update

Well I'm still breathing and chugging along. Sometimes I feel like the little engine that could only the pay off is much slower than in children's books (if there is one at all even). I think the thing they fail to mention in this American Dream they sell to the world and too it's citizens it that hard work alone doesn't do it. Many people work very hard their entire lives and sure they probably deserve more than the haves but they are always the have nots... Why the balance is this way, why it's needed I'm not for certain but I guess this is the kind of country you get when it's run for profit... enough about how our country is the Art Institute of countries (haha I was actually thinking of going there... I've tried regular school and frankly I hate taking math I don't need... well everything else was fine but I'd much rather focus on what I want to do. Though I'm not at a point to where I feel comfortable going back to school (and I'm fairly sure I can't get financial aid or loans at this point consider all that I owe currently, though schools like that have a way of getting the money they want.... oh well perhaps next year...)

Any who I'm still booking shoots for the month.

I don't think I've actually shot anything new this month BUT I did get accepted to Pearls Of Aphrodite Gogo team. What that means in the long run isn't certain. I plan on contacting some event companies and seeing what's up with that. How do the big girls roll? I guess it can't hurt to ask right?

Also there's nothing like a good day that can snap one back into a positive (mostly)  mood.

Nothing like a weirdo who is always unawares of their idiosyncrasies to remind oneself that one attracts the wrong kind of weirdos sometimes. Mister photog who texted me at 6am... w/ ur dream of aliens or something... DON'T DO THAT SHIT EVER AGAIN!! This is why I hate giving out personal information... I don't enjoy texting folks all the time, I'd rather have a phone conversation and that tends to mainly be reserved for friends. That list is pretty damn short of people I actually look forward to talking to or have a desire to talk to. (Yes I have a hard time liking folks on that level to where I'd like to let them in.... yada yada why that is yada yada maybe that's not something entirely special. I don't think everyone has 200 people in their inner circle right?)

While I'm passive aggressively bitching about unwanted contact... if you have a penis and are attracted to vagina stop trying to pretend to want friendship. The hopes that one day I'll turn around and realize bla bla bla I won't. When you put yourself in the friend seat (especially those who don't want to be there which is most men) you pretty much stay there. I don't see you as having a penis anymore. You're just some genital-less thing walking around... so hinting at possibilities... wanting to spend bonding time... yada yada it's not going to happen. My interest for platonic loves hand extends to FEMALES. The few males I would even consider as friends (and never would I be best friends w/ a male... but a distant regular friend or acquaintance is ok) are those who are in happy relationships and this tends to mean we are connected through some other factors. A mutual friend relationship or they've been in long standing happy content relationships and have never come at me in a WTF does that mean are you hitting on me sorta way.

Now that this is all settled... here's a video for you're viewing unpleasure

End Transmission

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