Rainy Day Rant

I've probably written about this before but it's probably been a while. I've met people across the board who are either intrigued by the work I do or covertly repulsed. Some neutral and felt that as long as I'm happy there's nothing wrong with anything I do. My own personal sexual journey has had many fixations  and awkward experience and I can say w/ some confidence that I have a good idea of what I like, don't like and such. One thing I will take away from the whole unlocking of fetishes and getting into this field of work that I've learned  to not judge quite so quickly as I used to. For this I'm proud. Happy to be a bit more open and while I do have my own issues and more learning to do certain things make me feel as though I'm not alone in that. I'm thankful to have places like fetlife, good books that are educating me on power exchange and shows like the one's on tsrnetwork.com that have made me feel less strange, where ppl have been really open about their experiences and thus I've felt less shame for things that should never be considered shameful. Learning that Monogamy though not always explicitly expressed can have it's place in BDSM too. That so much of it is very personalized... (let me stop myself before I ramble)

One thing I certainly dislike are generalizations. I'm guilty of this as I'm sure many have been at some point in their lives. Of course everyone is probably hypocritical to a certain degree too. Before I met a single porn star, Stripper, or any other facet of the adult business I can't even fathom what I used to think. I'm sure I didn't think ewww strippers like some people do or working in the adult industry is some sort of desperate act. I'm sure it can be for some but there are quite a few who I've met who are perfectly happy with their jobs save the stigma and weirdness of those blue collar workers in their lives. (or have eliminated talking to those kinds of people all together because of their lack of acceptance)

When I hear things like "oh YOU do/did that" "didn't think you were THAT kind of girl" etc. sometimes I want to inquire what that kind of girl is or what's so different about me than everyone else. Is a girl not allowed to have brains and some beauty? Exhibitionism is only allowed for the subhumans? Sexual openness and being OK with talking about it explicitly makes you a whore in the most negative context. Of course being paid for this body that we're told is a woman's main value in life is strictly prohibited. That this is taking the "easy" way out and that it's as simple as "just a body" especially when regarding strippers and web cam work... nothing to do with socializing or personality at all and that's why any old cumslut can come off the streets and do that shit EASY! Be uncomfortable with yourself at all costs and if your peers happen to be comfortable with themselves well find a way to bring them down to your said shame level by spurting out all your values and that you uphold for yourself because YOURS are the ONLY correct way of doing things?

I'm not saying oh you're a stupid prude cuntface if you don't take naked pictures of yourself or don't want to go to a nude beach or be flogged to death. Cause you'd rather work at Walgreen's than dance on the pole. Cause you'd prefer to have sex for free. Just like working at Mc Donald's takes certain skills (believe me I know, I've worked there and it's the most major test in patience and anger control I've ever had in the whole of my 26 years on this earth. In addition to learning to half ass teach yourself everything b/c you don't get a real training and that their fucking cash register actually makes no fucking sense in it's interface. At least when I worked there at 19 it didn't.) so do jobs in the adult industry. For those who have had some longevity in this world of get it now ADHD get it all for free cause no one has a bunch of money to spend on hookers world I tip my damn invisible hat to you. (I do have my faves and those I admire but I'll save that for some other time)

I just find it odd that most other jobs don't define a person yet there's so many mixed messages about sexuality (at least in this fine ol country of ours) and sexual roles that people so blindly adhere to. I wish more people would figure out what works for them in their personal lives, go after it and not sit in judgment of others for their decisions especially when they don't effect them. (Personally) I don't care what anyone does so long as it's not to the detriment of themselves or others. (I could ramble on and on about what I consider detrimental but it really depends on the person, one act could be devastating for another but not for everyone...)

And so I end my rainy day rant here. Off to look for possible costume things on the interwebs. Thank you for reading. I appreciate all of you even though it might take me a bit of time to answer messages b/c I can get a bit busy/lazy / amused by flashy strobe lights and pretty shiney stuff sometimes.

mucho love

Britney Siren

Hungry Hoes... *sigh*

I finally got into work work work mode (okay  I was thrown into work work mode b/c a homeless unicorn is no unicorn at all... been there and it's not fun. I thought of the process, demeaning ... carrying heavy ass shit for half a mile. Everyone avoiding eye contact w/ you b/c the homeless aren't human beings.) At any rate the criterion for me to stay here is simply work 25 hours. I've been slacking off. I won't do that any further since I'm now keeping track of my hours myself.

Well what I really wanna talk about has nothing to do w/ that. Fuck man I'm tired of getting "home" (kinda bothers me to call this my home but it is where I lay my head... at least I get to sleep naked I guess) and find that some wack hoe has eaten random bits of my food. This has been going on for months now. There was a gap where I didn't really notice food missing. IE: milk is untouched, peanut butter jelly seems to not be the cup of tea for this food stealer person.

What pisses me off the most is I scrape up food w/ what little money I do have. OBVIOUSLY I don't have much considering I stay here. Who would choose to stay in a synthetic whore brothel? (Actually the idea didn't bother me much until being here. Since many of the girls work irregular hours it can be noisy at random times. The walls are uber thin. No windows, gets stuffy. It's REALLY loud when that one couple that works here randomly comes in but they semi amuse me. "I love when you fuck me, oh no not my ass but YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!"  I haven't seen them in a while though... nice folk they are) Many of these grenades (shit I watch too much jersey shore) make more money than me. Now I don't know if this is fully because I've been lazy lately.... and haven't kept steady hours from week to week/day to day or cause some how fat old ppl are more attractive than I am or if that really comes into play considering how much the web cam doesn't pick up on all the fucked up shit in these bitches faces (even so bodies are wrecked... bla).... still they shouldn't be eating my fucking food!

I've rarely fed bitches I'm actually fucking, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANNA FEED HOES I HAVE NO CARE IN THE WORLD ABOUT!

I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to have to start locking food up in the lockers in the back or buying only items I can horde in my room... this shit is really the fucking wackest of the weak sauces...

(btw that painting is by pendalune on deviant art... )

FAT BITCHES IN BIKINIS!