in response to my "hermit" question... I second that. I know it's not a question and it can't get an answer, but I just thought I'd let you know you're not the only 'introvert' like you described.

cool to know... though if we were all introverts the world would be a quiet scary but probably less fight filled place lol

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What song makes you smile?

redneck pussy house by caustic makes me smile and laugh pretty hard

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a new video

yay 2 vids in one week... how unheard of j/k


Shooting schedule is still the same... 2 saturdays booked in a row... but the rest of the month is game. Lots of day job, extra gig applying this week. So far I haven't really heard back from anyone T_T Then again I've been a bit stranded but next week will be better!! (feel free to contact me on any of the sites bellow/comment, send a message and what not for shoot inquiries)

Really looking forward to bunker tomorrow as well!!

I'll have to make this short (I've yet to have lunch) But I'd like to say thanks for the new follows, favs and all the love from Deviant Art!! and a super duper thank you to whomever bought a few prints a few days ago :hugs:

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Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art-- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube

why are females with your personality and hobbies such a rare occurance in todays society?

I'm not sure that they're that rare... I know plenty of female gamers, chicks who like sci fi and guns and ridiculous cheesy violent crap... I think folks just have to get over the whole typical gender roles thing. Then again I don't know where the "normal" girls hang out at but I tend to propagate places filled with folks with like minded interests... I guess that's where it starts... maybe ya just gotta go to the right places. However a girl into classic gaming... I've yet to meet one who likes neo geo... 16 bit crap... classic games or a true arcade trip (and I don't mean just dancing games... I mean everything from racing to light gun to classic platformer shooter action etc. ) kinda girl so far, also haven't met a guy into that either... meh...

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Do you like children? Would you like to have any? Or do you think they'd only get in the way of your life prospects?

sure I like children... sometimes I wonder if I'm awkward around them (as I feel strange around most new people) but one thing I do enjoy about them is that they're very honest so if they don't like me they'll let it be known... they have no filter like adults do. I don't want to have any of my own, aside from financial reasons emotionally I'm not sure I could handle dealing with my own child... the things that could go wrong would probably set me up for a nervous break down... and if someone hurt my child... especially in terms of sexual abuse I'd have to cut off their genitals... a lot of sicko's out there... I dunno how I would deal with that....

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Would you rather vacation in a city or on a beach?

City plz, the beach isn't always a pleasant place to go, I catch cold very easily so I wouldn't be comfy at a beach most of the year

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Since I haven't posted a video in a couple of weeks

I think :(

here's one... that is utterly pointless but still hahaha. I'm attempting to edit all my videos from now on and to attempt to not look like utter crap in all of them :D If you have any topics you'd like me to discuss feel free to message me them or comment.

Anywho....

No word back from when the whole Gogo team "meeting" will be. Since I have day job work Friday (very early) I won't be going out Thursday like I'd hope for. I guess it's a good thing since I don't get paid from last weeks gig until Friday so... I guess it's ok if I wait an entire day. I'm predicting that I'll be incredibly exhausted though... I have a shoot the next day with Vintage Vista but it's pretty late in the afternoon/evening so I should be all rested up by then :D

I guess that's about all that's going on in Siren land...  aside from going to the movies tonight  and ever checking on random job opportunities lest I not die a starving uh... artist/model/boobshaker :D

Hopefully I'll see you at Bunker Friday!!!

Feel free to message me on  some of the sites at the end or comment if you'd like to book me for a shoot or dancing or to stand by idle and eat all of your pizza... I'm very good at that.

**shoots to happen so far.....

October 1st Vintage Vista

October 8th Sal W Hanna (provided I can find my damn costume but I think I should be able to by then, if you'd want to donate one out of the kindness of ur wallet or just curious as to what kinda crap I like feel free to check out the wishlist on the sidebar)

Papa vic Photography took this spiffy pic above... in the spirit of.... good ol' pumkin day I've shared it with thee hither....

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What fall TV show are you most excited about?

dexter!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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Should a fantasy remain a fantasy? Or should we go ahead and experience it for real? Do you live out your own fantasies?

I think if you can do it w/in reason w/out hurting anyone (unless of course they like that sorta thing) then sure! Some fantasies though (IE some folks haven't had threesomes... can be damaging in ways one doesn't expect...if one is in a serious relationship. Jealousy on either or both sides can erupt etc.) Yeah I can say I've fulfilled a few fantasies in my day :D

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If you could attend any concert, what would it be?

uh syn:server who happens to be playing tonight but alas I must work for food lol

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Who is your favorite YouTuber?

uh..... hmm I'm not sure that I have one actually. I tend to watch random things on youtube or music videos... :-/

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I asked a question a few weeks ago, and one line in the answer caught my eye... "...I'd rather not be a hermit once more." would it be too personal for me to ask what you meant by that? if so... I apologise.

a hermit... pretty much I meant that I've always been a bit of an introvert. So most of my life I've befriended books or games or hobbies rather than people. I think I'm slowly breaking away from that though I still prefer to be alone sometimes or in smaller groups... but I'm no longer anxious about social situations, I haven't had a panic attack over it in nearly a year... I'm really happy about that.

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Update....

I want to apologize for being so net silent lately... My interwebs have been out at home at random along with other developments (random work so I haven't had the time to come and mooch star bucks interwebs)

I'll have a new video up as soon as I'm able to be online long enough to upload one (well for those of you who watch those... thanks you 2 lovely people hehe ok maybe like 5 lovely people?) I attempted editing and I think they came out decent enough. Not great but for a noob like me it's pretty cool PLUS... it's windows movie maker so I doubt you can do anything terribly high end with that... right?

At work (on my random one week job) I saw a commercial for some Panasonic cam that takes HD video and has interchangeable lenses that made me want to cry. I was like "I WANTS PLZ!!" but things like that can wait I guess. I'm sure seeing one's blemishes in living pix-elation is... exciting.

October is upon us soon!! I remember it said that I can have funky colored hair this month. I'm thinking of blue simply because I may be attending a rave and I already have some blue components to an outfit. I would have more but clothing issues always seem to arise with me but no matter. I'm sure by then I should be able to purchase the missing pieces and be a tantalizing... blue- tutu thing :-/

I'm debating whether I want contacts. I haven't had any in a year and I kinda miss wearing them but as always when starting a new contact kit it's a bit irritating. You have to find said contacts... then buy the new cleaning kit... and a shit load of eye drops to use every 20 mins until ur eyes adjust to having weird shit in them (or perhaps this is special to my eyes haha I dunno).

I'd love to book some horror themed shoots! (Not just cause of Halloween but b/c they're awesome and fun) I think I should adopt a new policy on trade shoots. Discuss having files transferred to my hard drive after a shoot or a disc being made (since I now have a bad ass rom drive woot woot to having a full computer now lol) I rather hate not receiving pictures especially when I'm doing it for the pictures (I mean it usually is but it's less painful when at least I got some dinner money so I can't complain too much)

Gogo dancing news! We've a scheduled skype meeting (sometime next week). So hopefully that goes super and my stupid Internet is on at my homestead cause I would rather not skype from starbucks tbh lmfao.

Possible shoot next week? I do really want this to happen. How long has this been in the works? A year, more than that??

Alright I should get off of here before I'm kicked out of here...


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What's your favorite card game?

The triple triad :)

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Do you like to drink soda?

I try not to drink it much... but when edema strikes I have to lay off water (though I'm beginning to prefer water to flavored drinks)

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update

Well I'm still breathing and chugging along. Sometimes I feel like the little engine that could only the pay off is much slower than in children's books (if there is one at all even). I think the thing they fail to mention in this American Dream they sell to the world and too it's citizens it that hard work alone doesn't do it. Many people work very hard their entire lives and sure they probably deserve more than the haves but they are always the have nots... Why the balance is this way, why it's needed I'm not for certain but I guess this is the kind of country you get when it's run for profit... enough about how our country is the Art Institute of countries (haha I was actually thinking of going there... I've tried regular school and frankly I hate taking math I don't need... well everything else was fine but I'd much rather focus on what I want to do. Though I'm not at a point to where I feel comfortable going back to school (and I'm fairly sure I can't get financial aid or loans at this point consider all that I owe currently, though schools like that have a way of getting the money they want.... oh well perhaps next year...)

Any who I'm still booking shoots for the month.

I don't think I've actually shot anything new this month BUT I did get accepted to Pearls Of Aphrodite Gogo team. What that means in the long run isn't certain. I plan on contacting some event companies and seeing what's up with that. How do the big girls roll? I guess it can't hurt to ask right?

Also there's nothing like a good day that can snap one back into a positive (mostly)  mood.

Nothing like a weirdo who is always unawares of their idiosyncrasies to remind oneself that one attracts the wrong kind of weirdos sometimes. Mister photog who texted me at 6am... w/ ur dream of aliens or something... DON'T DO THAT SHIT EVER AGAIN!! This is why I hate giving out personal information... I don't enjoy texting folks all the time, I'd rather have a phone conversation and that tends to mainly be reserved for friends. That list is pretty damn short of people I actually look forward to talking to or have a desire to talk to. (Yes I have a hard time liking folks on that level to where I'd like to let them in.... yada yada why that is yada yada maybe that's not something entirely special. I don't think everyone has 200 people in their inner circle right?)

While I'm passive aggressively bitching about unwanted contact... if you have a penis and are attracted to vagina stop trying to pretend to want friendship. The hopes that one day I'll turn around and realize bla bla bla I won't. When you put yourself in the friend seat (especially those who don't want to be there which is most men) you pretty much stay there. I don't see you as having a penis anymore. You're just some genital-less thing walking around... so hinting at possibilities... wanting to spend bonding time... yada yada it's not going to happen. My interest for platonic loves hand extends to FEMALES. The few males I would even consider as friends (and never would I be best friends w/ a male... but a distant regular friend or acquaintance is ok) are those who are in happy relationships and this tends to mean we are connected through some other factors. A mutual friend relationship or they've been in long standing happy content relationships and have never come at me in a WTF does that mean are you hitting on me sorta way.

Now that this is all settled... here's a video for you're viewing unpleasure

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Black Magick: Photo of the Day

Black Magick: Photo of the Day: Photo by Mark Stites, Model/MUAH by Dolly Vicious

(from blackisstrange.blogspot.com)

Amazing photo

Where would you travel if you could go anywhere in the world?

wherever happiness and adventure take me... aside from a beloveds heart/bed ummm new york (I'd love to see some plays and musicals/most of the urban brands are based out there), san fran (hear they have some interesting clubs/fetish festivals out there), vegas just cause I've yet to go as an adult and I'd love to abuse the lack of an open container law/visit the library (hahaha it's not an ordinary library)

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What's the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

a certain level of loyalty although as memory is shotty and distorts with time it's hard to pinpoint what really is the nicest thing someone has done. Lately it stems from folks at least making sure I'm not dead... that I do appreciate

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How does it feel from your perspective to have a large group of fans and watchers?

I didn't realize I had a large group of fans or watchers... guess it depends on what one considers a large group cause for some reason people assume I'm more prosperous and popular than I actually am... I'm happy when someone randomly tells me that something I said reached them and it makes me want to continue not just for whatever selfish reasons I started (as we are all naturally selfish to a degree)... but I guess the joy I get from that is selfish too isn't it?

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What's your favorite app on your mobile phone?

my phone is pretty shitty so none of the apps actually work... yay metro pcs!!

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what do you do to be at your most serene/ relaxed?

hmmm besides drugs, sex and masturbation... I would say dancing, reading, drawing/painting or reading/writting. certain games help too, listening to music. modeling or taking photographs of random things. People watching... sewing. I guess there's a lot I do that helps me keep my zen (damn long ass answer lol)

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Do you consider yourself fashionable?

uh no

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I used to think I was computer literate

Until I realized just now that the power settings on my computer were making it perform like a much older computer... lol I could've been done with this damn upload hours ago... oh well it's done now

So uh hopefully you enjoy. It's for an audition to a new gogo team. I warn you it's obnoixiously long and there's some breaks and whatever... but if you're incredibly bored and want to skip through the retarded parts I won't be offended. 2 industrial songs, 1 rap song cause I figured I should try to dance to at least one normal song... I sorta welcome your constructive critisizme (I've seen some rather harsh things on other videos so... hopefully this I shall not endure... we'll see...)

yes it's 15 mins long... uh sorry about that....

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Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube

Check out my new profile photo and respond!

that's dope as fuck!!! :D

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Do you believe the official version on the 9/11 events?

nope

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Do you say what's on your mind?

a bit of worry but not lost hope...I should feel all is lost but I don't... I think it'll work itself out eventually

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surprise video update

Due to the fun of insomnia I made a video!! Yeah bandwagon---ing a bit but still just seemed to be an overwhelming amount of women (black women) really pissed off about this video that wasn't such a bit deal... a response to this chick Amy's vlog on "what these bitches do wrong"

I apologize if this is more blurry than usual... my regular cam died (fuckin' batteries) So I had to use my web cam. I'm not sure if I'll just use that from now on. I just hate the lag that web cams have... perhaps if I invest in an HD one I wouldn't have these issues? If any of you vlog out there and have any suggestions on that I'd love to hear them.

(also still booking shoots for the week, hell for the month!! LETS DO THIS!!!) I have something in the works possibly for tomorrow but we'll see if that comes through. If it does expect some spiffy atv photos. Should be cool cause I've never done a desert shoot or rode one of those things so... hopefully I don't kill myself or anyone else.

shot by charlyB (he's on Fetlife)

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Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube

"To be weird is to be different... To be different is to be normal... trying to be 'just normal'... is just weird." What are your thoughts on that line?

Hmmm interesting question... I agree with it, but it with the exception of trying to be just normal is weird... cause there are plenty who do that. Pretty much the truly original ppl tend to be strange as fuck and live up in the hills somewhere b/c they can't fit into society... can I handle being that innovative or crazy? Probably not... I'd rather not be a hermit once more.

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What is the most difficult job you can think of?

uh... hmm being a decent parent

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It's that time of the week again

Where I say bla bla weekend bla bla awesome bla bla... Well it was nice and relaxing. I wish every day were this stress free but tomorrow I go back into the throws of adulthood. Oh the life of a starving artist has a lack of food and money that one doth not desire...

So my day job had all this talk of "getting busy" and ultimately looks as though I'll be working about once a week STILL if even that as last week I didn't work at all. I'm going to start hardcore looking for another job that will actually give me some hours. Even if it's 3 days a week it's better than 1. I mean the whole point in getting a day job is to pin down some legit income one can count on right? At this rate I'm slightly better off than depending on random gigs as they come.

I want/need some more wardrobe but at this rate w/ the lack of income it doesn't seem like that will happen anytime soon *sighs* Most of all want to MOVE!!!!!!

At any rate... I'm free to shoot all week (save this Tuesday) If you'd like to shoot you can contact me on one of the networks at the end of this post ^_^

Photographed by MXD Studios

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What's your favorite genre of music?

Industrial

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How did you find the heart and courage to do this sort of modelling? because I for one find it quite admirable (the heart and courage part) considering a majority of us would never try such a thing.

Well you just go with what you want to do. no hurt in trying something out. What's the worst that can happen? You fail... but at least you tried and probably got some good memories/experiences. Met some interesting folks... We only live so long so might as well live as much as we can

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When it comes to money, are you a spender or a saver?

Wouldn't I have to have money first to decide on this? hahaha I try to save but it's hard to budget on random income

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Dead Storm Pirates! YARR

Yay of the random lack of theme videos that stem from random experiences... here's this one. Hope you enjoy it!!

Other than that a shoot planned for some time this afternoon/evening. If you'd like to book something over the weekend or next week feel free to contact me on one of the networks I have listed at the end of this post. Leave a comment... We'll get it all sorted out.

Tomorrow another kinkos run since yesterdays super random audition went well, they need a headshot from me so I'll be running trying to get that to them. My only concern with these sorts of things is that I do change my hair every few weeks so... it's hard to keep a current picture with the same hair. Right now my hair is natural and I don't have a headshot of that hairstyle so hopefully a picture with braids will be ok. :-/ I normally do have braids so this shouldn't be a  big issue should it?

I guess that's about all...

Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube