streamate, flirt4free, cam girl, model, gogo dancer and all around nerdy nerd nerdette. Adventures and random thoughts there in w/ shiney new pictures too!! (formally on kinklive until further notice)
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?
we're already emotional vampires so a werewolf... at least they get to stalk paris and have a cool theme song by bush.... nothing hurts like... ur mouth... dial up does
What's the most exciting thing that happened to you today?
I woke up? I don't have anything fun to do until later so.....meeeeh
Friday, June 10, 2011
A week in Review
For the most part things have been relatively tame. I can't complain much. Actually I could complain a whole lot but that's never gotten me anywhere new before so I'll try not to stress the little things.
Lots of applying to crap and an interview. The woman said she would call that night to let everyone know whether they were hired or not (and I'm guessing I was not since I received no call). Nevertheless I plan on annoying the hell out of the store until I'm told a definite no cause I guess that's what you should do yes?
I've made a vow to myself to honor what an old soul always says, "to myself be true". I wonder how true I am to that sometimes. While in denial of severity or connecting any reasons what so ever to short comings it all comes down to how do we move on and improve from this? How does one find their own happy place? What do I really want to do? Where am I going and how do I want to get there?
One thing is certain, the type of dramatics over my early adult life thus far has been ridiculous. I just want an existence that's comfortable enough and free of over the top arguments/situations. I guess a certain amount of censorship is in order when pertaining to situations that directly effect other people. It's taken 7 years, a few passive aggressive interactions, many blocks and deletions to realize that but... at least it's there lol. At this point if you're a stress inducer I'll either be close enough to you to talk about it to a point but if you're not (IE not even a casual friend) I'll just get rid of you and move on... no need to dance around and pretend we have a mutual respect when there is none right?
Wednesday had a shoot w/ Lightbrite again! Always a pleasure to shoot w/... really calm chill person w/ huge cute dogs. I learned something new! That one really loves bubbles and one won't even be in the room w/ them hahaha. I think I've tried to shoot bubbles around 3 or 4 different times. It's pretty tough! First time they didn't come out at all though this time there were a few shots where there was enough of them in the picture. Now we know that they blend into light surfaces. I'm wondering if some of the shots came out the way they did b/c there was so much going on in the background. There's an old record player that I need to think of a use for (well not need but it'd be cool to use it for something) We might do more light painting soon! For some odd reason every time we try to do normal shots w/ studio lighting the cam wants to act all crazy like... I hope that gets taken care of. (Unless it really is just me and I have some sort of studio lighting hating spirit that follows me where ever I gooooooooooooooo)
I'm not sure what's in store today. Rest? What is that!!??? I do know I need to get to a printer and re-fill the might metro pass for next week. I have some figure drawing class to pose for Monday (I'm going to contact them the day before to make sure it's still on cause I'm not sure...). That'll either go super awesome or be incredibly uncomfortable and weird. I've done figure modeling for pictures but I presume it's not the same for drawing as certain things aren't as interesting to draw... Applying at a different school to see if I can get into it more. I may check into others over the course of the week. Guess it depends.
My fav pic that I've gotten to so far... I'll slowly get to the others as well as upload some of the older stuffs too (I really should've been done with that by now...) I also think, if I can pull a decent outfit together (w/ what I have I may have to hold off on this) I can go ahead and make that dancing video I've been meaning to make forever. I don't expect it to be mind boggling, blowing and all that but it'd be nice to use when applying for dancing casting calls and hell I love to dance so... why the hell not.
As always I'm on Model Mayhem, DeviantART, Twitter, Tumblr , One Model Place and NOAW duh duh duh dumb Youtube! Send some requests, questions, things you'd like to see!! I'll also work on making another v-blog if the home can remain quiet enough for that... we'll see. Have a good friday/weekend everyone!
End Transmission
Lots of applying to crap and an interview. The woman said she would call that night to let everyone know whether they were hired or not (and I'm guessing I was not since I received no call). Nevertheless I plan on annoying the hell out of the store until I'm told a definite no cause I guess that's what you should do yes?
I've made a vow to myself to honor what an old soul always says, "to myself be true". I wonder how true I am to that sometimes. While in denial of severity or connecting any reasons what so ever to short comings it all comes down to how do we move on and improve from this? How does one find their own happy place? What do I really want to do? Where am I going and how do I want to get there?
One thing is certain, the type of dramatics over my early adult life thus far has been ridiculous. I just want an existence that's comfortable enough and free of over the top arguments/situations. I guess a certain amount of censorship is in order when pertaining to situations that directly effect other people. It's taken 7 years, a few passive aggressive interactions, many blocks and deletions to realize that but... at least it's there lol. At this point if you're a stress inducer I'll either be close enough to you to talk about it to a point but if you're not (IE not even a casual friend) I'll just get rid of you and move on... no need to dance around and pretend we have a mutual respect when there is none right?
Wednesday had a shoot w/ Lightbrite again! Always a pleasure to shoot w/... really calm chill person w/ huge cute dogs. I learned something new! That one really loves bubbles and one won't even be in the room w/ them hahaha. I think I've tried to shoot bubbles around 3 or 4 different times. It's pretty tough! First time they didn't come out at all though this time there were a few shots where there was enough of them in the picture. Now we know that they blend into light surfaces. I'm wondering if some of the shots came out the way they did b/c there was so much going on in the background. There's an old record player that I need to think of a use for (well not need but it'd be cool to use it for something) We might do more light painting soon! For some odd reason every time we try to do normal shots w/ studio lighting the cam wants to act all crazy like... I hope that gets taken care of. (Unless it really is just me and I have some sort of studio lighting hating spirit that follows me where ever I gooooooooooooooo)
I'm not sure what's in store today. Rest? What is that!!??? I do know I need to get to a printer and re-fill the might metro pass for next week. I have some figure drawing class to pose for Monday (I'm going to contact them the day before to make sure it's still on cause I'm not sure...). That'll either go super awesome or be incredibly uncomfortable and weird. I've done figure modeling for pictures but I presume it's not the same for drawing as certain things aren't as interesting to draw... Applying at a different school to see if I can get into it more. I may check into others over the course of the week. Guess it depends.
As always I'm on Model Mayhem, DeviantART, Twitter, Tumblr , One Model Place and NOAW duh duh duh dumb Youtube! Send some requests, questions, things you'd like to see!! I'll also work on making another v-blog if the home can remain quiet enough for that... we'll see. Have a good friday/weekend everyone!
End Transmission
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
What does your average day consist of?
I working for no damn pay like a fucking slave... FUCKING DYING HERE!!!
Is it weird that we know each other but I still gap to you? Ahha
lol u still gap to me??? lawls....... part of me could assume what you meant but I think it's funnier picturing you going into the gap and thinking of me w/ the gap singers/dancers in the background
Job hunting day 1billiongazillionxxxxxxxxfuck
I've always hated the process of looking for a job. Not to say I mind getting up early (I have insomnia most of the time anyway so often I'm up by 4-5am) I just wish they could be a little bit more helpful and straight forward about it ya know. Tell you hey we're hiring for ppl to work mainly nights or it's a good time to call at this time. I wish more jobs would tell you when they're not going to hire you so you don't waste a good month bothering them.
My BEST experience yet though has to be the one at Hooters yesterday. I waited a whole hour (none of the girls would even make eye contact w/ me after they sat me down) to get told some bullshit like "don't call us we'll call you" type deal. No one ever says that. It wasn't even fucking balls to the wall packed or anything so I'm really unsure how that 5 min. bullshit talk couldn't haven been done sooner. RIGHT you didn't know I was there for the first 30 mins.... because a girl sitting here alone during app hours w/ no fucking food isn't a big indicator? What excuses the additional 30 mins of waiting? It doesn't take that long to fill out an application. What's a hooter girl to you? I dunno some blond fucking bimbo... gimme a fucking job... I have tits too... I can do your fucking job... this shit is so fucking stupid!! I should've gotten a free shot simply for having so much time wasted that I missed the manager at the other place I applied to that I probably would've had a better chance at getting hired at (If they haven't hired someone already... FUCK!)
Last time I applied there (a month ago). I was told they would be hiring in a couple of weeks or some shit. I didn't get the "importance" of calling places back going "remember me I want a job bitch". So I refrained from doing so. A different manager interviewed me that time. It didn't even take 20 mins of my time. He was really nice and at least seemed mildly interested. Then again I didn't have braids then so meh... since apparently a lot of places don't dig that... shit I dunno wtf the problem was...
I've reached the I'm so fucking sick of applying to places answering the same pointless balls questions. Going through this ridiculous dance for pennies. I used to dance for nickles... but then I thought I could do better but boy I was wrong... maybe. I know at some point something will give but I still hate the fuck out of this process.... Now to go call jobs that don't want to talk to me since it appears the hot water won't be on in time for me to get to my appointments YAY!!!
End Transmission
My BEST experience yet though has to be the one at Hooters yesterday. I waited a whole hour (none of the girls would even make eye contact w/ me after they sat me down) to get told some bullshit like "don't call us we'll call you" type deal. No one ever says that. It wasn't even fucking balls to the wall packed or anything so I'm really unsure how that 5 min. bullshit talk couldn't haven been done sooner. RIGHT you didn't know I was there for the first 30 mins.... because a girl sitting here alone during app hours w/ no fucking food isn't a big indicator? What excuses the additional 30 mins of waiting? It doesn't take that long to fill out an application. What's a hooter girl to you? I dunno some blond fucking bimbo... gimme a fucking job... I have tits too... I can do your fucking job... this shit is so fucking stupid!! I should've gotten a free shot simply for having so much time wasted that I missed the manager at the other place I applied to that I probably would've had a better chance at getting hired at (If they haven't hired someone already... FUCK!)
Last time I applied there (a month ago). I was told they would be hiring in a couple of weeks or some shit. I didn't get the "importance" of calling places back going "remember me I want a job bitch". So I refrained from doing so. A different manager interviewed me that time. It didn't even take 20 mins of my time. He was really nice and at least seemed mildly interested. Then again I didn't have braids then so meh... since apparently a lot of places don't dig that... shit I dunno wtf the problem was...
I've reached the I'm so fucking sick of applying to places answering the same pointless balls questions. Going through this ridiculous dance for pennies. I used to dance for nickles... but then I thought I could do better but boy I was wrong... maybe. I know at some point something will give but I still hate the fuck out of this process.... Now to go call jobs that don't want to talk to me since it appears the hot water won't be on in time for me to get to my appointments YAY!!!
End Transmission
Sunday, June 5, 2011
If you could go on vacation for the next month with an unlimited budget, where would you go?
new york. Only seen it from a plane. Would be lovely to go see some plays/musicals... see a jack in the box strip club... just seems like an interesting place to visit at least once and since the transit is so massive I'll feel right at home
If you were given the money to start a new business, what business would you open?
A geek bar or some sort of talent agency
First youtube video
any tips, advice and such would be appreciated... and def feel free to send me more questions or subject matter!!
I dunno if I can watch this many times. Voices always sound really strange when they're recorded lol. Next time I'll put on make-up first... well at least you know what I really look like... oh the horror of unmasked female faces!!! lawls! Also it's hard talking to a cam w/out feeling like you're talking to yourself like a crazy person... maybe that gets better overtime?
Oh other good news!! A little birdy carried my magical lost SD card to me... we embraced and had magical photoshoot babies. OK not really but I do have it back and I can start updated Deviant Art again woot woot!! (as well as re-add the old ass shit back)
I have one shoot planned for next week (tentative, we're going w/ the wind on this one... hope it happens, would be nice to see lightbrite again his port is available here) and counseling session (that I'm sorta looking forward to) and a whole lot of pavement pounding. (momma needs a new pair of ermm adulthood workness?) I also must remember to re-visit ppl and call the shit out of jobs. I've failed to do that pretty much my entire adult life and I think that's a big reason why I spend 6 months at a time on the hustle. I'd rather not do that this time... yay annoying the shit out of managers is FUN!! Just sucks that I hate talking on the phone but I'm learning to get over phone anxiety. Part of being an adult... guess it means suck it up and deal with it yes?
As always on I'm on Model Mayhem, Twitter, oh.... One Model Place (I forgot I had that account until a week ago lol oh mine broke beginnings become my broke currently horray!!), Tumblr, hmmm Fetlife. I haven't really been on there and I'm debating whether I should simply delete the account altogether. While I do have fetishes and there are a few groups I like reading on there that give me hope that the whole world isn't full of scumy scum ass lickers.... the majority remains to be as uninspiring as the majority of the regular population. (oh shit I was suppossed to be working on cynicism shit!) Well at least every once in a blue moon a half way decent female admits to having a psuedo crush that is destined to go no where at all.... and for that I'm thankful..... I think today will be the first time I've checked it in over a week... well we'll see...
Walking this journey w/ you (that's me and for baremaidens... check that shit out, maybe some day they'll upload the video of me throwing a hatchet. I hope so cause I wanna see it myself lol)
I dunno if I can watch this many times. Voices always sound really strange when they're recorded lol. Next time I'll put on make-up first... well at least you know what I really look like... oh the horror of unmasked female faces!!! lawls! Also it's hard talking to a cam w/out feeling like you're talking to yourself like a crazy person... maybe that gets better overtime?
Oh other good news!! A little birdy carried my magical lost SD card to me... we embraced and had magical photoshoot babies. OK not really but I do have it back and I can start updated Deviant Art again woot woot!! (as well as re-add the old ass shit back)
I have one shoot planned for next week (tentative, we're going w/ the wind on this one... hope it happens, would be nice to see lightbrite again his port is available here) and counseling session (that I'm sorta looking forward to) and a whole lot of pavement pounding. (momma needs a new pair of ermm adulthood workness?) I also must remember to re-visit ppl and call the shit out of jobs. I've failed to do that pretty much my entire adult life and I think that's a big reason why I spend 6 months at a time on the hustle. I'd rather not do that this time... yay annoying the shit out of managers is FUN!! Just sucks that I hate talking on the phone but I'm learning to get over phone anxiety. Part of being an adult... guess it means suck it up and deal with it yes?
As always on I'm on Model Mayhem, Twitter, oh.... One Model Place (I forgot I had that account until a week ago lol oh mine broke beginnings become my broke currently horray!!), Tumblr, hmmm Fetlife. I haven't really been on there and I'm debating whether I should simply delete the account altogether. While I do have fetishes and there are a few groups I like reading on there that give me hope that the whole world isn't full of scumy scum ass lickers.... the majority remains to be as uninspiring as the majority of the regular population. (oh shit I was suppossed to be working on cynicism shit!) Well at least every once in a blue moon a half way decent female admits to having a psuedo crush that is destined to go no where at all.... and for that I'm thankful..... I think today will be the first time I've checked it in over a week... well we'll see...
Friday, June 3, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
What color do you want your dinosaur to be?
Well my old one used to be the color of Hollywood aka delusions and desperation but.... i'd like this one to be purple
Questions for youtube...
so I wanna attempt this whole youtube thing... If you'd like to send me a question to talk about.... my youtube page is here (I know you can send messages there) or send it to little15@email.com (I rarely use this email so might as well make some use of it).
I'm hoping if I can learn to talk to myself like a crazy person perhaps my people skills will improve too? I guess we'll see.
I'm officially off hiatus (shooting wise). Granted I don't have a lot to work w/ (I never really did but now bleh..) I guess it doesn't matter so much if I do nudes though. I'll just start there or w/ things where wardrobe is provided... :-/
(I noticed I hadn't put a pic at the end of my entries in a while so here's one from a year ago... it's no photo shoppy.... sowie lol)
And now to eat breakfast and get ready for a wonderful day!!
End Transmission
I'm hoping if I can learn to talk to myself like a crazy person perhaps my people skills will improve too? I guess we'll see.
I'm officially off hiatus (shooting wise). Granted I don't have a lot to work w/ (I never really did but now bleh..) I guess it doesn't matter so much if I do nudes though. I'll just start there or w/ things where wardrobe is provided... :-/
And now to eat breakfast and get ready for a wonderful day!!
End Transmission
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