Sunday, December 21, 2014

tight in the belly, stiff as a board

While I take a bit of a break from store updating and focusing on my stomach pains/sickness I guess an update is in order. I got unsick... then more sick than I was and now it seems I'm back on the recovering end again. More dr. visits/examinations and adding to the awesome mounting dr. bills that I've come to look forward to in my time of brokeness and need. Have no fear! I trudge forward with moderate optimism and positive thoughts!

I finally got Foxxy Shot the way I wanted. Hopefully the pictures will be done in time for a proper submission. I also had a shoot planned for tomorrow though I'm unsure if I'll be able to make it since my tummy has been off and I don't feel 100% confident walking/standing for long periods of time. Who knows though! Yesterday I couldn't sit up for more than 20 mins. at a time so maybe tomorrow I'll be feeling ready to run a marathon. At least that's what I hope for.

I've missed a fuck ton of camming this week. I'm sorry about that... my wallet is also sorry but I got to semi-catch up on a back log of gaming that stretches across the Andromeda and beyond.

On a positive note I got to dance before my super crash into the sick place (yet again). . . hopefully everything can be resheduled and I can get back to many updates for zivity/diverxity/whatever the hell else I need to do to avoid destitution and mental break down.

Thanks for all the kindness and kind words during this time period. No thanks for all the creepy creeptasticness like this guy

and... this guy


^--- and that guy

I could go on for hours sharing these (and left to my own devices I might... expect a harty shit talking vlog on my clips store in the coming weeks as they provide an amazing cathartic and theraputic experience w/out bloodshed and something something dramatics insert fancy words for entertainment value)

I know I make it SOOOOOO hard for people to not be creepy but the pay off would be that I don't block you and we can continue to share in witty banter and fun! I know there's a stereotype that we're all hard up idiots not good enough to finish colledge and shit (maybe that's halfway true) but still... Cam girls are as diverse as the ever flowing sea of non cam girls... some are smart as fuck, some are dumb as door knobs. Some are arrogant w/ no real reason to be.... some modest and adorable.... let's not lump everyone together...

I think this is all I can muster for the moment! I hope you've enjoyed the update and take it as no real representation of who I am but a glimpse into the mind of a mentally depraved individual whose dependence on sarcasm has far exceeded normal perameters. Can only be contained by constructive truth and more words than "that is hot" "hot ass" "booty" or any other mind numbing response to pictures of boobs.... yes I know you like my boobs or else you wouldn't be following me, what's interesting to any woman worthy of interest is telling her something she doesn't know, doesn't hear on a regular basis and establishing why you are more than just a dick since I can very well establish why I am more than just a pair of fat filled chest pillows

Happy days!


XoXo

Britney Siren


Sunday, December 14, 2014

update!

Not a ton of new news to report but things seem to be picking up cam wise for the moment. I've got a bit of a head cold and that's been keeping me from doing my foxxy shot in as timely of a manner as I had planned. Hopefully it will get shot this week and some amazing things will be coming your way soon. I'm gonna take a day tomorrow to sleep and be a lazy fat ass for a change.

Pragmatic siren is... accepting the reality of life. Nothing is forever so enjoy it in the moment. Nothing is entitled so treat it like you it's your last day with it or your days may become numbered. Aquantance is easy, closeness is hard... closeness is rare. Need for aquaintenceship fades with age. sometimes it feels as though experiences have shrank my heart two sizes too small but perhaps it's needed for feeling and caring for every misfit that one crosses paths with can create problems.

I still want a pump it up machine... still counting the days until I move...

I can't say that I'm halmark happy but I've accepted life for what it is for the moment.

Here's vlog for le week!


take care out there!

XoXo

Britney Siren

PPS: I've finally ordered larger prints and mailers to send them in. I had a few with me for over a year or so but nothing to mail them in that wouldn't cause damage. If all goes well I should be able to put them up on Ebay in the next coming weeks so do keep an eye out for that. I'm also looking to purchase some t shirt designs from a few artists. I'm waiting a bit until my money evens out to do so... if you're interested feel free to contact me via email

Saturday, December 6, 2014

quick update

I don't have a ton to add this week but I wanted to show you guys a new vlog from youtube. For those of you who really enjoy those videos. It's been a tough past month that I'm hoping will smooth out soon.

Anyway here's a new vlog... cam schedule should remain the same though I did miss last night (sorry about that, I wasn't feeling too great... I'm gonna try to get on today though if my mood doesn't improve in the next few hours I can't promise that either. No one wants to see sad people let alone pay them. Ironically one problem might fix the other at least temporarily but who knows.) I haven't had a lot of hope for anything recently and many of the things that once gave me joy aren't working at the moment.

So this is the down end of things. I sometimes wonder, if anyone is really happy... what that is... :/

Anyway enjoy!

^-- hopefully this will get approved and a new zivity/diverxity set will be up too!

XoXo

Britney Siren

PPS: if you happen to be around the same size (or not) feel free to check out some stuff on my ebay store as well. Everything is super cheap... trying to make a bit of change while freeing up space. I'm also willing to trade multiple items for one item as well (If you're a lady and in the area...)

Saturday, November 29, 2014

A month of visiting the Doctor waaaaaay too much

and stress and more stress. I often wonder if constant stress is the culprit behind much of this sickness (aside from fun medication side effects that only subside with pot and quick wit... moderate wit does nothing to vanquish these dastardly foes!)

I don't have a ton to add... Lately I've been trying to learn to relax which has only given me more reasons to stress which ends in this super cycle of worry, try to relax, more problems pop up and repeat.

I've fleshed out a five day cam shedule that I'll be sticking to from now on.... like a real working adult! My hope is that if I stick to it... they will cum and if they cum I will never be in such a financial hole ever again! I've been broke before but this is the first time I'm sure that I will certainly overdraft paying rent in... at least a year or so. Perhaps I've bitten off more than I can chew? If I could leave and live somewhere in the remote no where maybe I would. As much as I like the convinience of my big city... as much as it is home... it is stressful living here. hoping that fleshing out a gameplan will help me in the near future to handle all these bills without sure fire break down and to have a little tiny bit left over to do something fun with.

Fun stuff.... like Pump it up which costs excess money with the bus trip and game playing and sometimes food eating will have to go on hold for a bit. If someone bought me a damn machine for christmas that'd be awesome. May neighbors would hate it and I'd be thrilled to be able to combat the kennel noises from bellow... WIN WIN!

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the dreaded christmas presents thing... and if I don't have enough for it I'm not going to try to stress myself getting things either. I have to make sure I'm ok before I can go thinking about everyone else.

Other than that I've been trying to get on this cosplay site submission deadline but I don't think I'll make it in time. I can't seem to find the log in info and they haven't really gotten back to me with that either which is kinda bleh...

I really wanna get over this current money hurdle... and start doing the things I set out to do....

*Shedule as of 11/29/14*

Monday         (rest)
Tuesday     (photos or rest)
Wednesday     7pm - 10pm (cams)
Thursday     7pm - 10pm (cams)
Friday         7pm - 10pm (cams)
Saturday    11am - 3pm (streamate)Sunday        11am - 3pm (streamate)

I'll try to find my cams link at some point... why cams and not streamate? Uh... Rebuilding streamate traffic during the week might be difficult for me at the moment... If it absolutely doesn't work out I'll see about adding more days to streamate in the evening and less to cams.

I guess that's enough for now... thanks giving was good, life is ok... just gotta get caught up on the fun random bill surprises of this month

also if ya can check out the butt load of crap I have on ebay for super cheap consumption. Not only would you be helping to get me out of a hole, you'd be getting crap for really cheap and helping me make room for more ridiculous crap... the circle of life... completed.

XoXo

Britney Siren







Saturday, November 15, 2014

It's been another while since an update

So what's going on? *cues turtles song from PIU* uh well I'm getting over being really sick and a pretty horrid bout with depression. It's still an issue for me even though most days I'm pretty good. This was... well the worse kinda triple punching from all directions that I've had in a while. I think I was trying to do too much at once, take on all the weight of bills, life, and various other mental stressors alone w/out giving myself a break and it was bleeding into other areas of my life. Good news is I feel about back to normal... I've returned back to a regular work out schedule (thank goodness as that's one of the few things that helps to snap me back into a regular mood). I'm working on going outside and socializing rather than staying indoors for days at a time w/out seeing sunlight and the weird social anxiety that I have has been, easier to manage lately. Maybe I'm getting used to seeing ppl and realizing that not everyone is out to kill me like the little green men in my head keep telling me. Stop that green men or I'll destroy you with the little green plants that the dr. gave me... *teehee*

School... has been put on a slight hiatus. At least until I take care of some more dental work that needs to get done. My tooth pain has returned and it will only get worst/I was due for a check up and cleaning last month but didn't go because of financial issues. I realize that frankly there will always be financial issues but there doesn't have to be pain constantly or in spurts. Hopefully I don't need another tooth extraction and I can work on getting a few more badly needed fillings.... then get the old terrible one's replaced and finally braces (which I'm sure will be a hit with the ladies :P lol)

I've been doing a lot of self sets and less shooting with other ppl. I think the process of finding someone to shoot and whether or not it will come out the way that I want or even in a usable fashion is highly stressful. As much as I enjoy working with others sometimes I need to take a step back and access  what whether the benefits are there. Sometimes they are and other times I'm left with things that I cannot use for anything which makes me sad in the pants because my fridge gets empty and I hunger for the food of humans.

And there was USPF (nationals for a little game called pump it up). I won last year... did not this year. I could say that being sick and depressed all week had an adverse effect as well as being incredibly nervous and the abundance of humans in the room/the stream working this year increasing my nervous factor 10 fold. But even without that I don't think I would've won. I hadn't been playing much before that, been getting into a life rut and not exercising and was on a physical decline. It was said by someone whose really awesome and hopefully not reading this but that they learned more from losses than wins. I can say that it's made me want to be better... and a little disappointed that I was so spent on things that shouldn't have been a problem. I couldn't remember what speed mods to use... I couldn't remember shit lol.  So I plan on becoming more active with this and my other gaming loves... namely the fighting game community stuffs. I'm incredibly bad at KOF right now. I can only play decent with King at the moment. My second (Mature) is taking some time to remember the basic combos I used to be able to pull off and what moves to use. My third... keeps fucking changing randomly but I would really like to learn to use Elizabeth. There is something unique about the way she plays and it would be nice to learn to play with that kind of character. I think it goes completely against what I'm used to doing... she's not really rush down, she seems more defensive and I like that.

I hope to do more cosplay stuff for site submission soon! We shall see but at least on my end I finally finished my weird hairs so that's out of the way.

Today is a good day. I hope to return to you on a similar note!

Also for now my cam schedule will remain around 11am - 3pm (I usually end up popping on earlier... 10:30 ish and staying for 3 or so hrs so I might leave earlier but that's about the general time to expect me) weekends. If I do more than that I stress myself out so I'm not even going to try. I'll focus the rest of the week on completing videos and pic sets/editing and getting gigs offline and what not!

So thanks for reading and stuff...

XoXo

Britney Siren

**Twitter -- Ebay -- Clips 4 sale  -- Images 4 sale --Streamate Chat **

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

It's been a while, it's always been a while

So what's to update since we last had our little talk. I won a pump it up tournament! Now many of the three folks who read this all the way through are probably thinking wtf is that? Well it's a dance game (think DDR but with more arrows). I'm not sure why I won but it was kinda nice. Considering I'm not feeling the best this week and I'm not sure that I will attend nationals as a result (which saddens me more than I can put into words but I don't think I would be of any use to anyone with the way that I feel currently)

I also had a shoot with D. W Kim sometime last week. The images came out pretty good though I do have a few small gripes and I tend to have this gripe with most ppl who don't shoot full body or from multiple angels and folks who cut off limbs. It always makes me wonder why bring a full outfit. As much as I sorta enjoy shooting with others it's not to the point where I have to. Often I don't get what I wanted out of the shoot and I don't make any money so it's treating my job as a hobby that I can afford to do so that my imagnary hubby can have new pictures to jack off to or some shit like that. It's frustrating. Is it only in my mind that I deserve to be compensated for what I offer? I'm not a mutant, I have an alright face and I can even crack a smile or grimace here and there... for a time my solution was to self shoot for those things but I do lack the technical know how and equipment as well as space to fully do what I'd like. So I feel as though I'm in a now win scenario where I'll continue to make less and less until I'm thrown into the throws of near homelessness again. Perhaps the fear of returning home to a broken house with broken people and ultimately the loss of freedom sanity and being out of family's violent drama script will some how propel me into some sort of oportunity. Frankly I have no fucking clue but today I'm applying to another casting company and hoping something comes from it. I'm at the point where I'm considering working fast food again just to get regular income for a time (as I and many who are close to me know I probably cannot work a normal job for long without losing my shit or having tremendous emotional backlash)

I do enjoy submitting things for free and getting rejected... rejection is a part of life isn't it.... bla bla fucking bla

I took an assessment test (finally) last week too. I did about as well as I thought I would. Considering the recent money issues I'm not sure how to proceed. I can't get financial aid because I owe a loan from years ago so... I might not be able to afford more than a class, maybe two and that's if I forgo doing anything else remotely extra and perhaps cut back on some of my food intake.

I'm contemplating quitting webcam. I've seen other models do this and just focus on their video stores. I don't get the same level of stress and general resentment toward the human race when creating videos especially since most requests are simple and things I already like to do. Very few are weird and specific and things I absolutely hate and have no desire to do and usually when those come up I just don't do it. Though I'd have to really refocus and figure out how to make the damn store more profitable if I were to do this. As it stands I don't make enough off of all three of my combind video stores, an image store, ebay and the get free image sets sites to support myself in this city. Webcam felt worth it when I was making enough the stress and sometimes asinine conversation and requests were worth dealing to get to the good stuff... money and conversation wise. Lately few regulars find me either because I'm hardly on or their schedules have changed or perhaps a bit of both. I don't even know if I should bother trying to put much into it anymore.... it's become routine, boring and soul sucking. For every respectful, paying and enjoyable person ther are 10 more who will never pay... will be rude and will troll the whole time. I will keep my time to weekends until well... either the other stores pick up or until I find a real job, then I will probably quite entirely for a while

I guess I should end this on some sort of positive note. Halloween was fun and the following saturday was too! I got to go to comikaze (still too broke to buy anything but still fun) Watched a few interesting pannels and saw tons of amazing cosplay that I actually recognized which I can't say that's the norm for the usual Anime Expo crowd. Also more children dressed up and in general more regular nice mellow folks walking around. I'm not sure what it is about anime fans or cons or perhaps the sheer size makes people weird as fuck but I got none of that vibe here. I was so impressed and pleased that I'm considering coming next year and dressing up. I didn't want to this time due to cold and of course dressing up at anime expo was extremely draining to someone who tires out on too much social interaction of the casual assortment. I didn't have to worry about possible awkard interactions with ppl who I've had issue with in the past (which usually turns into weird looks from across the room b/c I totally still give a shit about YOU when I got bills and shit to pay... I often wonder if some of these people pay to live where they are to have time to still be so fucking retarded).

So I guess that's about it. If I have successfully alienated you... that's cool. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm going to take my protein pill and hope for the best out there... and you should do the same. This topsy turvy life... this roller coaster... it's a bit much at times. I'd like to get off this ride and stay on winnie the poo... it's colorful but predictable. Now weird drops and rises... just one level... I really want my finances to become that way. It's the last real stressor I have in my life... though I'm sure this is true for everyone. Actually not everyone, not anyone who has a stable home base that they can return to should they fail and remain in relative comfort. For anyone who comes from a family of crazy people who can't really help you beyond providing a roof that isn't safe becasue they refuse to cut off dangerous people from entering that home and stealing or attacking you... over crowded, noisy... dismal place. I can't go back there...

One last thing. If I'm not camming anymore don't ask me for additional info so you can "keep in contact" if I wanna keep in contact I'll tell you... ESPECIALLY if you don't buy anything. You just blurt out shit regardless of how I may feel like every other person in the world. I don't owe you shit, you don't owe me shit but let's be real about it. The people who I'd remotely want to still talk to I already fucking talk to cause they haven't' reduced me to a collective of orifices to please their weird fucking fantasies and delusions and SHOULD they want to do that they always pay. In life, in all relationships there must be an equal exchange or resentment rears it's ugly head...


^--- a video of wasteland weekend cars... cause why the fuck not


^--- a pic from the D. W. Kim shoot... see what I mean about limbs being cut off... not a god look... it makes me look like an amputee. But I guess you do get what you pay for don't ya? 


XoXo

Britney Siren

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Sunday morning...

Fighting the urge to go back into groggy sleep mode and contemplating the best way to tackle today. I could work, edit some videos, run around naked and sing the safety dance over and over again perhaps? I'm in a mental limbo, limba, limberee, limberahahahahaha.

As happy as I am for figuring out well what I need to do to get a foot ahead or at the very least some level foundation, I'm equally saddened by situations of those close to me. I worry and I worry pretty hard. When I see loved ones I may mention missing them in passing and neglect to mention the worry on my shoulders. Not being in a position to do more is a very painful one to be in. I wish I had millions, hell even thousands of dollars... a thousand dollars... to just help. I know that if I cannot help myself I for damn sure cannot help anyone else. I know this b/c for the past few months I've been thinking about everyone else but me, what I need to do. I feel that if I got into this mindset a little sooner perhaps I'd be in a different position now. I guess that does little good now other than to well avoid that sort of thing in the future.

I could blame a lot of outside forces for why I'm not better off than I am but the truth is I've had chances and either let others influence my decisions too much or was too immature to do better things with money in the past. Now at this ripe old crones age :P I guess the desire to go out on a daily basis and be a drunkard has all but run it's course. I guess everyone has their "party" section of their life before being burned out on it and realizing this stuff can wait...

I'm at a place where I'm feeling less regret and apologizing less for who I am and how I function. Unless of course I do something incredibly fucked... I will ya know apologize for that. I don't like hurting those I love but ya get what I mean.

I've accepted the fact that some people will hate you before you've uttered one word to them. With others it takes a bit more time but you're just not meant to mesh well. Some will hate you at first and then come around once they realize their prejudices are horribly wrong. Others will not. Some will shift back and forth like with whatever wind seems to be most popular at the time. Those awesome few if you're lucky to have them will be your foundation, support and salvation in good times and bad... the one's you'll fight drunken men in clubs who like to go into the bathroom when said friends are draining their drainage areas w/out much regard for whether you'll actually end up getting hurt or not b/c you love them and you won't have anyone being a dick head to them on your watch.

I don't wish to be younger. I'm reminded by younger siblings of how painful these ages are... oh god the hormonal crap... the figuring shit out. I'm so glad to be done with that. I'm not saying there's not more growing to be done but I think I've got a great base of operations and it even has a command center that's working fairly well.

So I'm done rambling for now. My heart is in a few different places currently. I hope I have sufficiently expressed that.

I'm looking forward to improvement and doing more positive awesome things in the future!

For now it is time to eat bad frozen foods and perhaps have a long walk to a short bank to deposit short funds and see where things go from there.



XOXO

Britney Siren

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

thongs and updates on life

Just a preview... full clip on extralunchmoney.com or clips4sale.com

A bit of a personal update as well seems to be in order :)

For those who care I'm mostly moved out of my family's place. I'm working on getting my own dedicated internet line so that I can bother you all more often as well. Working on getting my ebay store back on the up and up and getting a new cam so I can make clearer videos for you guys!

Other less urgent news... my copy of street fighter 4 totally crapped out on me a few days ago. I'm a little sad b/c I was ready (well not super ready but looking forward to...) having my first few matches online soon. I know the only way to get better is to fight some human opponents. I played one at the arcade a week ago though I still get frightened when someone challenges me. Frankly I still need to learn the timing a bit better.

I think things will work out. I want to forge some stronger family ties with my siblings and not leave them in the dark about whether I'm dead or alive. I want to have more nerdy time... eventually I'd like to get my own apartment. (I'm in a roomate situation currently which is better since I can work from home now but I'm also draining their internet hence needing to get my own line haha)

I hope I can shoot a bit in the next week or so once I'm more settled and yeah I'm just trying to take things a day at a time and not freak out entirely at the change.

I hope you are all doing well... and taking care of yourselves. If I don't get a chance to get online today due to all the excitement or well waiting for the folks to install my own line... know that I'm working on it and hopefully this g string teaser will be something to hold you guys over until I figure things out.

Much love and thanks for the support and encouragement I've received over the past few weeks. Thank you all so much!

XOXO

Britney Siren

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

New set on Images4sale


^by Dw Kim
Don't forget to check it out... fullsizes and the like

I'll also be around to chat all week and I'm selling off random items on ebay. (side widget) If you're interested in used items/clothing please check out my extra lunch money profile (also on side widget to your right) or email me directly. I'm also available for custom vids/pics too! If you're a los angeles area photographer and would like to shoot feel free to email me as well at the link above!

See some of you on Streamate later today! The widget on the top will turn all green like when I'm online! Feel free to fave me to get alerts when I'm online!

Thanks so much!

XOXO

Britney Siren

ice box PREVIEW dance no sound preview safe for work Britney Siren

Sunday, July 28, 2013

A new video for you!


If you'd like to get the full video it and other videos are available on clips4sale and Extra Lunch Money

If you'd like to discuss getting your own personal custom video shoot me an Email
Links are at the end of the video!

I'll write a more formal post when I get the chance. Also don't forget to check out the sidebar for some personal stuff I'm selling on ebay to cover moving expenses and to free up space. Otherwise it'll be all sad and sit in storage not being used or possibly damaged by careless miscreants.

I hope this weekend is treating you all well.

Mucho love!

Britney Siren

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

What's goin' on... what's goin on

It's been a while since I've sat down and had some time to sort thoughts with you all. Here's what's going on in my little world. I guess in times like these, when things are filled with an air of calm I don't feel as much of a need to sift through thoughts.

Rest assured despite some set backs as life will inevitably always have a few in the way I'm doing pretty good. Working on moving. Recovered from sickness and I'll probably start getting ready to chat with a few of you once I get done clickety-clacking at the keyboard.

Home life has leveled out a bit... not saying things have changed much but my perception has changed. I think to myself I can be stressed about this or move on. Things have certainly been worst. I've been in some pretty sketch living situations and this is NOT one of those. I do feel safe (mostly) and that my things are safe save people using things w/out permission. The infractions are so minor that it isn't quite worth getting peeved about entirely.

I've missed a few shoots due to sickness (sadly). I want to be able to do it all but physically I'm no spring chicken who can run around on all cylinders for very long before my health tells me to sit the fuck down. I need to learn how to rest properly. To help with this I've been allocating computer usage time though all this has done is made me look for work in an uncomfortable way via cell phone lol. Perhaps I should allocate phone usage time as well?

I went out dancing for the first time in a long while. It takes me a while to feel the music at  a level where I'm moving freely and feeling nothing but the energy of the moment. I think part of me lives for those times. Modeling and dancing does something wonderful for me mentally and physically... perhaps spiritually? It's one of the few times I feel in tune and connected with a mass quantity of people that I'd otherwise feel very disjointed from.

Speaking of spirituality... I had someone ask about my religious beliefs. This is not a subject I'm comfortable discussing with any old person. I'm not sure what their angle was per say but a series of random questions or actions that I wasn't OK with was met with "I'm not nice, or I'm mean" which left me annoyed and confused. If a person tells me they aren't comfortable with having a certain topic of discussion I drop it... I NEVER want to make someone feel discomfort nor can I force this comfort to the forefront. I wouldn't want to do that anyway. I might not be "nice" but I did quite  a bit of tongue biting and word holding b/c of this and other questions. My honesty can be biting and I didn't want to cause offence where there was no need for it either... for this I'm a bit proud as younger me would've went off on many ranty rants... save this I suppose.

If my body tells me to not be comfortable with you on that level (which is a pretty deep level) I listen. There are reasons why and you should listen to what your instincts tell you as well. Perhaps  there are motives there that are not obvious to me that I need to shelter myself from. Perhaps you're not trust worthy, and rest assured if you have a penis for the most part we will not get past a certain level of comfort UNLESS we're dating. I'm sure there are valid reasons for that as well.

I'm a sensitive person when it comes to those immediately in my life so I do keep most people out of that area. If you're overly negative or constantly talking about other people in a negative light it also makes me raise eyebrows. Not to say that I assume I'm the topic of discussion when not around nor do I care but that sort of talk does nothing to improve the quality of my existence. Negativity doesn't make me feel better on a grand scale... it needs to be dispersed and released so positive energy can take over but constant focus on what one doesn't have or putting self on pedestal when we are all fucked in some way repels me like two magnets.

I have a shoot this weekend (which hopefully will not be disrupted by some high calamity. I really do want to shoot with this person again) after that I'm going to switch my focus up until I've settled moving and such.

I'm excited that SUMMERSLAM is fucking coming up really soon!! I hope I can go this year and I really want to look into getting tickets to the raw that Monday before it (I think it's going to be in Anaheim though I'm not sure) Wasteland weekend is also coming up and I'm very unsure if I'll be able to go this year. Met some really kind people out there last time so I hope that I will be able to go though the adult in me says to take care of business first... fun time will be there when you're ready.

Lots of comics to be read, some games to be practiced at my leisure and friends to bother at random times with hugs and pallets of bacon.

Life is pretty good... :)



by Jimmy P

Full set is available on Zivity and will soon be available for download via Extra Lunch Money and Images 4 Sale!

XOXO

Britney Siren

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Time gets shorter...

... days seem to never have enough hours (or far too many depending on how said day is going) It's been a bit of time since I've made a real post so I thought I'd whip something up before I start my workout stuff and dissipation into the online void.

Nothing much has changed on the home front. While the future holds certain inevitabilities and uncertainties I'm excited to march forward in it's cataclysm of random and not so random events. It can be difficult to focus and make oneself work when under extreme emotional direst... Most of the time I'm pretty happy and focused on what I need to do and then there are those days that I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed or do much. I won't pretend that life is perfect, that I don't need mending... if it were or I were I wouldn't be human. I think realizing these flaws and even the attempt at making life better or at being a better person can do so much good. Though perfection can never be achieved per say I don't think the effort is a waste of time.

In the past I've wasted a lot of time focusing on what I don't have, what I cannot become and those who would laugh at my being hit by a semi-truck and dying on the side of the road. Focusing on those who bring positive energy can make one forget about those things that are lacking or make you better prepared to tackle those things.

For those who dislike me (as I'm sure you're following me more than those who adore me, dislike, hatred isn't too far from love... very potent stuff) I ask... why? How long? What good does this serve? What good does it serve to hate or keep feeding into a cancer? I don't give thought to anyone who isn't directly in my life until I physically see them or they're mentioned by another party and once that moment has passed so goes the thought.

I don't think anyone is "better" than another. That some are "good" fighting some ultimate "evil" force and we must pick sides to vanquish the ratchets of the world. I believe that people have falling outs for various reasons, usually not one sided at all and that time can deaden the blow of these wounds... b/c if there is any real anger then there is definitely some sort of scar tissue left behind. Sometimes people simply don't mesh well and would be better off only communicating on a casual level... some not at all. Often there are communication issues, projection of personal insecurities and the like that poisons relationships.

I'm guilty of being on both ends of the spectrum and I admit it's still difficult to pinpoint things as they happen. That some people may never get over their issue or talk to you about it to come to a happy medium. I'm OK with that.

I feel like things come and go as they need to. Cherish those who are awesome for the time allotted. Ya never know how much time you have. Life is short and tempers are too. Never be so open to attack but so closed that you're Rapunzel either... right?

If you're still reading this you either hate me very feverishly (which I'm quite flattered by your fiery passion but that energy could be better spent plotting revenge or planning a raid in WOW or something) or you have a great deal of love and warm and fuzzy happy feelings toward me (which I also appreciate and welcome with warm rainbow colored hugs and junk)

"You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you" well if you think it is then it probably was if you're the one person I was thinking about which you in most cases you aren't. TROLOLOLOLOLOLAAA

I suppose this ends my rambling of random thoughts for today.

If you're here for potential shooting possibilities... I haven't set much up for the month since I was afraid of the jury duty monster soooooooooooooo if you'd like to shoot feel free to send me a good ol' fashioned Email. If you're interested in custom products of a sexy nature do click on the side bar for Extra Lunch Money! For Prints Click the Ebay Sidebar widget of FUN!!

I hope that you've all had happy firework time and great anime expo times as well!



^--- by snab photography

XOXO

Britney Siren

PS: If you have been trying to book me for out of town adventures... forgive my phone phobia... Yes I get anxiety over talking to new folks over the phone. I'm working on it I promises!!