I've come to realize even those who one may put on a pedestal for a time leads a relatively normal, average boring life. This is one reason why I don't do this anymore. Why I don't feel anyone is particularly out of reach. We're all human, flawed, even the most beautiful of people have very real things/battles going on w/ them...
It can be ugly when flaws are ignored well by oneself... but those who openly share them I admire. I feel a bit of a kinship... perhaps I'm not the biggest weirdo in town.
Much can also be said for first impressions, second, thirds and so forth. The dynamic of relationships shifting and changing depending on what directions the individuals are growing in.
There are those hanger ons, those by standers, watchers... all playing their respective part, actively in one's life and not so active effecting the world around them. I get lost in those kinds of odd thoughts sometimes.
There's a misunderstood glance, words... hate arising w/out ever sharing words or meeting face to face distracting one from their own flaws. This seems to be the preferred method.
Older age bringing a bit more understanding but far less tolerance for things unwanted.
Finding new passions, leaving old one's... meeting new people . Not worrying about this or that... living day to day.
Reaching hands forward to those who would have them, pulling hands in from those who would harm them.
I've yet to find all the answers and I probably never will. I'll probably be making mistakes well into old age but that's ok as long as I have the ability to own up to them and try not to repeat them. To approach first w/ love and not get consumed by negative feelings (this is all too easy to do).
I miss my family sometimes... I miss the good side of bad people... but I do know that we're not all meant to mesh well and that's okay. Life would be boring if we were all the same right?
Alright back to my game of dance central (god I must look awful). I wish you all a wonderful and safe weekend.(shit when was the last time I ate something, god I should have an apple)