Monday, April 30, 2012

Schedule Update


1st kink live 4pm - 7pm

2nd kink live 12pm - 3pm

3rd Salton Sea Shoot

4th kink live 10am -1pm , Das Bunker Star Wars Party

5th Bar Sinister B-day Bash

7th MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT

8th kink live 4pm - 7pm

9th kink live 12pm - 3pm

11th kink live 10am - 1pm

19th: Board Game Meetup @ 2pm,  Retro Sci-fi girls shoot @ 7pm

20th: Bats Day @ Disneyland (10am)



3rd Board Game Meetup

Thursday, April 26, 2012

I haven't done much writing lately

I'm not sure if it's that I don't have as much to say or if it's more that by the time I get to a computer I'd rather just do something else ridiculous. Getting caught up into other things. Bad movies, looking for work, moving, random banter with friends.

I can let you all know how I'm doing though (since it's an error that I forget to write the most during smooth periods).

Aside from today's minor tummy ache I'm feeling pretty good. I'm in decent health. I have enough money saved to where I'm not entirely freaked out about moving. All in all I'm in good spirits. Enjoying the joys of both awful and good movies and old television series thanks to netflix. Enjoying simply being and not feeling like I always have to be in the midst of things.

I've been playing a lot more PC games now that I've noticed that Steam can make back ups of things and the finding out about free to play games. I also found a site that let's you download older pc games. I'm still trying to find a copy of betrayal at krondor. I never got to finish that game and I'd like to try again.

Sometimes I feel like I don't give enough time to all my interests.

I finally finished reading that book on consensual sadomasochism. I can say that I learned a lot from it. The most important thing I've gathered is the importance of negotiating scenes and renegotiating/talking things out. I don't think I realized it was such a big deal until I had one experience of things going horribly wrong. Had we followed all those things maybe the experience wouldn't have gotten so bad.

I learned some things about age regressions too and something interesting about certain roleplay/scenarios bringing up old memories and causing folks to freeze or react in an odd way. The importance of acknowledging emotional limits which aren't as obvious as physical one's can be and the fact that they can spring up suddenly / can't always be predicted.

It's given me a lot to think about. I may re-read over it again in a few months to make sure the important things have stuck. Until then I've got a whole stack of other books to read. I want to start on the Mindfulness book tonight or sometime tomorrow (most likely during my loooooooooooong bus ride)

Sometimes my mind can drift to the strangest places. Sometimes I'm so sure of what I want, who I am and who is there for me. Other times there's a hint of doubt which opens doors to large paranoia's which aren't necessarily founded in any sort of evidence. I hope that this book will help me to minimize these sometimes pervasive thoughts though I'd be a fool to ignore the fact that they have calmed down over the years.

I do recall a time I couldn't walk into a crowded school w/out developing some form of nausea. Though I still have growing to do and at times it feels as though I have back slide, I hope to reach my ultimate goal... being comfortable in my skin and not being misunderstood as much. I wonder if the key is to not care? Social dancing I must say is one of life's major frustrations for me. I'm not sure I'll ever understand why one must stand out in a crowd or be the center of attention. I'm more of a watcher and a do my own thing/ converse with those closest to me who fill me. Pointless silly small talk type interview conversations I find most draining. I know in getting to know someone this is needed and it's not so much 1 on 1 but in large groups it can still be too much to deal with. I often feel depleted after such events... still I'm going to step out of that comfort zone once more and see what develops.

I'd like to read more on introversion and tips on how to help one through these things. No I'm not shy , shyness entails not speaking up for lack of confidence right? I don't think I even talk as much as others when in groups of ppl I'm comfortable with. I can see me sitting back and listening and thinking things over. Interjecting here and there when I have something to add.

Though the eyes of others can see truths that oneself can't see alone. Sometimes I wonder how I'm seen and it's irritating when it's not the perception I'd like to give off....

Anyway good news!

Moving (yet again) Closer to work and the things I love to do. A few really fun shoots coming up. Continuing to save my ass off for fun things (like bats day and wasteland weekend)... but also for a car. I know I don't entirely enjoy driving but I'd be able to be a bit safer and do more with my time if I had one. Oh jeez and for the life of me I have to get a damn printer! LOL

I'm looking forward to my birthday celebration and seeing friends. I don't have many but I don't think I need to. I'd probably fizzle out in all the hustle and bustle.

I guess that's about all I have to say,

Thanks for reading :D

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Do your family / friends know you show power tools on the internet?

lol some ppl know, others do not or at least haven't expressed it toward me, it's not entirely hidden though I don't shout about it on sites where it's mostly family/friends. :)

anything 4/25/2012

Here to chat on at 1pm - 4pm

Ya missed yesterday's freezing, buttbead action... and a spiffy sweater... don't miss out today :D


Britney Siren

Monday, April 23, 2012

Do you wear stripes a lot?

Only when I'm trying to harness the energy of CODY in Street Fighter Alpha 3... it's been a while


what's better chocolate or sex ?

sex of course


Sunday, April 22, 2012

I know this is very early but is anyone going to wasteland weekend this year (it's in September) I really want to go! I'm going to save up w/ vigor for until then!

I know this is very early but is anyone going to wasteland weekend this year (it's in September) I really want to go! I'm going to save up w/ vigor for until then!

Answer here

Candid Sunday

So I'm thinking I can start this thing w/ a candid pic on sunday or something so here's one for all you guys :D Hope you enjoy!

who says work can't be fun/messy?

I'll see you all tuesday... I hope to be 100% by then.... (chugs more vitamin C)


Britney Siren

Schedule 4/23/2012 - 4/29/2012

I've been a bit sick (as some of you may have noticed) but I'll do my best to not miss anymore days. I'm going to try to take it easy on my off days and get some sort of rest and such.

so here's how everything is looking this week

4/24 (Kink Live) 4pm - 7pm

4/25 (Kink Live) 1pm - 4pm

4/27 (Kink Live) 10am - 1pm

4/29 (Devoor Photography Shoot) 2pm (should be fun, I hear there's gonna be lots of random blood and a chance to make fun faces... should be a welcome change from this weeks fail

Still loading up on Vitamin C and resting with movies and such. I'll be moving next week and celebrating my B-day at Bar Sinister that Saturday. Hopefully it will be a really nice day. Guess I can change over all my addresses a few days before I move so weird stuff isn't sent here anymore.

Hopefully I'll see you all this week sometime... I hope you've all had a wonderful weekend


Britney Siren

PS: Any of you have Steam or play Star Trek Online? I'm not terribly far in but it'd be nice to have a few friends on there if you're already there. Any games you'd think might be fun?

Anywho off to watching more random movies


Sunday, April 15, 2012

schedule 4/15/12 - 4/21/12

17th Kink live 1am - 7am (YAY FIRST OVERNIGHT SHOW WOOT WOOT!)

18th Kink Live 1pm - 4pm** Training at 7pm

19th (tentative Casting Call)

20th Kink Live 10am - 1pm

21st (tentative cosplay shoot if costumes arrive)

Free dates available most weekeneds and also on the 26th of next week

I hope to see you all soon and that you're having a wonderful weekend!


Britney Siren

Saturday, April 14, 2012

How many rings before you answer the phone?

3 times at the most otherwise I'm not answering


How can one find happiness when they trade their own to allow those they care about to have it instead? This seems like a depressive question, but I ask you, a person who doesn't know me, because I would like to read your opinion, not a friends opinion

If they have happiness in the happiness of others then it could work but in most circumstances putting others before yourself just creates loathing and discontent


just another blog

Where to begin? I'm not exactly sure. Lately I've been having a good deal of migraines... nearly daily and lots of knew and random phantom pain. I wonder sometimes if it's all in the mind and if some positive thinking will make it all normalize. I do feel better if I can get around people who make me laugh. Oddly the normal reaction w/in myself when feeling discomfort or unpleasant feelings is to retreat some place by myself and sort out and over analyze every detail of a situation. To stop myself from fixating on problems I'll usually try to go do something calming or fun for me. Listen to music, dancing, drawing etc. usually makes me feel better or can help me get out pent up feelings that I wouldn't otherwise express.

It's odd that some complete strangers I can have long drawn out amazing conversations w/ and not feel the slightest bit of anxiety. Other times strangers connected to others that I know I'm less quick to talk to and more in the watching position. I think last night was my first real experience with this in a long while. (I'd clock it at a couple of months or so)

Super close to a bunch of people I don't know, a bunch of other drunken people and alone with my unpleasant thoughts swirling in my head. I'm sure they were very nice people. One person did try to talk to me a bit and I couldn't say anything. I AM SO FUCKING TALKATIVE WITH PEOPLE I'M FRIENDS WITH WHY COULDN'T I SAY ANYTHING!! I even caught wind of conversations about tattoos and other things that I have an extreme fascination and love for and not a single word came out of my mouth. Just chest tightness... head aches and for the first time ever some sort of nauseous feeling.

I tried to distract myself with my phone to ignore most of the noise but that was ineffective.

In a way I kind of had some idea that this would happen to me. I've always been uncomfortable dealing with new ppl and new places which was fine when I was drinking. I could just have a few shots of vodka and be all sociable and awesome or simply not give a fuck and say whatever was on my mind to anyone who was in an ear shot (and maybe some who weren't even so much in an ear shot too)

I feel as though in these situations I revert back to that weirdo 16 year old who went to a party in the ghetto just trying to have fun but her odd "rocker bracelets" and non-ghetto verbiage wasn't too cool with the cool kids. Small number of ppl there things were great... and then the ghetto version of mean girls shows up and snickers and start pointing and saying things in the most obvious of ways and I stop dancing, stop laughing... and reaffirm why I absolutely hate people and will never emerge from my bat cave ever again.

I know that I don't hate people. I absolutely adore being around people who I'm comfortable with and I would very much so love to be that person who is comfortable in every situation. Who can just talk to everyone. At a place where I wasn't thinking of all these things and spending so much energy worrying about being offensive, or strange or a conundrum of bullshit.

Already late in the whole socializing thing and I think drinking simply left me stunted at that age. I've never learned how to cope and I guess this will be a process for me.

Hell even the last party I went to sober , knowing a few people, I ended up sitting by myself in a corner for at least 2 hours and didn't really feel better until karaoke started.

Being aware is step one. I have a few books to read that may give me some clarity and therapy of course is well what it is but ultimately it's up to me to figure out how to go about this.

Until then guess I'll just remain in my own mind, some form of monster who no one really wants to get to know... I wish childhood insecurities weren't so damn persistent.

There are so many things I'm confident about, comfortable with.... I can dance half naked (and even naked) some where. I can take daring photos. I can entertain strangers and share some of the most intimate parts of myself but I can't talk to the guy who lives next door. This bothers me to no end... but I don't know when this will be remedied... guess it's a day at a time from here on out.

For some time I've been a bit finicky about continuing to write any "real" blogs and video blogging has lost a bit of it's flavor for me. "oh ppl may read things and go on special ninja missions to destroy the already odd perception of my eccentricities or *gasp* make fun of said things" Well if they're gonna do that it's going to happen with or w/out reason or provocation... so this is for those who care what's going on, for someone who may relate and to feel less like a fucking weirdo. The release of pent up emotions in myself...

Monday, April 9, 2012

Schedule 4/10/2012 - 4/16/2012

(all times are pacific times)

10th: Kink Live 4pm - 7pm

11th: Kink Live 12 pm - 3pm

12th: Lana Kane Shoot for Pixel Vixens

13th: Kink Live 10 am - 1pm, Party at 6pm

14th: 3pm - 4pm (busy), Possible play party at Ruin

15th: Devoor Photography Shoot (2pm)

16th: (available for shooting, free all day)

(times not listed are free (and one that is hehe) If you'd like to book a shoot feel free to contact me and we can talk shop)

^-- an oldie but goody by rmmp studios


Britney Siren

Sunday, April 8, 2012 orgasm record breaking photo

Sorry it's a few days late... Let's go for double digits on tuesday!!!!

ps my bum is still mas uber sore :P


Britney Siren

Monday, April 2, 2012

This week on 4/3 - 4/6 (2012)

Hi everyone!! I'll be on these dates this week for kink live :D

4/3/12 (4pm - 7pm)

4/4/12 (noon - 3pm)

4/6/12 (10am -1pm)

So drop on in and say hello! I'm free for shooting / randomness the 5th, 8th, 9th, 12th and 14th so far....

Feel free to message me/comment and such for details.

I hope you've all had a wonderful weekend. Watch some wrestlemania. Oddly enough the matches I expected to be exciting weren't and other one's were very entertaining. Guess it's not what it used to be. I remember a time where I would be on the edge of my seat for hours. I did notice a def high point and then drop off and predictability toward the end. I'm going to try and watch raw tonight cause I'm curious how this manager thing is gonna pan out. Plus since there's plans to go to summer slam this year I should become a bit more familiar w/ the current roster of superstars right.

Also I got star trek online yesterday!! I FUCKING LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if you have steam feel free to add me cause I have very few friends on there :D

And on that note I end my rambling.... tata4now

^--photographer is pinhook and I'm the model :D Yes I do windows :P

Britney Siren