I realize it's also been a while since I've really written anything. I normally just throw some video up here and a half ass fancy picture and call it a day :) Not that I don't enjoy doing such but the writing that thinks it's inside of me likes to come out sometimes so perhaps a random freestyle (as all my writing tends to be anyway) is in order. Sure there's more words than necessary, grammatical errors... expletive deletives but some people LOVE those right?
So what's been going on lately?
Work wise I've been a good amount of busy and not busy. So much in fact that I can actually take time out to relax and not worry so much about everything under the sun. I've found that a relatively steady cash flow creates such a possitive energy that things that would normally infuriate me have simply rolled off the shoulders and into the gutter. Random not so random but can't recall his name art class dude commented on said positive energy with a few others. As someone who has struggled with bouts of depression and repressed anger to hear such kind words from those who've known me for a while and those who are just getting to know me means a lot. I feel like at the very least I've shown some improvement in this area. I think seeing some of the negatively that others cultivate and thrive in makes me want to steer clear most of the time. I know this is not 100% possible but I can stay away from triggers and such. I've come to realize that not everyone fits neatly together... I don't like to talk or hear about certain people who are simply not worth my time. Not in a I'm better, I'm angry at you.... mostly I focus energy on those people and things who give energy back.
Another thing I've come to realize is while most folks can live by that motto of not needing anyone that this is the biggest fallacy in the planet. Those folks who can tear you down (those closest) are the ones who can rebuild you as well... I guess this is a bit of the power we give away when we choose our extended families. I used to have fears of such things... letting folks in too soon, not saying enough, saying far too much.... I think that I might've found a balance and have learned to deal with most trivial issues on my own w/out having to burden anyone with them. I've learned to not let as much bug me.
People are layered, not just one dimensional... not all pieces fit and that should be ok. Try not to judge as quickly or as harshly as in my younger days though seeing such judgments still are a pet peeve I do realize that all things come into their own on time. Friends don't always have to agree with all that you do... as long as they still care and respect you, don't degrade or debase one for the decisions they've made... but know when to step in if something is of detriment to themselves and others.... (which can also be a very slippery slope)
***** things of note recently ****
Less internet trolling from internet trolls (always a good thing)
Less offence from trolls (block buttons are a lovely feature)
Trip to Vegas (FINALLY)
Socializing/Networking more and stepping out of the hermit comfort zone!! (still not where I wanna be but well on the journey)
Addressing problems directly with people more often (instead of holding things in or messaging them a billion years later!!)
Having less issues with folks, being offended less, laughing more
Getting along better w/ family
I'm really happy that things are going as well as they are. For new penpals, friends... all the positive things that are happening. If it doesn't last at least I have these moments right now... of calm... :)
OK back to the normal stuff (schedule as of today)
15th: Kinklive.com (1pm- 4pm)
16th: Birthday party :)
18th: Kinklive.com (4pm - 7pm)
20th: Kinklive.com (4pm- 7pm)
22nd: Kinklive.com (1pm - 4pm)
27th: Kinklive.com (4pm - 7pm)
29th: Kinklive.com (1pm -4pm)
If you'd like to book me for anything feel free to leave me a comment message or contact me on any of the networks listed at the end of this post :D
and a random video about videogame piracy! Not that I would know ANYTHING about that lol... If you'd like me to talk about anything in particular feel free to send me questions and such as well... I love those!!