Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Had an audition today with an Extra Casting Company (and yes the name is escaping me right now but that's ok lol) They said I was the best of the day and that I could totally handle doing an entire scene. So that either means I did really awesome or everyone sucked ass which either way cool for me and better than I had anticipated. When I called this morning I thought I'd just go in and they'd look at me and go yeah we got stuff for you or no we don't gtfo. Didn't really expect to be reading anything. I've never done any sort of speaking role but I figured I could handle walking in the background of some shit. Needless to say it's actually kinda fun. I get a bit scatter brained when it comes to performing. Horror movies have always been amusing... Sci-fi I think would be a bit more challenging in the acting department for me... (more weird things to remember that dont' really exist and some that do) But frankly running around covered in blood shouting cheesy shit would be das uber fun I think. I may be getting such a chance over the weekend provided all the info is sent to me in time. *twiddles fingers* If not I guess I'll uh.... find something else less interesting to do with my time. At least I'll have money sorta. A mediocre pay day off two days (not full days) of work over the course of 2 weeks. I feel like I've had my hair "normal" for no reason. I mean currently it's all poofy and shit which I like. (I liked it better before every black girl wanted to do it so ghetto ppl would just look at me crazy and not talk to me which made me quite pleased but now it's "hip" ugh)
I would really love big giant blue twists. Some light blue, some dark... all over my head making it weigh 50 pounds heavier but looking oh so candy like and bringing a giant smile to my cheesy face.
Anywho back to the casting thing... I was told they're casting for a bunch of things and no mention of fees of any sort so there's a good chance I haven't been scammed to death (cause they shouldn't be asking for money upfront/I don't have money so joke be on dem huh?) Hopefully this will fill in the numerous gaps in my schedule. I rather hate being idle and I've been finding "busy" work and I want shit that's stimulating and well money making...
As far as shooting goes:
September 1st :shooting with Moonstix in the evening
September 3rd: Tentative horror bloody-ish shoot at night
So if ya wanna shoot something sometime in the future.... this new month we can go on ahead and set that up!! Cause it would be seeming that this whole "day job" thing isn't really day jobbing like it should is it!
Papa Vic Photography (I would link to the other girls but I don't know if they even have ports actually, was a bit of a mission getting pictures so I figured I should at least post one. Not what I expected but... it's cute)
Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I would rather work for a company that uh pays me on time for decent pay :-/
Monday, August 29, 2011
Met some new folks, saw some old folks... thinking back on things makes me smiley and giggly.
But now one must get back to the real week.
I "think" I'm on call today but since I haven't gotten contacted with an actual time one can assume this will probably be pushed to tomorrow (as usual). I hope not... I rather like having my Tues. free especially considering that Thursday i'll be shooting (good thing but does cut into one's personal time)
So that means I'm free every day except Thursday (and possibly Tuesday... :-/)
In light of all this un-even job working-ness... I've been on the application ball again. Frankly I feel the house situation easily going back to the way it was. I just really want to be on my own again. At this rate now of un-stable income I won't be able to get a car let alone afford rent/internet/ all the other useless shit I've come to love and depend on.
I miss some solitude and the privacy I used to have, not to mention quiet. This weekend had louds of quiet and smiley silly moments. ... brings me to a video blog topic I supposse ...
Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Youtube -- Formspring
Friday, August 26, 2011
Other than this... I plan to attempt hair fixings again and hope that it ends up looking the way I want. I'm not sure it's possible. The last time I straightened my hair months ago it came out nicely though... I guess I should've used the same brand of texturizer and left it in longer. Part of me wants to cut my hair and start over again. This would be my third attempt at having natural hair. It just sucks b/c I get it and it gets to a point to where I'm not really sure what the hell to do with it. I know there's natural hair blogs and products but... I dunno I still get kinda meh since I get bored very easily with my hair and not being able to change it often kind puts me in a hair slump. Lately the issue is working and them not wanting me to have fun colors so my hair has been feeling boring lately. They did say in October they wouldn't care though I haven't really worked with the public for the past month so technically I totally could've had green hair ;) Oh well...
Guess I can always wear wigs again but it's far too hot for them... feels like the end of summer is hotter than summer in it's entirety.
As far as shooting availability... here's what it's looking like as of now
**August 29th-- Joylyn Birthday Event at Glass Slipper Studio (if you'd like to attend it's only $30 bucks for photographers) (event info here)
**September 1st --Shoot with Moonstix (can't wait!!!)
If you would like to shoot or get info on the event above feel free to contact me on Model Mayhem or Deviant Art. You can also contact me about shooting as well
Guess that's about all... My dancing bug is itching... I think I may do that though I'm not sure, I wanna save money/my hair will poof out horridly/I haven't gotten nearly enough sleep this morning so I might get tired really early.
Lightbrite! (super duper awesome proffessional non-creep-tastic photog guy)
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Thursday, August 25, 2011
man my eyes aren't showing lmfao!!!
Uh at any rate... I'm booking shoots for next week so feel free to contact me on Model Mayhem or Deviant art...
(jeez it's hot today)
So far I'm only booked for Sunday and Thursday!
I guess that's about all!! (now back to uh... watching avatar)
Twitter -- Tumblr -- Youtube --Formspring
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I think today I'll work on my hair for a few hours perhaps to give me something to do. I'm wondering if I totally could've had green hair all month and if it would've mattered considering I've just been doing cleaning work for uh le' day job so far. I'm really bored of having normal dull colored hair... so very bored of it. I want pinks' and blue's and purples too!!! *sigh*
I'm being careful money wise (since I really haven't been terribly careful a month ago and the purchase of this computer pretty much depleted my surplus. (I get worried when my bank account gets under a certain amount.) I'm thinking by next pay check it should be back to normal and hmm I dunno I should still take it easy. I feel like I'm at the time of year where sleep has become more important. I've been so tired lately. So a peaceful hanging out is really appreciated (especially where I can get some shut eye)
I can't get MAME to work!! That blows... my ps1 emu is also being retarded. I wonder if I should go back to the inital emulator that I wanted to use because it's the only one where the video actually loaded (though it ran quickly) and begin the google work to well get it running at the proper speeds. Part of me feels semi-lazy on that front knowing that I'll need at least a couple of hours of net time and patience which I dunno I could spend doing something productive or playing other games... reading?
PS: random weight loss from not really exercising is hmmm weird. I dunno most people look at it as yay you lost 11 pounds woot woot... (though it is alarming to think that soda adds that much weight to a person) I dunno so far I haven't lost any boobage or buttage and I like my big ass thighs... I just don't want to become a string bean... Maybe I should half ass exercise so everything can keep it's shape (though even when I was 115 pounds I still had a curvy shape... hmmm still too skinny for my taste)
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Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Yeah soda and chips are the worst. adn there like addictive too... even if u wanted to gain weight u might as well do it healthy... anyway whats up lately hun?
lately...hmmm not much. The life of a broke person is uh... not terribly exciting. Tend to have these periods of half way decent money then brokeness lol
say hey... I like you... ummm I'm sorry I don't have a creative answer for this. :-/ I guess I'm lame. Fun fact... since I've cut nearly all the soda and sugary drinks out of my diet I went from 140 to 129 pounds... not that I'm trying to lose weight but... that's kinda cool I guess and strange... so soda makes you uh.... super fat?
Friday, August 19, 2011
Other than that yesterdays "workshop" with MXD went well but wasn't what I expected. For some reason I was expecting it to be similar to regular group shoots with a bunch of things going on at once. This was much slower paced which is cool I guess and no time allotted for one-on-one's either. One tip for anyone thinking of getting into photography with models... do learn to relax and talk to the person you're shooting. If you can't make a bit of small talk and give direction/some positive words here and there to make sure the model knows they're doing the right thing (and also establishing more comfort)... this can make for an awkward shoot especially with a beginning model who doesn't know what she's doing and probably thinks everything she's doing sucks lol Just a suggestion.
I would also say not to say certain things to a person you're meeting for the first time until you've gauged out what's ok and what isn't. Ya never really know what can be offensive to people and not everyone will speak up about it so watch your tongue in professional settings.
To the man who I met last night who reads my blogs... ok me saying "I know no one reads my blogs" it's a lie. I know a few ppl do... I've gotten a few gigs this way and other people have mentioned coming across it. etc... I just want to say that some of the things you said weren't appropriate and leave it at that. One thing I will say that you should never say to any black or ethnic person ever is anything resembling "you speak well for insert random race, almost like a white girl etc." it's offensive as fuck... srsly don't say that shit. I don't think you will grasp how irritating that is b/c you will never have to put yourself in a minorities position but try to understand. What am I supposed to sound like? Ghetto cause I'm from the ghetto? Just b/c someone is born and raised in it... well let's just say everyone here isn't a cess pool of idiocracy. Most ppl are just trying to get along and leave others alone. A small percentage cause trouble and that's not usually a problem if one knows how to conduct oneself and leaves those people alone.
I just hate stereotyping and backhanded compliments.... and anything pertaining to my personal life (IE: who I'm sleeping with) is no body's business... I'm not seeking advice, support or anything in my personal matters and as such I've stopped writing about them here... don't ask me or hint at anything of the such with me.
And no I don't know what I wrote 2 days ago... I don't go and re-read wth is here... who the hell does that?
End of bitch rant....
What I'm up to so far:
*8/20 -shoot with Papa Vic Photography
*8/25 -Shoot with Moonstix
*8/28-- Joylyn's Birthday Party Event!
As you can see other dates are still available for next week!! Let's book something shall we? (feel free to contact me at the links at the end of this post)
vintage vista! Can't wait until we officially work together on our blindness shoot!! (and half afraid of rats and snakes and dying... guess we'll see)
Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I think i've begged u to play steam games like 5 times now xD woopsi lol. anyways though hows your photo shoots going hun? anything kewwwl happen? oh and uhmm...play tf2 xD jk but uhh i have sc2, i just dont play often. i do hope u get a new comp :D
Oh I got a new comp (which has put me in the poor house more so but I loves my new expensive child) Photo shoots still going good so far :D hahahaha I dunno about gaming on a lap top so much though
I would take the bed because it's huge and more comfortable than where I sleep *holds back*
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I think this person has workshops fairly often. If you'd like more info on this one or future workshops feel contact MXD on MM
He's got a meet up group and all that! I've worked with him before in the past. Very nice, professional guy w/ a HUGE set up out there :D
Something in the works for this Saturday?? hmmmm???
For now I go to my day job... tootles
lol good times!! I believe this was taken by Rick Garcia yes?! We've yet to have a real shoot... dammit that needs to be happening now! Well not right now cause I gotta go work lol
Monday, August 15, 2011
well stop being so simple for starters. You will attract the kind of person you deserve... so if you don't possess the qualities you want in a mate and aren't confident in your abilities... then you're not going to get the kinda person you want
The group shoot went pretty spiffy.... though I have no big group photo to show you at least I got a couple of pictures back. Which tends to be iffy with these things. I'm not so good at bothering people until they die which is probably the best way to get all your pictures back right? I have one that I will post some place near the bottom and all that good stuffs!
Met a lot of nice models and Photogs and a spiffy new make up artist! Hopefully I will be able to return in a couple of weeks for the whole b-day bash (which I'm hoping there will be a cake for me to jump out of b/c uh it's awesome!)
So as far as this week goes... I got nothing booked yet. I tentative for tomorrow and it appears that I'm on call Wednesday for work (which means uh hmmm dunno, don't make plans, we may or may not use you that day, tough titties?) There are things that of course need re-ched-jewel-ing and what not and once I'm fully awake I'll get right on that. Part of me feels like crawling back into the fetal position like everyone else in the house is doing at the moment lol. So here's the days that are blocked off for stuffs as of now...
*tues 16th tentative... shoot in the works
*28th Event that I implore you to register for ;)
2 days in 2 weeks... NO GOOD!! Though I have no issue filling my days with random shit to do, I'd rather be shooting.
Today, I could go print out some work documents or wait last minute to do it since I don't feel like going to kinkos... Sadly there is a printer staring right at me and I've no clue whether it works or not, where the cables are and that's semi-irritating as this would save me a lot of running to kinkos to print things time. Oh wells
Ok I'll stop here, my eyes don't want to stay open any longer
Fetish Dawg Photo and Make up by Keith Beck
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
ALSO... I'll be attending a group shoot Saturday the 13th. If you'd like to attend and possibly work with me it will be held
Glass Slipper Studio 12428 Oxnard St north Hollywood 91606 (shooting starts at 10am)
I of course get extra monies for you mentioning my name during sign in :D If you'd like to register call here 818-968-5605
More info can be found here!! (not sure if you need to have a profile to browse the forums though so let me know if it's not working for you!)
Other than that I'm booking shoots for next week! I'm still available Sunday and well this Friday also works too (provided I finish my hairs today lol!!!) Feel free to contact me about shooting or the group shoot and booking 1 on 1's on Model Mayhem or Deviant Art (please send a note if you're contacting me about shooting on DA)
I've also been enjoying the wonderful world of digital comic books that I thought would never appeal to me. I miss turning the pages. I don't miss spilling shit on things and losing the books entirely. I just finished American Virgin and that was fucking AMAZING!! I'm starting on Mystique today at some point :D
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Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Every day I'm hustlin' ... sadly but that's been the mantra of my life for especially for the past 3 years... sometimes it pays off other times not so much. I wonder when it'll stabilize though
you are all kinds of nerd. i swearrr you are the most awesomest chick ever. <333 oh and its insanity from DA. im like. everywhere. im like cancer! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay also u need ta get TF2 girl! come murder spys with me >:D
awwww hell thanks... I'll get it eventually and suck for at least 6 months before I figure out how to use the mouse properly but I think it could be worth it. What I know I could get soon though is starcraft II since I don't think I'll need a spiffy mouse for it though part of me is weary about playing newer games on a lap top. I may just wait until I can get a decent desktop computer
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
that's totally a question :-P I'm glad you're amused though... so I rank about the same on ur pervy scale... cool haha
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Anyway back to skin bleaching. I spent about a good 2 months obsessed with the topic. For a while I used to hella lighten my pictures online because I didn't feel they were pretty if it was in my natural shade or some how better lighter I guess. I'm sure this could've come from a lot of things. I would get the most back handed compliments that always made me feel second rate. Saying you're pretty for a dark girl isn't really pleasing to hear.
Before that I had that whole wandering eye business that still pops up every so often. I'm aware of it but it doesn't bother me like it used to (guess since it's hardly ever an issue and sometimes it looks cool in pictures being all crooked lol)
In most cases though I was the friendly, silly class clown of sorts until well other madness later on in life that I don't think I want to get into.
I thought since I wanted to do alternative modeling/fetish that it'd help being a bit lighter. Maybe more opportunities would open up? That there is def a divide and I'm tired of having to try twice as hard as my lighter counter parts to get the same shit.
The actual process was pretty irritating. (which is probably why I only did it for a month and decided to quit) Made my skin peel and always felt so dry. Now my skin has always been extremely soft and smooth and clear but this stuff was really fucking it over. I got a chemical burn in my eyebrows because I decided to bleach that day after getting my eyebrows waxed (and well one should know never to put chemicals on broken skin but I wasn't really thinking)
I was pretty depressed about things at that time. And looking back at it all now... I think this is the first time in a LONG time where I've been happy on a regular basis. Minor irritations here and there but I haven't given up b/c of a slight set back.
I eventually through modeling, and well browsing a shit load of pictures... working w/ various photogs etc. found an appreciation of who I am, my look, the fact that I don't quite fit in perfectly anywhere. I just became ok and fond of myself at some point. I'm not 100% sure when that happened. How even... perhaps it's when you're so focused on yourself and you keep winning these mini battles that confidence starts to emerge until the point to where you actively search out difficult things you never would've dreamed of attempting.
Ya know now that I think of it, probably had even less to do with life being easier. I think it was more to do with issues with my mother, hatred, self hatred and feeling to blame for her not being around... and the fact that seeing pictures of her when she was younger... we fucking look so much alike and I wanted to be nothing like that probably fueled this more than I realized at that time. I think that's my root.
I don't hate her anymore and just about everyone I had issue with, family wise and otherwise I'm not really angry with. I think a lesson can be learned from every interaction and just b/c someone didn't turn out the way I wanted them to be is no need to be upset about it forever. Just keep moving forward.
If there are any of you out there who are doing this I don't judge you for it. If it'll truly make you happy then go for it. Hell putting silly colors in my hair makes me happy. Do I need to? NOPE but I enjoy it. If it's because you think it'll make life easier or some how that in and of itself will make you more attractive to more people that's not entirely true. You can look any kind of way but if the confidence doesn't come from w/in... people will see through it. I guess I think it's best to find out why you're really doing it... and deal with those issues head on. It's not easy to get to the real root of an insecurity tree but it is well worth the work.
In the past few months I've exposed myself socially a bit. Done things alone and been so comfortable in doing them that sometimes I feel a little strange when someone else is around. I feel more confident having conversations with people. I no longer get people anxiety in groups that I'm not familiar with. I'm curious to see how much I can and will grow in the future. Made my first major purchase of this spiffy ass lap top that FUCKIN' MADE ME ORGASM FROM BEING ABLE TO FINALLY PLAY MARK OF THE WOLVES FULL FUCKING SCREEN WITH NO LAG!!!!!!
We can all change from the moment we want to take the hard road and fucking do it. Sometimes we lose friends, family.. . but those who matter and love you will always be there when you love yourself. Cause you can't love others if you can't do that right? Fucking sounds like a halmark bullshit card and I have no tips on how to do it... I really wish I did but it's true...
I feel so chipper!!
I do hope that this has made some sense... I started to ramble a bit.
---Model Mayhem--- Twitter --- Deviant Art --- Tumblr --- Formspring --- Youtube ---
Transmission Ended here
hmmm.... I'd shoot on the star trek tng set... I don't mind being a red shirt either lol Get to make cheesy exaggerated faces and be a dork... phasers??!!! The thought of it makes my head want to implode :D
Saturday, August 6, 2011
7th-- possible audition type thing, I should go I probably will go but I'll have to drag my ass to kinkos to print out shit and frankly I'm not sure I wanna spend the money... (library?? )
9th-- shoot with Displaymode Media
10th --Another audition
13th Glass Slipper Photo group shoot
Sooooo that leaves today, monday the 8th and friday the 12th open!! If you would like to shoot feel free to contact me on Model Mayhem or Deviant Art (messages prefered especially on DA)
As always I'm on Twitter, Tumblr, Formspring and Youtube! Feel free to check out my wishlist off the side (I'm lazy to link) if you'd like to see things to contribute to shoots or random shit I plan on buying eventually. (Oh I should erase those computers cause guess what... I bought one yesterday and now my wallet is crying buckets of tears at me. I do not regret it though. This one is so much nicer and more complete than the old one. I'm really happy to have it... now if I can get some paid shit from here on out I won't have to hurt so much yes?? No partying in my immediate future. damn adulthood!!)
click here for a link to the photographer (jim and jesefina)
Friday, August 5, 2011
I would make a longer entry but I'm sorta running late :-/
I must run
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
I plan on checking on some volunteering opportunities soon once I've exhausted the necessary work searches first. I want to volunteer at a pet hospital or somewhere that deals with animals (mainly dogs b/c I love them) I think it'd be good for the experience and well I absolutely HATE being idle for more than a few hours.
I guess the cuh-bosh on shooting today is out of the question (I hate impromtu shooting notices with people I haven't met before b/c I don't know how long it'll take to get to them, what to expect... etc) I'm still free to shoot tomorrow though in the night time I would like to keep it free to check out a fashion show that I was invited to (I would link but the timer is a clicking and it makes me semi nervous to take the time out to do it) Should be fun though, entry is free and bitches will be walking out of a vault so should be pretty dope.
If you'd like to set up a shoot for tomorrow though/this weekend or perhaps next week (except the 13th of course) feel free to contact me on Model Mayhem or Deviant Art (please send a message and not a blog comment, a tag on MM is perfectly fine)
Guess that's about it. I will retire for the rest of my day by partaking in movie going experience and possibly hitting up the good will for random ass shit.
As always I'm on Twitter , Tumblr, Formspring and Youtube
Martin Images.... give him a gander will ya!
Monday, August 1, 2011
I'll try to at least put some text updates as much as I can but the fact that I absolutely have to use library computers (cause even using my own computer on the wifi is better because I have all my files with me and all that jazz).
I'm not sure when I'll be able to update my ports or if I'll be able to shoot as much but I'll do my best. I'll try to figure all this out. Perhaps when I'm at a suitable computer I can still post updates but... I dunno.. .guess we'll see what happens. (actually it seems that my hard drive works fine w/ library computers so maybe I can update from here... just the whole timed thing and ppl behind me seeing nudity... kinda... doesn't make me feel too good lmfao)
Arinston Collander Photography shoot!! Very awesome to work with... super chill and not creepy creeper... has a spiffy puppy...
So far with work my weekend is up in the are but I am free Thursday to shoot... Feel free to contact me on Model Mayhem or Deviant Art (and please do so in a message or note... not a comments section... srsly)
As Always I'm on Tumblr, Twitter and Youtube!! (I'd like to the whole wish list thing but frankly I'm lazy and there's a widget on the side if you wanna check that out)
one other random fun note: It's good that I know basic short hand crap cause you can't right click on library computers... so yay I got through linking and posting a picture w/ the greatest of ease... I'll be treating myself to cookies now!
Oh another random note. I on some level want Saturday off b/c I'd really love to go to Das Bunker Friday. I haven't been in a while and I some what miss it. It's one of few places where there's enough room to dance freely with out smacking 20 people in the face. We'll see what happens I guess.