A Series of Friday Night Events

I'm still a bit off from recent events... but I think things are well on their way to normalizing. Just gotta keep my brain and emotions in check. Watched a plethora of videos and video blogs and did a lot of reading up on BPD and it's left me less then optimistic.  To be honest I'd like to know what co-morbidly exists w/ this... I may not ever know... fucking everything health related costs fucking ass loads of money lol...

Anyway back to the topic at hand, FRIDAY, gettin' out on FRIDAY. I've gone out 2 weeks in a row. Perhaps next weekend I should stay in or retreat to a nice walk through the park, a dinner, torture myself w/ seeing the latest pirates movie w/ a loved one?

I left earlier than normal hoping to actually get to the place on time. Some dude from the subway (Who I recall hitting on me a couple of months ago kinda stole a bit of my time) He was like "I got off early to come talk to you". While I assume that no man is a nice man. When it comes down to it heterosexual men are trying to fuck you... that said what else is it that we have in common? I sensed a decent level of intelligence but a high level of that whole weird game playing garbage lines that dudes use to get dumb fucking females. Even if I were single (which I'm not ) I'm highly bothered by the use of those tactics. You'd be better off finding a common ground which I'm not sure we really had to begin w/.

So because of this conversation, because I lack the ability to be a complete bitch and walk away from ppl who haven't been totally rude (having an IPOD would've totally stopped this from happening!!) I missed my damn bus and was going to consequently be late. Though I saw a silver lining in this and decided to get some mc donalds since I knew I was going to be waiting for at least another hour for the fucking bus.

Dude going in holds the door for me and says "I'm being nice to you cause the rapture is coming, trying to get those good karma points" or something to that tune. Sorta funny. We talked about where I was on my way to. Had a brief conversation about industrial clubs. I could tell that he knew a little bit but wasn't particularly active lately. Anywho my food comes up and I kinda bolted out of the door LOL He's like awwwwwwwwwwwwwww ya leavin? 

At the bus stop some pothead older dude talked to me about conspiracy theories. That was kinda funny. Offered me some weed (didn't partake in). All around an amusing guy.

All asked for my number, none got it... maybe the first question one should ask is if you're single correct? At any rate this is an unususal high volume of ppl talking to me. Maybe it was the obnoxious amount of pink I was wearing. I don't fucking know.

B/f came and rescued me from the perils of the bus (thank goodness). Spent most of the night dancing around. Sometimes I fear that I've bored the hell out of him. To be honest the past few times that I've gone out alone I've had a lot more fun b/c I didn't have to change rooms b/c someone else didn't like the music. Didn't have to worry about someone being sick or wanting to go outside to get air. Simply put I could just worry about what I wanted, no one else's needs but my own... while I'm half annoyed that lately at these clubs someone always hits on me (which was not a problem before at all, I think a lot of regular club goers are blending starting to cohabit these places and not having the decency to FUCKING ASK ME IF I WANNA DANCE BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO DANCE W/ ME ESPECIALLY IN A CLUB WHERE MOST PPL ARE DANCING ALONE ANYWAY!!) So other than weird Asian dude trying to steal a dance from me  and girl who gave me a retarded look for bumping her arm the night was ok. Music was decent... was able to effectively ignore everyone most of the time (though sometimes ppl snap me out of my zone... something one has to deal with when they are sober at these functions)

Well I guess that's about it... So we're supposed to all die today. Sure hope so, then I don't have to deal w/ fixing these cavities in my mouth, mental health, assholes, and debt... shit I shouldn't have paid my phone bill then.... So what will paranoid folk say when we're all still here tomorrow? Maybe we should all systematically shoot everyone who believes in that shit there in making a true end to the world, their world and thus it wouldn't be so untrue right?

End Transmission

not quite a hiatus

I'd like to take more time out to get things in order. Worry about doing things that yield more income. More on the path to having my own shit. I probably won't be shooting as much.

I haven't been feeling the best (aside from this nagging toothache which I need to pull some funds together to get that fixed... I have no clue how much that will set me back or if I have enough to begin w/ but I can't deal with this much longer. It's to the point to where my entire left side of my face hurts and I'm getting headaches over it.)

I'd just like to focus a bit more on my physical and mental well being for a bit. I still plan on shooting some... but I don't think I want to take up most of my week w/ it anymore.

So if all goes as planned, job fair today, then more applying and hopefully the chance to check up on school (not sure if all will be done in that order but... we'll just have to see how the day pans out)

Friday went to Das Bunker for the first time in... hmmm I'm not sure actually when was the last time I went there lol. I actually had a really nice time. They seem to play much better music when there's a guest DJ. I met a really nice couple and aside from creepy dude trying to dance w/ everyone and old guy on E the night was un-tarnished.

I did see my ex while changing bus's... I gave a half smile... he gave an uncomfortable half smile half laugh gesture. Part of me wonders what he was thinking... perhaps I'd say something outlandish or cause a scene but at this point I don't care when ppl decide to walk out of my life unannounced. It's happened so many times before that it's kinda whatever. He wasn't particularly active in my life at this point anyway. It's probably best this way though it'd be nice to get my crap back... like my CD collection but I'm not so heartbroken about things I haven't seen in years so much. It gives me a bit of hope for recent scars... that they perhaps aren't as bad as one would think they should be...



So as far as shooting is concerned I have nothing planned this week. I might try to do one... but we'll have to see how I'm feeling... after I figure out all this dental shit out.

I hope you've all had a lovely weekend.