with Lightbrite! We have some zivity sets which should be approved soon (hopefully)
So be on the look out for that! Remember that this site allows votes that give money to photographer and model so if you'd like to support someone's work give them a vote or two or 50! :P If you're interested in shooting for them let me know... the winds of time shall calm and then we can gets our shoot on. If you require hair (and since I'm addicted to wigs anyway) we can always buy some for your hair needing.... uh needs.
For some reason I can't locate my planner... I'll have to post another schedule update in another post!
XOXO
Britney Siren
So this return to the homestead has become a bit of a let down. It's not the first time I've left home and have had to return so I know that I'll be back on my own once I save up enough. Something does have to be different this time. For one instead of holding onto every penny like a miser and watching it slowly go to something else that I cannot keep. . . I'd like to make sure to have a car this time around. There's been many opportunities where I've thought "damn I could have purchased a car but I did X with that money and now it's gone"
I know that the best laid plans sometimes don't go as planned though. IE my mental ability to stand living with family is a major factor. Once I do that it should potentially open up doors to more work and more things to get accomplished in one day. Rather than one shoot, work or one activity a day because travel time wouldn't allow me to do anything else I can do multiple things. Than in and of itself would be awesome. Though on the flip side this would be another expense as well.
Last night was my first time sleeping/being at home (family's home) in a long while. There's things that I missed and things that I didn't miss so much. Like the inability to watch a television b/c ppl are yelling or talking or even talking to you while you are on the phone. I'm not sure if the universal (or what would be thought of as) laws of politeness simply do not apply but I guess I'll have to get used to this all over again.
Nothing too major is getting me down save the fact that I couldn't bring all my things with me and just hating depending on anyone else for anything. I think I've done enough to smooth things over for the next couple of weeks at least... I should be more settled into some form a a routine late this week/after I have everything out of my old place...
Mentally preparing to see/hear ppl I have no desire of interacting with and their rude interactions. I could go into further detail but I think it would behoove me simply to let it be. Hell maybe it won't be as bad as I'm thinking it will be/has been in the past? Perhaps I'm better equipped to handle these things w/ less offence.
I noticed a baiting tactic even in my first few hours of being here and I kept out of it...
As cold as it may sound, I'm in no way shape or form interested in offering care or empathy for those who have harmed me in ways that are unforgivable and never even bothered to say sorry or do anything to show good faith yet expect my support and care when I don't get that from them.
I'm here only because I need to work on things for myself and have no interest in carrying anyone else's problems.
There were already things said that make me worry in the arena of ppl I don't feel safe around / my things aren't safe around possibly returning. This may hinder future car plans... in which case I may opt for a 3rd option which would be to rent a couch/living room area which is significantly cheaper than a private room. I could still save and feel safe but wouldn't have much privacy, since I don't have that now I guess it's not a super big stretch.
So this is what's going on with me. I'll start booking shoots as soon as I'm settled here. Since I'm depending on others to help me might not be when I want or am expecting which I planned for... but brings back feelings of why I like to do everything on my own.
Hopefully something gives before I break...
But let's end on a positive note!
Soon I'll be booking shoots and that's always fun.... I don't have to buy food... (yay!) It doesn't smell here (double yay) And no more long trips to do laundry (TRIZIPLE YAY!). Also this bed happens to be the most comfortable bed I've ever experienced... bravo for that.
All isn't lost...
From a recent shoot with Lightbrite! We have some zivity sets which should be approved soon (hopefully)
So be on the look out for that! Remember that this site allows votes that give money to photographer and model so if you'd like to support someone's work give them a vote or two or 50! :P If you're interested in shooting for them let me know... the winds of time shall calm and then we can gets our shoot on. If you require hair (and since I'm addicted to wigs anyway) we can always buy some for your hair needing.... uh needs.
For some reason I can't locate my planner... I'll have to post another schedule update in another post!
XOXO
Britney Siren
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
A moment of clarity
Now that I have a moment where I'm not running around w/ squirly all here's a general update on life, shooting and the pursuit of the all mighty dollar. Found a normal day job with regular hours... YAY! A few things I'm not entirely used to that I have to readjust to. Being on transit most of the week. Being outside, Dealing with humans on a day to day basis. Standing for long periods of time. Remembering shit... uh actual normal work days and the amount of money that means for said day. Not having endless amounts of time to do menial house tasks like before.
On the positive side, even if I didn't need this... I kinda need this. When you work from home you don't interact with any real humans (I mean you kinda can, but you don't) Things become a little odd when you don't have real human interaction for days or don't get real sun exposure/a nice walk. With this job I've gotten to do all that. Also the brain gets this little boost when learning something so far from one's comfort zone.
So I'm tired but I am happy that I can start a normal budget and not cry about buying food b/c I'm not sure If I'll be able to make my minimum. That said I don't think I'll quit web camming all together. For one no adult can live off min. wage especially in LA... I'd literally have to not eat or do anything else and walk to work in order to do that lol. I'm trying not to cut back on the days I'm online but there are days where I'm far too tired to get up to do it. I've tried night time and I'm sure it could possibly work out if I were consistently on at night. At this time I've been on so much in the AM that there are ppl I see even if I don't tweet or mention anything about it. Could try to slowly ease into coming on later? I'm not sure, there's something about saving the nighttime for being a lazy fuck and eating and staring at the ceiling that I find immensely appealing.
Ok now that all that dribble is out of the way here's a run down of my schedule thus far. Monday - Friday I must reserve for working. At least until I get a car though on occassion if the location is near my house/downtown LA I can still do it after work since it takes about an hour to get there from work. Would preffer sat/sunday though
January
*24th Manos (the hands of fate) May go see this after work @7:30
*25th Spirited Away/Pom Poko @ Egyptian Theatre @7:30 (would just love to see this on the big screen)
*26th @2pm DJM Photo Retouching Shoot , @10pm Batcave Uniform Night (really wanna go, we'll see what happens)
*31st Another Rift Traks movie @7:30pm
February
**BOOK ME MAN ON A WEEKEND!! DOOEEEET!!**
Aside from this.... have quite a few sets that are being published on Zivity for you to enjoy and some up and coming too!! If you got no clue what zivity is, it's a site where you can vote on sets and the photographer/model both get a little change for your votes, so if you really like a set you can give le votes which in turn makes us wanna shoot many a picture for your enjoyment!
Watch out for this last one very VERY soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
(so yeah sexy ladies, shoot with him... he's pretty rad)
XOXO
Britney Siren
Thursday, January 17, 2013
edit the photo II
I know I said I would do this more often, I've been a little bit busy. Same rules as last time except feel free to add or take away whatever you like, This is an unedited image. Originally by lightbrite.
One month to enter (post it on deviant art and let me know about it) january 17th - February 17th
My favorite will receive a small print of their work signed by me w/ a little kissy mark
If you'd like follow me on twitter @siren_voice or become a fan on facebook.com/britneysiren <-- only 60 there so let's get those numbah's up *crosses fingers*
Off to work while I try to think of other spiffy prizes to offer
you can also sample my wares on ebay http://myworld.ebay.com/vagrantgrrrl
that be all son
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