Life Update

Things have been going quite smoothly. I've gotten a decent mix of work and play. I think I'm getting the hang of gig finding and I'm just generally happier than I've ever been. I think this is due to the fact that I've been spending a lot of time working on myself and not really concerned so much with the views of others. I think it would do everyone some good to do this at least once in their lives. Take some time to be alone with yourself. Not to say that means don't see anyone and become a hermit but there's nothing wrong with that either.

I used to have a big phobia of being rejected or a fear of being alone and in all honesty I've seen that dissipate over the past couple of months. I feel as though time alone can be enjoyed for reflecting, making the self better and for pleasure and work/passion pursuits. I'm also enjoying time with others. I think when the fear of being rejected is gone you can actually become closer to ppl and get to know them better. When you love yourself and know that you're worthy all relationships improve as well. I've never been a social butterfly per say and I have a ways to go but the networking I've been forcing myself into, social interactions and well the fact that I live in a very busy house is forcing me to get used to being around ppl and I think I'll benefit from this in the long run.

I have a pretty small circle of people I'll actually make an effort to spend time with. This works for me. It seems the more ppl you have in said circles it becomes more complicated and easier to be sucked into the problems of others. I'm less quick to judge and more quick to empathize now. I'm enjoying even the smallest spontaneous interactions with strangers at bus stops, stores or while out and about now too.

If a smile isn't returned I no longer take it personally. I just smile bigger and know that everyone is fighting their own battles... Sometimes folks smile back and seem to feel better when you share a happy face.

I'm really looking forward to what the future holds. New experiences, new work... meeting new people... I'm just on some sort of cloud and I don't want to come down :D

Things aren't perfect but life wouldn't be nearly as interesting if they were. Since I haven't been writing about issues here or anywhere else I'm more likely to approach the person with the problem if there is one rather than bottling up and such.

I'm not sure how long this growth or process has been in motion but I like the way I'm feeling... I want to continue to improve.

I'm thinking of checking out some books from the library on body language as it's incredibly fascinating to me. Also some  psychology books cause that's always been a major interest of mine. I guess I should read something other than comic books right? Discovering the lovely world of digital comics and emulation has kinda rotted my brain a bit lol! Though I am getting pretty decent at Mark of the Wolves w/ B. Janet... I love that pirate lady and her beer mug breaking :D

Anyway that's all I wanted to say... here's  a video since I'm not sure I'll be home enough to upload one tomorrow. (I wanna go see cowboys and aliens! Amazing that at the beginning of the year I would've never entertained the idea of enjoying a movie alone, or a club or anything of the sort... I feel proud of being comfortable in the presence of myself.)

As always I'm on Model Mayhem, Deviant Art, Twitter, Tumblr, Formspring and obviously Youtube (if you wanna watch the other crap I have there). Also check out my wishlist (if you'd like to contribute an outfit or thing to a shoot. New cam so my vids won't be so blurrrrrrrreeeee?? or just wanna look at stuff I like?) I feel like in a short amount of time I'll be able to widdle this thing down myself :D

Image by DisplayMode Media... Wanna shoot me too? Feel free to contact me on Model Mayhem, Deviant Art or by Email!! Booking shoots for next week!!!

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Looking as though I'll be free this friday July 29th to shoot

and July 28th during the day time... though I don't know if I wanna push it since I have a shoot that night. If you'd like to book something feel free to contact me HERE or on Model Mayhem or Deviant Art. If you're interested in setting something up for the next week feel free to do so as well. I like to keep my weekends free since this is generally when I work my day job but the weekdays are fair game. (unless shifts are canceled which does happen.)

Had my suspension shoot w/ CharlyB (I would link but I cannot... if you contact me I can forward you his email and such or just look up his name on fetlife) yesterday... that went pretty well though I'm a wuss about spinning around still. I mean is it super fun  to scare the crap out of me cause the last suspension I did I was spun around too. I'm not sure that's something I would ever get used to. Like roller coasters and uh...falling down? At any rate I had a lot of fun. Hanging upside down also helped my feet to not be swollen anymore (I had too much salt over the weekend yay!!)

As always I'm on Twitter, Tumblr, Formspring, and Youtube. If you'd like to contribute something to a shoot or just think I'm that awesome here's my WISHLIST!

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What celebrity do you want to join Formspring?

don't care... I'm over my I care about celebrities phase... :-/

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How long could you last without your mobile phone?

I mean I could live the rest of my life w/out one but it'd be really irritating and inconvenient... I'd rather not go more than a day or two up to a week cause it sucks trying to set up things in person with people when you don't have cell phones... :(

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Booking Shoots July 25th ---27th

I may be available more days. I'm waiting to hear from my day job boss to well figure all this out so have no fear... and of course we could always book something for next week as well :D You can always contact me HERE , Model Mayhem or Deviant Art. I'll respond as quickly as possible ^_^

Just got a few pics from Display Mode Media! (I posted one bellow teehee!) Very awesome photog to work with. Friendly... chill and not creepy which are good things for a photog to be yes?

Other stuffs I did this week... Another Group shoot which I'm patiently awaiting pictures from. I hope to be included in next month's event with them. Met some wonderful photogs and some lovely ladies. Lots of smiles and fun!! I'd put up a pic but.... alas I haven't received our big group photo just yet... When I get it I'll upload it.

Went to the BDSM Pride day awards last night and also met some really cool folks. Ate pizza and hells bells might be getting to do a suspension as a result (which I'm giddy about after seeing his work and enthusiasm about rope.) Who is HE?? Well Charly B (who I can't figure out how to link to at the moment... damn scatter brained-ness making me lose track of profiles!!!) of course!! I've seen him at practically every event that has suspension for the past few years and never imagined actually getting to speak to him. I'd always think... whose that tiny man?? I'm glad he's really kind and awesome and has a spiffy fashion sense :D

As always I'm also on Twitter, Tumblr, Fomrspring and Youtube. If you'd like to contribute something to a shoot or just wanna buy something else useful or see what I like... check out my WISHLIST!!!

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do ya still play dancing games??

So yay another video after being all laggy (sorry guys) If any of you have any suggestions for new videos... be it a blog or dancing again... and for sure some tutorials on tut-ting and perhaps boo-ga-loo (I want to learn ever so badly) Drop me a line!!

Other than that my days at work got canceled sooooooo that means I'm free to shoot (well not Saturday) but free to shoot Sunday the 23rd since my shifts at my day job got canned T_T

I should be able to also have my proposed shed-jewel for next week sometime today or tomorrow.... so I'll be posting about that

FUN FACT: this is the longest I've been on the Internet in the past week... it's really interesting finding stuff to do on here :D

A shot from yesterday's spiffy group shoot!! wonderful meeting everyone... you can reach Cal Philips here!! If you wanna know about the other models... send me a message here and i can link you to their respective ports (since I'm feeling semi-lazy and inundated in random multi-tasking at the moment). Another shoot for tomorrow!! I'm so excited!!

As always I'm on Model Mayhem, Deviant Art, Twitter, Tumblr, Formspring, Youtube.... and here's my wishlist if you'd like to contribute something to a shoot!!

Thank you so much to new readers, watchers.. all of you out there who keep tabs on me... for the witty banter... drawings and random love!! I do appreciate it even if it takes me a while to say something personally.

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What's your favorite way to stay cool when it's hot outside?

WATER FIGHT!!!!

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Group shoots... not so bad

Granted today was riddled with little upheavals I'm glad that I actually went out there. I met some really nice photogs. Even though I had to buy make-up/random food. Got sick on the way there and then started to feel better and if I think about it, kinda like I spent more money than I took in... I learned some valuable things.

*I suck terribly at navigating through valley streets


*Google maps really enjoys getting me lost on the bus and I should really start using MTA's website again for bus directions b/c google is mad slippin' lately

*I like nice boobs

*Tall girls with tatts will always make my heart giggle on the inside and bring a smile to my face

*In some ways I'm still a bit of a class clown and enjoy making strangers laugh at the strange noises I make

*I'm most talkative at the most random times

*uh bring lots of under-oos

*OH IMPORTANT ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A DARK SKINNED GIRL LIKE MYSELF! ALWAYS CARRY FOUNDATION OR EVEN ENOUGH TO DO UR OWN MAKE-UP EVEN IF THERE'S AN ARTIST CAUSE SOMETIMES THEY BE FLAKEY (so you don't spend 60 bucks buying cvs make-up)

All in all had a very fun time, met some nice ppl and have filled my socializing quota for many many moons.Come to think of it I have been around the human race a lot more lately. I guess it's a necessary thing... learn to communicate with the masses or they'll think you're a different breed of weirdo than you actually are. (creepy bitchy weird =bad.... creepy nerdy stuff animal dismantling weirdo who snorts when she laughs= still bad but fucking awesome...

I think I'm going to try to start uploading my youtube stuff at night or something if I can remember and muster the energy to.

I can't wait to see leh pictures as this will most likely be the last shoot w/ this color hair. Then again I'm kinda unsure what color I want to change it to. Not a lot of natural colors to choose from T_T ... Sometimes being a responsible adult is no funzzzz!!

Thank you to all the new followers, watchers, random ppl who keep up w/ stuff I write... and all the people who have been coresponding with me all this time through various sites where I link to this blog. I do appreciate it and even though I'm not online as much... I see what you guys put there and try to get back to it when I can... THANKS SO MUCH!!! *hugs*

As always I'm on Model Mayhem, Deviant Art, Twitter , Tumblr, Formspring.... and you can always check out random things I want or buy an item I can shoot in from my Wishlist!

(I'm half way curious who put my real name on formspring..... jeez why use aliases if ppl are gonna use yo real name and then be uh-non-no-mus... well thanks random person for uh crushing on me. I don't know why... I mean not like I can beat Mark of the Wolves yet. Ok that's really not a segway to compliment gathering... I be sarcastic... I'm sure there's plenty of reasons to like me, or even the obvious and simple, "well you have a vagina" response... it's of no consequence but flattering to be liked I suppose yes?)

Oh expect some other bondage pictuers soon too!! (well provided I like them enough to put them up... we shall see)

What else did I do this week? Checked out EDEN last night... good to have a wed. night venue that doesn't suck balls though... Cheap booze, friendly faces (sorta)... good times!

(think my ex took this picture a year ago... I wonder if I look any different or if I've changed much since then... I do hope so...)

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Would you rather play a team sport, or solo sport?

if by solo sport you mean masturbation.... solo

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I love you :3

that's not really a question though... :-P Oh I gotta come see ur show sometime next week!!! I remembered... I'll let you know after I figure out what days I don't work lol

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Do you believe there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone? If so what is the difference?

If you love someone but ur not in love with them... that'd probably only apply to family or non romantic relationships. When you apply that to a romantic one...I'm not sure what that means... If I heard that I would just presume that I wasn't loved anymore, not to say that they think I should die and don't care as they care since I'm sure they care about other human beings but it's no longer the kind of love I would want from that person... more like a I care but not so much

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Should you really eat dessert first?

YES... all the time... EVERYTIME!!!!

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if you where a guy for 1 day and could have sex with any actress of singer who would is be?

I don't really know that I'd want to sleep with a famous person (not that you said famous) I wanna say jessica white but honestly I'm pretty sure most people from tv/movies/entertainment would probably be really boring to sleep with and pretty doesn't really make for a good experience. If I could think of anyone off the top of my head functionally insane I'd probably go with that person though lol Hmmm Fionna Apple would probably be interesting, Thora Birch??

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Are you watching the Women's World Cup? Who are you rooting for in the final?

vagina cup? no thank you

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No new video this week

Mostly cause I wake up by some miracle and find that some retard unplugged my laptop (which only has an hour at most of battery life :-/) At any rate I'd like to squeeze in a second more of uncomfortable struggled sleep but before that...

I'm free to shoot July 19th and 20th... If you'd be interested in shooting anything feel free to contact me Here, Model Mayhem or Deviant Art.

As always I'm on Twitter, Tumblr, Formspring and Youtube as well. If ya wanna get something that I can use in a shoot or just wanna be awesome and get something helpful/wanna know stuff that I like feel free to check out my wishlist.

Other than this stuffs still kicking and waiting on pics from a couple of different shoots. Probably looking to change my hair sometime this week. That should depend on whether I'm shooting on tues/wed though. If I'm not I'll dedicate some time to a new look.

Oh normal work has been good/tiring/I'm always tired regardless and some how work is more relaxing, tolerable than home and more quiet. I guess I'm saying that it's pretty cool and the folks I've worked with so far are nice. No matter if I work or not though I tend to dart out of the house before 9am anyway so I guess I might as well be shooting or working right?

so for those who didn't see this... a pic from my shoot w/ Adam Chilson a few weeks ago. I dunno if/when there will be more since he's been super busy but I'm happy to have at least one. That be real fire right there and real fire is uh hot?

Anyway I'm going to try to snag a few more seconds of sleep :D

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