Sunday, August 11, 2013

Sunday morning...

Fighting the urge to go back into groggy sleep mode and contemplating the best way to tackle today. I could work, edit some videos, run around naked and sing the safety dance over and over again perhaps? I'm in a mental limbo, limba, limberee, limberahahahahaha.

As happy as I am for figuring out well what I need to do to get a foot ahead or at the very least some level foundation, I'm equally saddened by situations of those close to me. I worry and I worry pretty hard. When I see loved ones I may mention missing them in passing and neglect to mention the worry on my shoulders. Not being in a position to do more is a very painful one to be in. I wish I had millions, hell even thousands of dollars... a thousand dollars... to just help. I know that if I cannot help myself I for damn sure cannot help anyone else. I know this b/c for the past few months I've been thinking about everyone else but me, what I need to do. I feel that if I got into this mindset a little sooner perhaps I'd be in a different position now. I guess that does little good now other than to well avoid that sort of thing in the future.

I could blame a lot of outside forces for why I'm not better off than I am but the truth is I've had chances and either let others influence my decisions too much or was too immature to do better things with money in the past. Now at this ripe old crones age :P I guess the desire to go out on a daily basis and be a drunkard has all but run it's course. I guess everyone has their "party" section of their life before being burned out on it and realizing this stuff can wait...

I'm at a place where I'm feeling less regret and apologizing less for who I am and how I function. Unless of course I do something incredibly fucked... I will ya know apologize for that. I don't like hurting those I love but ya get what I mean.

I've accepted the fact that some people will hate you before you've uttered one word to them. With others it takes a bit more time but you're just not meant to mesh well. Some will hate you at first and then come around once they realize their prejudices are horribly wrong. Others will not. Some will shift back and forth like with whatever wind seems to be most popular at the time. Those awesome few if you're lucky to have them will be your foundation, support and salvation in good times and bad... the one's you'll fight drunken men in clubs who like to go into the bathroom when said friends are draining their drainage areas w/out much regard for whether you'll actually end up getting hurt or not b/c you love them and you won't have anyone being a dick head to them on your watch.

I don't wish to be younger. I'm reminded by younger siblings of how painful these ages are... oh god the hormonal crap... the figuring shit out. I'm so glad to be done with that. I'm not saying there's not more growing to be done but I think I've got a great base of operations and it even has a command center that's working fairly well.

So I'm done rambling for now. My heart is in a few different places currently. I hope I have sufficiently expressed that.

I'm looking forward to improvement and doing more positive awesome things in the future!

For now it is time to eat bad frozen foods and perhaps have a long walk to a short bank to deposit short funds and see where things go from there.


Britney Siren

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

thongs and updates on life

Just a preview... full clip on or

A bit of a personal update as well seems to be in order :)

For those who care I'm mostly moved out of my family's place. I'm working on getting my own dedicated internet line so that I can bother you all more often as well. Working on getting my ebay store back on the up and up and getting a new cam so I can make clearer videos for you guys!

Other less urgent news... my copy of street fighter 4 totally crapped out on me a few days ago. I'm a little sad b/c I was ready (well not super ready but looking forward to...) having my first few matches online soon. I know the only way to get better is to fight some human opponents. I played one at the arcade a week ago though I still get frightened when someone challenges me. Frankly I still need to learn the timing a bit better.

I think things will work out. I want to forge some stronger family ties with my siblings and not leave them in the dark about whether I'm dead or alive. I want to have more nerdy time... eventually I'd like to get my own apartment. (I'm in a roomate situation currently which is better since I can work from home now but I'm also draining their internet hence needing to get my own line haha)

I hope I can shoot a bit in the next week or so once I'm more settled and yeah I'm just trying to take things a day at a time and not freak out entirely at the change.

I hope you are all doing well... and taking care of yourselves. If I don't get a chance to get online today due to all the excitement or well waiting for the folks to install my own line... know that I'm working on it and hopefully this g string teaser will be something to hold you guys over until I figure things out.

Much love and thanks for the support and encouragement I've received over the past few weeks. Thank you all so much!


Britney Siren

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

New set on Images4sale

^by Dw Kim
Don't forget to check it out... fullsizes and the like

I'll also be around to chat all week and I'm selling off random items on ebay. (side widget) If you're interested in used items/clothing please check out my extra lunch money profile (also on side widget to your right) or email me directly. I'm also available for custom vids/pics too! If you're a los angeles area photographer and would like to shoot feel free to email me as well at the link above!

See some of you on Streamate later today! The widget on the top will turn all green like when I'm online! Feel free to fave me to get alerts when I'm online!

Thanks so much!


Britney Siren

ice box PREVIEW dance no sound preview safe for work Britney Siren

Sunday, July 28, 2013

A new video for you!

If you'd like to get the full video it and other videos are available on clips4sale and Extra Lunch Money

If you'd like to discuss getting your own personal custom video shoot me an Email
Links are at the end of the video!

I'll write a more formal post when I get the chance. Also don't forget to check out the sidebar for some personal stuff I'm selling on ebay to cover moving expenses and to free up space. Otherwise it'll be all sad and sit in storage not being used or possibly damaged by careless miscreants.

I hope this weekend is treating you all well.

Mucho love!

Britney Siren

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

What's goin' on... what's goin on

It's been a while since I've sat down and had some time to sort thoughts with you all. Here's what's going on in my little world. I guess in times like these, when things are filled with an air of calm I don't feel as much of a need to sift through thoughts.

Rest assured despite some set backs as life will inevitably always have a few in the way I'm doing pretty good. Working on moving. Recovered from sickness and I'll probably start getting ready to chat with a few of you once I get done clickety-clacking at the keyboard.

Home life has leveled out a bit... not saying things have changed much but my perception has changed. I think to myself I can be stressed about this or move on. Things have certainly been worst. I've been in some pretty sketch living situations and this is NOT one of those. I do feel safe (mostly) and that my things are safe save people using things w/out permission. The infractions are so minor that it isn't quite worth getting peeved about entirely.

I've missed a few shoots due to sickness (sadly). I want to be able to do it all but physically I'm no spring chicken who can run around on all cylinders for very long before my health tells me to sit the fuck down. I need to learn how to rest properly. To help with this I've been allocating computer usage time though all this has done is made me look for work in an uncomfortable way via cell phone lol. Perhaps I should allocate phone usage time as well?

I went out dancing for the first time in a long while. It takes me a while to feel the music at  a level where I'm moving freely and feeling nothing but the energy of the moment. I think part of me lives for those times. Modeling and dancing does something wonderful for me mentally and physically... perhaps spiritually? It's one of the few times I feel in tune and connected with a mass quantity of people that I'd otherwise feel very disjointed from.

Speaking of spirituality... I had someone ask about my religious beliefs. This is not a subject I'm comfortable discussing with any old person. I'm not sure what their angle was per say but a series of random questions or actions that I wasn't OK with was met with "I'm not nice, or I'm mean" which left me annoyed and confused. If a person tells me they aren't comfortable with having a certain topic of discussion I drop it... I NEVER want to make someone feel discomfort nor can I force this comfort to the forefront. I wouldn't want to do that anyway. I might not be "nice" but I did quite  a bit of tongue biting and word holding b/c of this and other questions. My honesty can be biting and I didn't want to cause offence where there was no need for it either... for this I'm a bit proud as younger me would've went off on many ranty rants... save this I suppose.

If my body tells me to not be comfortable with you on that level (which is a pretty deep level) I listen. There are reasons why and you should listen to what your instincts tell you as well. Perhaps  there are motives there that are not obvious to me that I need to shelter myself from. Perhaps you're not trust worthy, and rest assured if you have a penis for the most part we will not get past a certain level of comfort UNLESS we're dating. I'm sure there are valid reasons for that as well.

I'm a sensitive person when it comes to those immediately in my life so I do keep most people out of that area. If you're overly negative or constantly talking about other people in a negative light it also makes me raise eyebrows. Not to say that I assume I'm the topic of discussion when not around nor do I care but that sort of talk does nothing to improve the quality of my existence. Negativity doesn't make me feel better on a grand scale... it needs to be dispersed and released so positive energy can take over but constant focus on what one doesn't have or putting self on pedestal when we are all fucked in some way repels me like two magnets.

I have a shoot this weekend (which hopefully will not be disrupted by some high calamity. I really do want to shoot with this person again) after that I'm going to switch my focus up until I've settled moving and such.

I'm excited that SUMMERSLAM is fucking coming up really soon!! I hope I can go this year and I really want to look into getting tickets to the raw that Monday before it (I think it's going to be in Anaheim though I'm not sure) Wasteland weekend is also coming up and I'm very unsure if I'll be able to go this year. Met some really kind people out there last time so I hope that I will be able to go though the adult in me says to take care of business first... fun time will be there when you're ready.

Lots of comics to be read, some games to be practiced at my leisure and friends to bother at random times with hugs and pallets of bacon.

Life is pretty good... :)

by Jimmy P

Full set is available on Zivity and will soon be available for download via Extra Lunch Money and Images 4 Sale!


Britney Siren

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Time gets shorter...

... days seem to never have enough hours (or far too many depending on how said day is going) It's been a bit of time since I've made a real post so I thought I'd whip something up before I start my workout stuff and dissipation into the online void.

Nothing much has changed on the home front. While the future holds certain inevitabilities and uncertainties I'm excited to march forward in it's cataclysm of random and not so random events. It can be difficult to focus and make oneself work when under extreme emotional direst... Most of the time I'm pretty happy and focused on what I need to do and then there are those days that I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed or do much. I won't pretend that life is perfect, that I don't need mending... if it were or I were I wouldn't be human. I think realizing these flaws and even the attempt at making life better or at being a better person can do so much good. Though perfection can never be achieved per say I don't think the effort is a waste of time.

In the past I've wasted a lot of time focusing on what I don't have, what I cannot become and those who would laugh at my being hit by a semi-truck and dying on the side of the road. Focusing on those who bring positive energy can make one forget about those things that are lacking or make you better prepared to tackle those things.

For those who dislike me (as I'm sure you're following me more than those who adore me, dislike, hatred isn't too far from love... very potent stuff) I ask... why? How long? What good does this serve? What good does it serve to hate or keep feeding into a cancer? I don't give thought to anyone who isn't directly in my life until I physically see them or they're mentioned by another party and once that moment has passed so goes the thought.

I don't think anyone is "better" than another. That some are "good" fighting some ultimate "evil" force and we must pick sides to vanquish the ratchets of the world. I believe that people have falling outs for various reasons, usually not one sided at all and that time can deaden the blow of these wounds... b/c if there is any real anger then there is definitely some sort of scar tissue left behind. Sometimes people simply don't mesh well and would be better off only communicating on a casual level... some not at all. Often there are communication issues, projection of personal insecurities and the like that poisons relationships.

I'm guilty of being on both ends of the spectrum and I admit it's still difficult to pinpoint things as they happen. That some people may never get over their issue or talk to you about it to come to a happy medium. I'm OK with that.

I feel like things come and go as they need to. Cherish those who are awesome for the time allotted. Ya never know how much time you have. Life is short and tempers are too. Never be so open to attack but so closed that you're Rapunzel either... right?

If you're still reading this you either hate me very feverishly (which I'm quite flattered by your fiery passion but that energy could be better spent plotting revenge or planning a raid in WOW or something) or you have a great deal of love and warm and fuzzy happy feelings toward me (which I also appreciate and welcome with warm rainbow colored hugs and junk)

"You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you" well if you think it is then it probably was if you're the one person I was thinking about which you in most cases you aren't. TROLOLOLOLOLOLAAA

I suppose this ends my rambling of random thoughts for today.

If you're here for potential shooting possibilities... I haven't set much up for the month since I was afraid of the jury duty monster soooooooooooooo if you'd like to shoot feel free to send me a good ol' fashioned Email. If you're interested in custom products of a sexy nature do click on the side bar for Extra Lunch Money! For Prints Click the Ebay Sidebar widget of FUN!!

I hope that you've all had happy firework time and great anime expo times as well!

^--- by snab photography


Britney Siren

PS: If you have been trying to book me for out of town adventures... forgive my phone phobia... Yes I get anxiety over talking to new folks over the phone. I'm working on it I promises!!

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Quick update!

Just wanted to give a heads up! My ghoul girls set has gone live... so if you like Cosplay, Costume and awesome then go ahead and check it out... (ya know by clicking that link up there)

I'll have a full on entry at some point when I get some more free time to be random and emotional :P


Britney Siren

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Yada ma splada, pradazada yada

uh... just clownin' around!



Britney Siren

Friday, June 14, 2013

It's been a while

Schedule Update!

*my camming dates may fall when I'm free, If you'd like live updates do follow me on twitter or fave me on Streamate*


16th Hlwdwinkola Shoot
19th Leonard Thompson Shoot
20th Shattered Vortex Shoot
22nd Steam Circus Meet-Up Group Shoot w/ Alt-Error LA
25th Jimmy King Shoot
29th Shooting Range Meet-Up
30th Movie night


1st- 7th (Jury Duty Week *sigh*)
4th-7th Anime Expo 2013
10th Due West Shoot
27th *tentative Comic book shoot

**warning rambling half hungry rant alert...**

A few plans have melded together and others not so much. Sometimes I wonder will all this working itself out (which means endlessly working myself into exhaustion) will end up working itself out.

Let's see what have I experienced since we last had a large cluster fuck of words smashing violently at your face? Oh yes I remember yesterday I got some message saying "if you believe that the only people who deserve your conversation must pay for it then we shouldn't be talking". Other such messages by the great Fetlife Baron are "zomfg you took how many months to answer my message" Mind you there are messages that are buried so deep that they've probably been there over a year that I'll probably never get to but if it's not answered that day people bitch at me about it or not being on the site that much bla bla blobbity bla

Here's some honesty for your eye socket... If we aint fucking... I owe you nothing. Don't worry the opposite is true, you owe me absolutely nothing. I don't demand that anyone come to my shows but if you're into that sort of thing then do come talk to me cause I want to have fun and not starve to death or be a homeless person (though how this battle will actually fair has much left to be desired at this point since but I'll save that discussion for a later time).

I never said in order to talk to me you MUST pay but if you want me on your time then you do have to pay. This is not to mention the countless folks that I talk to simply because I enjoy talking to them... am I going to indulge in their weird fart fetish that I have zero interest in when I'm sitting here taking the bus and eating ramen noodles? No I most certainly am not... you're gonna have to pay for that. I'm not even going to lie to you and tell you that I give a shit about fart fetishes (haha give a shit)

I believe I'm pretty straight forward to those who ask. It clearly says on my Fetlife profile and others something to the tune of "here to find work and I don't mind penpals" which is pretty much the truth. Have I met folks from the site... sure have. Am I actively looking to meet random ppl who might be killers and would serve to complicate this weird little introverts life? Fuck no!

There are other less sexually driven avenues that I'd rather explore first on the off chance that I might meet ppl who aren't trying to demand things from me and will treat me like a human being.

In my work it's me and yet it isn't... it's me on steroids and pixie sticks with non of the baggage. It takes a lot of work to not mention what I'm dealing with in my personal life. To have folks come at me with such rudeness when I'm taking out the little time that I have trying to find wifi spots b/c things are sketch at home in general... is not something I need.

So... all I ask is if you don't like dont' talk to me, if you do then please be polite and respectful and I shall do the same.

I've had some very irritating family issues in the recent past pop up... I don't let them interfere with my work but realize that YOU are not the apex of the universe. I've been doing things this way for a few years now. If you REALLY wanted to get to know me, you wouldn't make stupid jokes about not getting back to you quick enough and when I explain that I'm busy get offended when OTHER PPL HAVE SAID THE SAME THING AND I CAN'T MEASURE YOU ASSHOLE SARCASM FROM A FUCKING MESSAGE!

I'm a human, I have feelings, I have a life, I have problems like anyone else...

Another random note that is a BIG problem. I get that Fetlife is a fetish site but what I don't get is why people put other folks photos on their profile when you're social networking and why someone would come to me asking about friendship and getting to know me on a personal level with a picture of your asshole, dick, cumming on someones face or some other shit that I honestly don't want to see. This is not to say that these things in and of themselves are offensive to me... they are not but someones attractiveness and even if they are sexy as the Original Uhura I don't think an Asshole should ever be the first impression that you leave to someone... have a pic of your face so that you're seen as a human being and not an asshole.

I dig the site for a few folks on there that I've be-friended who have always been kind to me even before I started using it to look for work and have been patient up until now. It's the self entitled pricks who feel like I should do tons of things for free for them w/out any consideration for what the fuck my profile actually says and that maybe, just maybe I have a life and issues to deal with that are personal and beyond their knowledge and that to do so for free with me not getting anything out of the exchange... NO THAT'S NOT ALWAYS MONEY, but you can't be boring, have grammar that would put a pre-schooler to shame, nothing remotely interesting about you and have me jump for joy when your conversation does absolutely nothing for me...

I'm sure I will lose some followers etc over this... or maybe I won't but I can't do anything but be myself. My main reason for being on the Internet at all is work first. I do very little socializing here, in fact my Real Name is all but nonexistent on the Internet. That should say something.

You get back what you put in... I owe you nothing, You owe me nothing... connection happens naturally. If you're unhappy with what you get from me then don't interact with me or discuss the problem, Can't come to a compromise? Part ways...

^---by Henry Neves

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Some things worth mentioning

I think a good place to start is a schedule update! At least it'll be up-to-date here :D


25th Alberto Bevacqua Shoot
27th Onesohi Zivity shoot
29th Jimmy P Shoot
30th Streamate 4pm - 8pm pacific time 


1st (tentative) Live Draw Event??
8th (Tentative Shoot)

As you can see June is pretty open so if you're in the Los Angeles Area and would like to book a shoot feel free to email me here Especially if you have a zivity account/shoot video, trade is available for zivity/video that I can use for Extra Lunch Money!

If you're interested in voting as a fan or video/custom requests also feel free to click those respective links

Up to date updates are always available via TWITTER


So other than that what's been going on? I had a bit of a scare in the family but other than that things are going relatively well. I felt very appreciated in chat this past thursday. I'm so glad that folks still wanted to talk despite my less than premium cam quality. I do hope to improve this very soon. Just have to keep saving up for that apartment of my very own!! There's a big maybe on hoping on streamate monday! Keep your eyes peeled to twitter to see if that happens!!!

Also new signed prints available for this week on Ebay! So bid to get yours! Discounts on shipping for multiple photos are also available! I want to get some old clothing on there but I'm going to wait until I have a place again, currently my things are scattered across storage and random folks houses so it might be a little difficult to find out where it all is (poop on me)

Things with friends have been at an all time high... thank you all for the support during my crisis. I'm not going to go into anymore detail than that. Just thank you so much!

Debating whether I should upload all these random youtube videos I recorded or whether my views have changed so much that they're irrelevant... Probably should just let them rot on my hard drive or delete some of them :)

OH Um for those who are interested in texting fun you can do so here at this nifty little link! Ensuring that I answer you with the up most speed and awesomeness :D

I guess that's about it! OH finished Tomb Raider last week and I've been getting slightly better at Insect Princess (cave shooter). Hoping to have a wee bit of gaming time over the weekend inbetween shooting and this weeks movie night... or I could curl up into a ball of tired and get some rest for a change :P

What are you guys thinking about the Xbox ONE?!! Personally I think it's a bit too early to tell. I normally wait a good year or two before I decide which direction to go with console wise. After all systems have been out, showed what games they'll have, how strong their community will be...what features will stand the test of time and which will fall to the way side. I'm excited to see what direction things will go in. I may forgo all of this and just save up for the Vectrex that I've always wanted... or get my sega genesis back or other retro systems. I miss blowing into those cartridges and the endless wires that come with them...

Though in the grande scheme of apartment hunting and still learning to drive my bucket of a car this is all pretty low priority I suppose.


Britney Siren

If you haven't checked out this full set you can do so here at the link! Vote if you like it to support set making! Incentives are available for voting!! 

If you like any of the other sets you can vote there too!!


Monday, May 13, 2013

I've played 14 hrs of gaming this past week, hooray for me...and stuff

Wanted to give a little schedule update... it's been a while since I've done that (sorry I've been a bit all over the place lately)


15th cinephotographer shoot (zivity)

16th streamate (4:30 - 8pm) tentative s/n britneysiren

17th kinklive (12pm - 3pm)

20th super wink shoot (zivity)

21st xposure 101 (zivity)

24th kinklive (noon - 3pm)

31st kinklive (noon - 3pm)

If you'd like to book me please feel free to email me here

I also have a few new prints up on Ebay so check those out if you like

Other than that... my birthday was last week. I must say that it's been the most time I've had to myself in a long while. I expect this week to be a bit more busy but more shooting than I'm used to. Something has to go in a different direction than it has gone in the past... I guess the whole studio situation has pushed me to get back into shooting like I should've been doing eons ago :)

I'll also be giving streamate le old test run. I found a place to work from though I'm guessing I won't have all the fancy gadgets and doodads from before considering I still haven't learned to drive my car and can't tote giant weiners and such on the bus on a daily basis. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up a couple more incognito one's and some oils and can share some lovely conversation and good cheer with you all.

I'm not leaving kink either but I have significantly reduced my time there as it's been a slow start and I can't justify spending so much time traveling and not making up enough to cover my food and busfare for that day let alone a full week... perhaps I don't have enough fetishy attire or something beyond my understanding but I'll still be there once a week.

As it stands now one day at kink and depending on how many shoots I have during the week a day for streamate?

I haven't worked out the kinks just yet (ho ho ho the kinks, I'm a regular insert some funny person's name whose actually funny.) but I'll figure it all out.

I'd like to give another big thanks for all the birthday gifts and well wishes that have come from all of you kind people. I really appreciate it... srsly *hugs*

I guess that's all I can muster for now... enjoy a random picture for your viewing pleasure

by peter heid


britney siren

Saturday, April 27, 2013

If you close your eyes you can listen for turbulence

So what's been going on lately? I've returned back to to do cam shows (In case you hadn't noticed that just yet). It's been well, different. I guess I have to expect some adjustment time. Different site, different features (or lack of other features) etc. While I did run into a couple of familiar s/n's most of the folks I was used to talking to have disappeared which can be expected. I'm not going to sugar coat it... income drop between this site and using streamate has been very noticeable. This was a huge worry in returning to this site and a major factor in why I stopped working here in the first place. I know there are a few obvious reasons for this. New to the site again means working from the very bottom. No shoots on kinks other sites so there's a pretty huge chance that no one knows who the hell I am. Some lack of key features found on virtually every site on the web. (cam2cam, phone, 1on1 chat, voyeur  models ability to fully block any troll at will not just kick them for the day, I mean really it would be nice to not be called nigger by the same asshole a week after their "ban" every few weeks :/) Some connectivity issues, not sure if it's the site or the members but a good deal of my privates have resulted in... well awkward disconnects which wasn't even an issue even when working from home on a dsl connection. The traffic on the site is well slow and it's PAINFUL trying to start a normal conversation with anyone there and being called a slut upon room entering is kinda insulting. Granted it says "this bla bla bla slut multiple orgasms" and most tweets mentioning models is followed by slut or whore etc. No I didn't write that and I don't believe I have the power to change the text either.

I don't know if this particular site fits my particular style of camming in general. While I am into kinky things... I do like to keep free chat as a cool hang out where people can get to know me and keep the sexual talk to a virtual minimum. I feel like that should be saved for private. Many expect for me to do hardcore shit in the free chat. While I'm not sure if this is allowed in free chat (most likely it is) it's not something I'm big on doing. Folks who aren't paying shouldn't be seeing such things. Plus the fact that the cam giving a peek at the shows a little bit too often IMO but meh...

I do recall asking someone for advice on how to improve shows and such and they simply mentioned things I had already been doing. I don't know that this is a site that I can get the same or nearly same stable pay that I was receiving at the other. I'm a bit worried but I'm not letting that stifle me into inaction. It seems that this should be a time to focus a bit more on doing photo shoots again. I've missed doing them and it has certainly been a long while since I've done one (about a month ago, a pretty huge gap for me).

I've noticed that I will often not take risks because things are not optimal. Things will never be optimal and if I don't try then it's almost certain that failure will be eminent.

While I wouldn't necessarily leave the site once I got my home set up back; I don't think this kind of site can support me doing this full time as I have been doing for the past few years.

I guess I'll try different times, different things and see what catches...

Also not allowed to wear any logos etc... so that knocks out a good percentage of my wardrobe which creates another issue and another venue for conversation building (kinda easier to build a conversation around gaming if I can actually show my game collection/xbox to people... guess I can always bring my headset and imagine... or wearing a nerdy game shirt might lead one to come check me out and talk about it)

Is it time to consider other avenues of employment? Well considering this past week I've heard of far too many folks having mundane job troubles more than ever I'm doubtful that would make a difference though technically I do have a "day job" even if it does happen to be once every 3-5 months :/

I feel like I've gone through this before...

Many have asked "what happened with your old studio" etc. "we thought you were doing well" I thought the same thing and to be perfectly honest I couldn't tell you what happened. To my knowledge I was on a constant improvement rate (at least before new management took over). At that time I fell ill and was told I had too many "unexcused absences" I don't quite compute this since I was picked up from the doctor by one of the owners or the owner/ and told I was doing so well and that we needed "ten Britney's". The week prior I was given my own dressing room.

I told myself that I would hold off on going into detail about all this but honestly there's very little reason for me to not speak my mind. I've held it in for a while and I think it's very unfair how I was let go especially w/out any sort of warning about "missing more time" or not even being offered the opportunity to bring a doctors note. Granted that would've been another expensive trip to the doctor for a nasty head cold but if it would've helped me keep my job I would've done it begrudgingly.

I witnessed a plethora of things that made me physically uncomfortable. Just because I'm a cam model doesn't mean that I want to deal with girls camming with their doors open or girls actively drinking on the job. I was constantly told by their "manager" of the most self indulgent bullshit that I could hardly give two shits about after the 50 billionth time of hearing how you're so good at sex and how you are far too good at your job and that's why you do not have long private shows. The last time I checked, a water salesmen who can't sell water isn't a very good salesmen. If the Internet is down, I've been visibly sick for the past week and coughing up things that morning and all you can say to me is "wanna watch me dance on the pole" not even asking hey how are you? are you ok? and then going to sleep... then of course that's not going to sit right with me.

"be an adult and come to me if you have a problem" well that would be easy if I felt you weren't a variable psychopath, didn't have a certain hold over my boss or if I hadn't actively heard you say negative and albeit threaten violence against people on a day to day basis. Perhaps then I would love to talk to you and feel comfortable. Perhaps if you showed the slightest hint at human compassion I would be glad to talk to tell you that I don't care about what "drama" you had with people who aren't here... that I'm here to work. Oh wait I did say that and yet you constantly poked and prodded ineffectively.

Why would I want to engage in conversation with someone who if I compliment something on them they react defensively? "oh that's a pretty cute hat" "don't hate on my hat" *confusion* or I make a nerdy joke or play on words which goes over your head.

The fact is we had nothing in common but I was never a "bitch" to you no matter how much you may deserve to be treated in kind. Granted being fired is probably great as the oddities going on there were getting a bit too awkward for me anyway...

You are indeed creepier than the men working there before and made me feel uncomfortable by being you. Not by anything that happened between anyone else or something someone said. YOU DID THAT! People don't think you're nice b/c you ARE NOT NICE! I tend to not want sexual advances from women I'm not even remotely attracted to. I'm not sure if that was you trying to be playful or what reason there was for that but I can say with full confidence that I never gave any hint of attraction toward you because there is nothing there that I find attractive... I tend to be more into subtle flirts and those who can wow me with their mental prowess... not incomprehensible slurred words

In all honesty I couldn't tell whether you were ever sober in any of my interactions with you... if slurring has become part of your normal speech or if you're constantly on some sort of upper or downer or everything in between.

It literally took me 3 tries to half way understand your voice message to me about work. I thought some drunkard had dialed a wrong number to me.

Maybe I answered this earlier but why aren't people adults and don't come to your face with problems. Here's why....

*Being an adult we all have problems and lives and taking time out to talk to someone face to face would only be done for those who one actively wants in their life or has some ounce of care for

*Time constraints

*you being a violent person, not equipped with the tools for debate, self reflection or empathy

*One didn't have a problem with you and YOU are projecting your own insecurities onto others and creating problems where THERE WERE NONE!

*They don't understand what you're saying anyway so what's the point of trying to talk to you?

Perhaps in the future if you suspect someone has a PERSONAL issue with you... be an adult and take the initiative to find out the truth in a non aggressive fashion and you will build more mature, strong and healthy relationships.

If you think this is about you then yes it probably is. If you'd like to talk it out perhaps you can write a message to me about it cause all joking aside I really don't understand you when you talk. Maybe if I find the time or care to talk to you face to face we can bring a little chalk board?

Anyway I'm done... I apologize for not waiting the 6th months I promised to post this... I am utterly jealous that I never did anything with my life, good luck with your empire. (that was sarcasm, I know you don't grasp the concept of such things that aren't being thrown down your throat but try to think that one over)

ps: "hating" you are far too old to be using such terminology... upgrade your grammar

I really haven't disliked someone in a long time and had 0 reason to here until you created this. I'd say some sarcastic I wish you luck bullshit but I honestly don't. I'm just happy to not have you in my life anymore. For this I'm eternally grateful

Pretty sure you don't remember this but this was the FIRST time I met you. I thought you were a bit out there but entertaining nether the less... I really dunno where your issue came from. And if it was ever me not being in a "good mood" in the morning I happen to have a lot going on, all it would've taken to clear that up was asking. The ONLY time I didn't address you was AFTER you fired me in such a cunty way. Why would I acknowledge your presence then? It's not about that you HAD to fire me, that's fine but a little compassion for where I'm coming from (weirdo trying to get a little car and go back to school and travels 6 fucking hours a day to work at your damn studio even though I'm sick takes a couple days off. No my bad, hope life treats you well, maybe we can work this out... NOTHING!) My issue with you is that you are a self indulgent ice queen who couldn't give a rats ass about anyone else who isn't a comfy couch or up your ass...

Real fuckin' talk (all questions are rhetorical... I don't care/need a response from you. I do hope you know what that word means.)

Britney Siren