Time gets shorter...

... days seem to never have enough hours (or far too many depending on how said day is going) It's been a bit of time since I've made a real post so I thought I'd whip something up before I start my workout stuff and dissipation into the online void.

Nothing much has changed on the home front. While the future holds certain inevitabilities and uncertainties I'm excited to march forward in it's cataclysm of random and not so random events. It can be difficult to focus and make oneself work when under extreme emotional direst... Most of the time I'm pretty happy and focused on what I need to do and then there are those days that I couldn't be bothered to get out of bed or do much. I won't pretend that life is perfect, that I don't need mending... if it were or I were I wouldn't be human. I think realizing these flaws and even the attempt at making life better or at being a better person can do so much good. Though perfection can never be achieved per say I don't think the effort is a waste of time.

In the past I've wasted a lot of time focusing on what I don't have, what I cannot become and those who would laugh at my being hit by a semi-truck and dying on the side of the road. Focusing on those who bring positive energy can make one forget about those things that are lacking or make you better prepared to tackle those things.

For those who dislike me (as I'm sure you're following me more than those who adore me, dislike, hatred isn't too far from love... very potent stuff) I ask... why? How long? What good does this serve? What good does it serve to hate or keep feeding into a cancer? I don't give thought to anyone who isn't directly in my life until I physically see them or they're mentioned by another party and once that moment has passed so goes the thought.

I don't think anyone is "better" than another. That some are "good" fighting some ultimate "evil" force and we must pick sides to vanquish the ratchets of the world. I believe that people have falling outs for various reasons, usually not one sided at all and that time can deaden the blow of these wounds... b/c if there is any real anger then there is definitely some sort of scar tissue left behind. Sometimes people simply don't mesh well and would be better off only communicating on a casual level... some not at all. Often there are communication issues, projection of personal insecurities and the like that poisons relationships.

I'm guilty of being on both ends of the spectrum and I admit it's still difficult to pinpoint things as they happen. That some people may never get over their issue or talk to you about it to come to a happy medium. I'm OK with that.

I feel like things come and go as they need to. Cherish those who are awesome for the time allotted. Ya never know how much time you have. Life is short and tempers are too. Never be so open to attack but so closed that you're Rapunzel either... right?

If you're still reading this you either hate me very feverishly (which I'm quite flattered by your fiery passion but that energy could be better spent plotting revenge or planning a raid in WOW or something) or you have a great deal of love and warm and fuzzy happy feelings toward me (which I also appreciate and welcome with warm rainbow colored hugs and junk)

"You're so vain, you probably think this blog is about you" well if you think it is then it probably was if you're the one person I was thinking about which you in most cases you aren't. TROLOLOLOLOLOLAAA

I suppose this ends my rambling of random thoughts for today.

If you're here for potential shooting possibilities... I haven't set much up for the month since I was afraid of the jury duty monster soooooooooooooo if you'd like to shoot feel free to send me a good ol' fashioned Email. If you're interested in custom products of a sexy nature do click on the side bar for Extra Lunch Money! For Prints Click the Ebay Sidebar widget of FUN!!

I hope that you've all had happy firework time and great anime expo times as well!

^--- by snab photography

XOXO

Britney Siren

PS: If you have been trying to book me for out of town adventures... forgive my phone phobia... Yes I get anxiety over talking to new folks over the phone. I'm working on it I promises!!

tentative schedule (7/31/12)

*August*

1st: Flirt4free (morning) Kink live (4pm-7pm)

2nd: Work (possibly at 10am) Kink Live (6pm - 9pm)

3rd: Streamate (morning) Kink Live (5pm - 8pm)

4th: Shoot with Saltwater productions @ 10am , Thelma's super awesome birthday party @barsinister (10pm-2am)

5th: Alternative Engagement Photos Group Shoot (message me if you'd like to attend) @3pm

6th: Flirt4free (morning/afternoon)

7th: Streamate (morning/afternoon)Kink Live: 7pm - 10pm

8th Flirt4free (morning/afternoon) Kink Live: 5pm - 8pm

9th Streamate until noon ,1pm - 3pm (new internet installation!! woot woot) (additional streamate times and flirt4free are available after internet installation)

10th Flirt4free until 11am, Dead Fish Studios Shoot (3pm)

11th: Shoot with Jimi King (time tentative), Meetup @ barsinister

16th: Arinston Collander shoot (time tentative)

18th: Glass Slipper Studio Group Shoot @ 11am

19th: Summer Slam @Staples Center

31st: Das Bunker White Party

*September*

27th - 30th WASTELAND WEEKEND!!! (in california city... if you're out there let me know, maybe we can carpool/shoot)

*October*

27th Day of the dead festival @ hollywood forever cemetery

as always for the most up to date info... follow me on twitter (I post at least 30 mins before going online and I should be online for at least 2-4 hours)

^ by paolino photo

XOXO

Britney Siren

on kinklive.com 3/20/12

Hello Everyone!!

I'll be on kinklive.com 4pm - 7pm pacific time! Come on down and keep me some company. Tonight promises to have no random power outages or kracken's destroying the computer but lots of titty's for titty Tuesday ;)

cya tonight!

Britney Siren

on Kinklive.com 3/16/12

Hey guys! My last chat session of the week! So come on down and enjoy the wonderful world of paddle smacking to boobs, butt or anywhere else our hearts desire. Pretty please?? It's free to chat in the public chat, takes a min. to sign up. Tip for boobs/rated R fun in public and go private for X rated pleasures ;)

See ya'll soon

XOXO

Britney Siren

on Kinklive.com 3/9/12 10am -1pm (pacific time)

Hi again... I'll be on for live type chatting on kinklive.com <===kink LIVE

things of note: Free to chat in free chat, tip for boobs and spanks, take private for almost anything!!!!!!

I hope to see you there!

^image by arinston collander photography

XOXO Britney Siren

End Transmission

On Kinklive.com 3/6/12

I'll be on at 5pm - 8pm pacific time! Come on down, tip for a paddling, go private for a wild wild sybian ride or come in and add to the most wittiest of banter the world has EVER SEEN!!!

XOXO

Last night

While I force down this healthy veggie smoothing thing of random veggies that I purchased over the weekend... I shall tell you a story of last night's dancing ADVENTURE!

I was on the heels of a very nice weekend. Finally getting groceries, orgasms, naked ppl, shooting etc. Decided hey I don't have work Monday why not go out Sunday night. I loaded up on a monster, forgot my bus pass, found that I had lost said pass, shrugged, ran back to bus stop lol

Had a nice conversation with the guy waiting there. Got to experience the awesomeness of crazy cracked out hobo singing songs from soul food and yelling out the window about being sorry to his mom and something about not wanting to hurt anyone. At least he's a conscious drunkard. My heart felt a bit of pity for a second and thanks that he was not me for anyone could be in that position. I thought back to younger years of how I might've laughed at that sort of thing and how now it's not so funny.

Anyway enough of this filler. I danced a lot, Had a lot of sweat come off of me from all the water and energy drink I consumed. Oddly I'm not sure I really needed the energy drink cause I wasn't really tired like I normally would feel but it was delicious.

On one of my trips to the bar for water some Asian dude approaches me. He seems really intoxicated on a number of things but I still remained polite. I only understood about half of what he was saying due to it being so loud in the club and my aversion to wanting to be close to anyone under the influence of drugs I mostly smiled and nodded and then went back to dancing and enjoying the pleasures of ice eating.

Another guy talked to me later. Not drunk relatively normal person. Had a nice chat and went back in for more dancing. As soon as I got back to the dance floor random Asian dude was like "where did you go" I'm like "I've been around" and proceeded to dancing. This guy was getting too close for comfort with weird awkward pelvic thrusty drunkness so I kept inching backward. Finally he says "can I buy your panties"? I thought I misheard him so I asked again but nope I heard him correctly the first time.

Not to say that I have some sort of bias against panty selling or anything but why would I do that in a dance club? This confirmed that half way creeper uncomfy vibe was correct and I proceeded to shuffle to the other side of the dance floor in super hip cool for the youngins fashion whilst letting out a very audible NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! lol About 15 minutes passed before this guy returned trying to dance again to which I did the bitchiest face possible and was walked away.

Normally my clubbing excursions aren't filled with this sort of weirdness. Earlier this person offered to give me a ride home. I dunno I rather enjoy that club (it's one of my favorites) but that some what left a poop taste on my mouth.

I enjoyed getting to be out alone and not have to worry about other ppl. Whether they're having fun, bored, hungry etc. I do not enjoy random creepy Asian man but I think I handled myself ok, got a nice ride home and all is well again in siren land :)

Now if I can only get back pictures from months ago that I should have gotten then w/out having to be annoying my life would be complete. "I won't forget you" yet I had to remind you that I wanted pictures that you said you would send when you got home. No message saying you got home or that you're working on anything. Instead I get some talk about not feeling like I gave my best and how long their shoots usually are yada yada because I didn't show up for another trade shoot (I mean if it's trade payment is the pictures so why would one assume the model doesn't want her payment) Cause normally the model "asks" for them when you say you're going to send them? I have to stroke ego's to get something I should already get after you're half way insulting.... awesome!

I probably shouldn't even be writing this but at this point I kinda don't care and just want the pics.

alright time to finish my oddly colored smoothie... have a nice day everyone!

Lifestyle has to change...

I've been toying with this idea/feeling for a while now and I think I'm at a point to where I need to move forward. I wake up too many days w/ zero energy feeling half sick. I'm honestly not sure how I push myself through these days tbh.

It hasn't been as bad as it's been recently. This is the first time in life that I've solely survived on fast food. I rarely have anything home cooked or any type of fruit or vegetable that isn't on something horrible. Not to say that I dislike fruits and veggies because there's a good deal of them that I enjoy religiously... I lack food prep skills and the lack of a fridge has stopped me from buying any decent food.

Next week... I plan on purchasing a few things that I need. I'm not sure if the blender would work for this but I want to start juicing most if not all my meals for a while. It's probably just as expensive as eating every meal out (I do get the large meals too for some god awful reason). I generally spend 10 -20 bucks on food in a day which is fucking terrible so I might as well spend that on shit that won't make me feel like utter crap thank junk.

I know that I wanted to save for a car and I think I can still do that. I rarely go out to clubs and I've stopped drinking altogether so that alone should save me tons of money. (though I've bought a few skank out fits lately lol... I won't buy anymore at least until next month. I'll just cut up some old stuff I already have... I should purchase some thread today... I have needles and such but forgot this important item lmfao)

I guess I'm tired of feeling so sick randomly. Having Adema cause me great pain. I'm not even sure what causes it. I have a skin rash that comes and goes on my face that itches and I've tried every sort of cream out there and it never fully goes away. My joints hurt all the time especially my left knee. It's almost becoming unbearable and noticeable during normal walks to work. General lack of energy which means my anemia is probably back. This has been a long standing problem.

I just really want to feel good when I wake up in the morning. I want to have the desire to do the yoga routines I love w/out having to take a break in the middle b/c I feel like I may faint. Not feeling light headed during shoots. Being stronger in general and more pain free.

I need to do this for myself. . . I'm not saying I'll never eat a burger again or meet as it has it's benefits at times but I can't keep feeling so awful so often. I've already made most of my fluid intake water... I guess that's a start right?

I'd also like to apologize to anyone who planned on attending my Kinklive.com show yesterday. I will certainly be there rain or shine, Death or living for Tuesday's show I promise!! I felt so dead in the morning that I couldn't bear the bus ride/get out of bed. Even after a few more hours sleep I was still pretty dead. I had to force myself to my shoot later that night... I don't ever want to do this again. It's really becoming a problem when I can't go to work ya know :-/

a photo from that shoot.... expect a few more soon on Deviant Art and Tumblr :-) If you'd like info on future events from this group that you're welcome to attend as a model or photographer click here!

For future booking info (schedule, contact etc.) Feel free to checkout my Model Mayhem and the DA account listed above <3

End Transmission

On Kinklive.com 2/27/12

I'll be having a fun and educational show at 6pm - 9pm pacific time. We will learn the finer points of school girls putting condoms on phallic objects the right way. Perhaps a bit of candle wax and clothes pins? Or some good ol booby flashing! Remember it's free to chat in free chat... and you can always send a bit of a tip for a spank or 2!

I've been getting asked if it is possible to make an account w/out paying for anything. That some folks haven't been able to. If you personally know how to accomplish this I'd love you forever if you passed this information along to me :D

cya all soon :-D

Life update

The past few weeks have been enlightening. I think I have a clearer idea of what I want in the short term and some ideas about what I want to persue once the cards are right. My own limits and about putting my well being above others. I don't mean ignoring others needs but I'd been ignoring mine so long and so many things that I was unhappy with just to spare others and ultimately no one ends up being happy.

I know that I will only continue to grow from here on. While I know that rough patches happen here and there I think it will all be ok.

I've been happier and more spirited lately. Thinking about my next plans, saving and happy with some of the helpful and useful gifts I've gotten from a few ppl over the past few months. I'm really happy to finally have what I've wanted for so many years, stability.

While I'm a little unhappy about my spending for the past week. I plan on keeping any additional spending for the next 2 weeks to a min. (Though I know I'll have to schedule some sort of hair appointment *sigh* and I do need to purchase a printer. I was going to try out for some game show for shits and giggles but wasn't able to get to a printer in time. A lot of these job things are really short notice and I almost feel like not applying for extra work b/c of the whole printer issue more than the lack of a car issue so I'm thinking I should add that to a priority list hahaha!)

I got to work with Mr. Paolino yesterday which was a very lovely experience. I'm very happy with the pictures I saw in the cam. I can't wait to get some images back from him.

I also plan on getting some sort of multi-vitamin either next paycheck or the one afterward b/c I know my eating habits are very poor and I want to balance out my health a bit more and have loads of energy for loads of fun (lol loads of fun)

Kink has been awesome to me! I know that the times I'm on there don't correspond with everyone's schedules. I'm debating whether I should try doing a few shows at home during later hours for those who always miss my shows... though chances are that would have to wait for me getting some better lighting. I think my net connection should be fast enough for it (I upped the speed yesterday... Not sure if I'll need to go higher but I think it's the medium level speed... though paying 10 more bucks wouldn't bother me if it'll mean a smoother show.) Perhaps even getting another cam though I think the one I have now is pretty clear.

Also been playing some Samurai Showdown IV and not sucking completely which is awesome. I'm loving that I'm finally getting use out of my fight stick. Even though I don't know anyone who plays, it's a game I've always wanted to master b/c of the way it plays. Timing rather than button smash. Some memory involved... a game that not many ppl even understand how to do combos in. The speed of the game isn't super fast which I enjoy. The fact that the characters actually bleed when hit with weapons are all very appealing to me. I can't understand games that have weapons and no blood what so ever.

Been reading a very awesome book that someone got for me too about BDSM and I've found that just because someone is a bottom in the bedroom doesn't mean they are submissive in life. All sorts of nifty things that I've wondered about. It's making me question where I stand. I'm also feeling proud of serving and having a better appreciation for those who wish to serve...

On my long bus rides I hope to get another few chapters finished (w/out random ppl interrupting my reading though that can't be helped sometimes lol)

I guess that's about it for now... time to get back to be a lazy siren

^---image by Photo Socal

End Transmission

HUMP DAY!!!

Which means a new video! And Scheduling update... woot woot!

December

1st: 10am -1pm (pacific time) Kinklive.com

3rd: WP Group Shoot in Riverside (still available for 1 on 1's)

9th: Group Shoot in Lomita

10th: Party of Glutenous Proportions

11th: Harem Girls/Opium Den Shoot in Winnekta (1pm)


If you're interested in booking me feel free to send me a message, comment, note and such on whatever respective website that I've linked to this. I'm normally not free on tues/thurs.... The other dates tend to vary. If you're interested in attending any of these group shoots feel free to message me as well and I can link you to the details :D

Other than that I've got new hair and a new lease on life! Well mostly I'm having really nagging throat pain. Started out scratchy yesterday and now it's scratchy and in pain. Tickling the back of my thought in the most peculiar way.... even still I shall press on and do my duties!

The video I posted last week about atheism keeps getting the same replies of "but it doesn't mean you're a church or that you don't need support b/c you're an atheist." I never said you don't need support... my real point is don't make it such a point that you feel awkward or block out possible friendship b/c you need other "like minded" ppl around. Don't make it seem like someone can't be like minded b/c they follow a religion or be supportive or have similar experiences in other things. I predict I'll be saying this many more times in the future. Perhaps I should block all commenting and do a response video to the original... when I'm not feeling lazy.... I don't have to leave for a while so perhaps I'll get off my ass and do that lmfao. I guess such is the dilemma of video or the internet, you can't just explain what you mean right away and 50 ppl will come at you with the same argument lol

I guess that's about all in Siren land... I'm going to take some meds and try to snap this cold away from my system T_T

this lovely boobie shot is by Arinston Collander

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