I've probably written about this before but it's probably been a while. I've met people across the board who are either intrigued by the work I do or covertly repulsed. Some neutral and felt that as long as I'm happy there's nothing wrong with anything I do. My own personal sexual journey has had many fixations and awkward experience and I can say w/ some confidence that I have a good idea of what I like, don't like and such. One thing I will take away from the whole unlocking of fetishes and getting into this field of work that I've learned to not judge quite so quickly as I used to. For this I'm proud. Happy to be a bit more open and while I do have my own issues and more learning to do certain things make me feel as though I'm not alone in that. I'm thankful to have places like fetlife, good books that are educating me on power exchange and shows like the one's on tsrnetwork.com that have made me feel less strange, where ppl have been really open about their experiences and thus I've felt less shame for things that should never be considered shameful. Learning that Monogamy though not always explicitly expressed can have it's place in BDSM too. That so much of it is very personalized... (let me stop myself before I ramble)
One thing I certainly dislike are generalizations. I'm guilty of this as I'm sure many have been at some point in their lives. Of course everyone is probably hypocritical to a certain degree too. Before I met a single porn star, Stripper, or any other facet of the adult business I can't even fathom what I used to think. I'm sure I didn't think ewww strippers like some people do or working in the adult industry is some sort of desperate act. I'm sure it can be for some but there are quite a few who I've met who are perfectly happy with their jobs save the stigma and weirdness of those blue collar workers in their lives. (or have eliminated talking to those kinds of people all together because of their lack of acceptance)
When I hear things like "oh YOU do/did that" "didn't think you were THAT kind of girl" etc. sometimes I want to inquire what that kind of girl is or what's so different about me than everyone else. Is a girl not allowed to have brains and some beauty? Exhibitionism is only allowed for the subhumans? Sexual openness and being OK with talking about it explicitly makes you a whore in the most negative context. Of course being paid for this body that we're told is a woman's main value in life is strictly prohibited. That this is taking the "easy" way out and that it's as simple as "just a body" especially when regarding strippers and web cam work... nothing to do with socializing or personality at all and that's why any old cumslut can come off the streets and do that shit EASY! Be uncomfortable with yourself at all costs and if your peers happen to be comfortable with themselves well find a way to bring them down to your said shame level by spurting out all your values and that you uphold for yourself because YOURS are the ONLY correct way of doing things?
I'm not saying oh you're a stupid prude cuntface if you don't take naked pictures of yourself or don't want to go to a nude beach or be flogged to death. Cause you'd rather work at Walgreen's than dance on the pole. Cause you'd prefer to have sex for free. Just like working at Mc Donald's takes certain skills (believe me I know, I've worked there and it's the most major test in patience and anger control I've ever had in the whole of my 26 years on this earth. In addition to learning to half ass teach yourself everything b/c you don't get a real training and that their fucking cash register actually makes no fucking sense in it's interface. At least when I worked there at 19 it didn't.) so do jobs in the adult industry. For those who have had some longevity in this world of get it now ADHD get it all for free cause no one has a bunch of money to spend on hookers world I tip my damn invisible hat to you. (I do have my faves and those I admire but I'll save that for some other time)
I just find it odd that most other jobs don't define a person yet there's so many mixed messages about sexuality (at least in this fine ol country of ours) and sexual roles that people so blindly adhere to. I wish more people would figure out what works for them in their personal lives, go after it and not sit in judgment of others for their decisions especially when they don't effect them. (Personally) I don't care what anyone does so long as it's not to the detriment of themselves or others. (I could ramble on and on about what I consider detrimental but it really depends on the person, one act could be devastating for another but not for everyone...)
And so I end my rainy day rant here. Off to look for possible costume things on the interwebs. Thank you for reading. I appreciate all of you even though it might take me a bit of time to answer messages b/c I can get a bit busy/lazy / amused by flashy strobe lights and pretty shiney stuff sometimes.
mucho love
Britney Siren
I read your interesting rant, and I could not agree more. I long ago had a "blue collar mentality" until I finished my BA (and almost y MA)later in my life. Since then I have rented out rooms in my house to strippers and their boyfriends, some that moved onto porn, and prostitution. We are all very close friends, or family we like to call ourselves. Some are involved in this line of work because they want to move better themselves, such as collage, and were not born into money like others. They look at it simply as a logical move in this bad economy. Some do it simply because they enjoy it. Some are motivated because they feel they are good at it, and everyone likes doing what they are good at, even if it is flipping burgers. I prefer hanging out, and partying with these kind of people because they are so much more open minded and never limit themselves to different possibilities in life, in or out of the adult industry. One blue collar stigma is that people in the adult industry are all about drugs. Many are, and many are not. It seems to me to be about the same ratio as when I was in High School in the 1970s. Some do, and some don't. One
ReplyDeleteof my roommates is on heroin in right now, which a lot worse than meth from what i can tell. Another one of my roommates has been stripping for three years, is heterosexual,has never done any type of drug, does not smoke or drink alcohol,and had only one boyfriend in her entire life (an Emmy Award winning weatherman that will remain nameless). They broke up about a year ago, and she has since been single. She definitely does not follow the "blue collar stigma.
Though some have since moved out, I stay close to them. They are my family. I cannot relate any more with the religious right wing and blue collar workers that I grew up with because I have to look at myself in the mirror in the morning. The people I grew up with are not the people they are now. They once did drugs, were bisexual, into fetishes, were atheists, etc. Sometimes I think it is jealousy that motivates them attitude toward your life style. They want to be able to do the same, but our raised differently, or are just afraid.
A simplistic quote from the sixties that I have always lived by: "Everything you do in life is okay, as long as you don't hurt anybody".
Sorry about my looong rant Siren. May I say you have the best Model Mayhem portfolio I have ever seen. It is because of your wide range of styles from many different artists, photographers,costumes, Mua's and of course your unique style and beauty. That's art that deserves a lot of respect.
lastly, to anyone reading this, register to vote. There are some real ultra conservative nuts out there that are going to take your freedom, and way of life from you. Vote Obama.
I just have to say thank you for sharing this and for the compliment as well... It warms my heart when I hear of ppl going through a change in perception and becoming more open... Thank you for being open here as well :)
Deletewho has been judging you?
ReplyDeleteeveryone judges, it's not always bad to me I just dislike when those pre judgements hold ppl back from seeing someone as a whole human being ya know :)
DeleteAs a guy I can't say I relate to much of what you were talking about but I do agree. The very idea that someone who is open sexually is a "slut" is something born out of an old world we frankly don't live in anymore. When was the last time you saw someone trade a goat for some girl's hand in marriage?
ReplyDeleteThe same goes for those in the industry. I think it's hard to argue that the adult industry is bringing women down when they cry whore in the same lines of "poor girl". You're right Siren sometimes it is just a financial move. There's good pay, some people really enjoy the work, and it doesn't involve some dead beat manager fucking up your schedule on some power trip. Since when is that anything other than a rational decision. Try working for someone you hate, pay that barely covers bills, stupid managers and brain dead customers, and know you won't get any farther in life- now THAT is whoring, and a lot of us do it every day XD
very true!!
DeleteI think guys have a totally different set of sexual issues to deal with than women do. Most things that I've noticed stem from our proposed gender roles.
Guys can't cry or show emotions. Be too nice... etc.
When I think about it I think we all have our battles to face and I often wonder why we still perpetuate these things? I guess a lot of it comes from the media and then is perpetuated by peers b/c many don't build their own opinions through experience and just go off of what someone else's story says about it lest they come off crazy.