Since I've got some time... a candid post

Many may believe that I lead a life of whimsical whimsy squashing robots with my bare feet. Though there is photographic evidence of this *wink wink* I don't think many consider how stressful working freelance can be. I'm learning that as long as I do this kind of work there will be definite ups and downs and shifting around panic periods (especially considering I do panic fairly easily when it comes to money related issues)

Not to say that "regular" work doesn't have it's stressors too. I worked at mc donald's and probably every other fast food chain, factory work, even did ride operations at a theme park that I shall not name (don't worry, I didn't kill anyone). Frankly this kind of work I find more difficult for a few reasons while others may find this to be an easier route. At the very least I choose who I work with shoot wise which isn't stressful at all (save a creeper or two every once in a blue moon). There is the whole cam girl side which has it's difficulties too. I can say that at least if someone is being an ass on there I can block them (most times) if not I can log off. Not having to be in physical proximity with a ton of ppl is very helpful to me. I don't do well in large crowds especially when I know that potentially every person is going to ask me something. Oh left overs form the teen years... joy!

I don't want to spend too much time rambling on about difficulties. I'd like to dedicate the rest of this post to the good things that have come out of this work and are still coming as I clickey clack away at this keyboard o' mine.

Modeling has been going good. Nearly every week I accomplish my goal of at least one shoot. I apply to things daily and every so often someone responds back or people who I've worked with get back in touch with me which is cool cause there's no "awkward" time of getting to know that person. I like already having a feel for someone's personality and how they work/knowing that we will get good things out of what we do and have fun. It's given me a lot of confidence in my looks that I didn't have before. It's also a major stress reliever... I'm not sure why but I feel very much so at joy when I'm modeling (I get this same feeling when I'm dancing as well though dancing gigs are few and far between) I love the process and even waiting on pics with excitement to get something new and interesting back. My only sad point is that I wish there were more female photographers to work with. Often the pictures I get from women are so different than those from men... man take the more subtle route with something being sexy and I kinda like that. It's also nice to have the creep factor removed (I'm sure women rapists are out there but I haven't met one yet... *whew*)

As far as camming goes... I think I've found a few sites that have been working pretty well. I've already scheduled an upgrade in my internet service so hopefully that will be helpful. I'm still interested in doing some sort of non adult related Q&A sorta thing with you guys though I'm not sure how many would show up. Oddly I'm more nervous about how that would go since I'd be talking the whole time/could get weird if no one is there sorta thing lol. I think the skills required for this are similar to that of stripping (no I don't mean being hot... many women who I don't find attractive at all do pretty well at this b/c beauty is in the eye of the beholder) You really have to have thick skin, social skills, a bit of confidence in what you're doing and some common sense so that guys don't trick you into doing things illegal to the site or into doing free things. With every new site there's that period where half the ppl will try to trick you since they figure you're new and don't know what you're doing... I know each site has their own respective rules but I'd say if you're thinking about doing such work consider a few things both technical and mentally. You might want a site that blocks you're state/country for privacy or one that doesn't record shows if you're worried about that sort of thing. Get good lighting and a fast connection with a decent HD cam. Work from a clean area (I'm sorta bad about this myself... my room is always messy) Wear something that compliments you and be in a good mood when you're going on... you don't want to go on pissed off... it'll show. If you're dark (like myself) dont' be afraid to wear bright colors... it makes ur features stand out more... yada yada yada

Something I almost never mention are the people who have been supportive in leaving me kind words daily. Those who have paid for shows. Those who have kept track of my rocky journey through this world. Those who have sent me random things. I just wanted to say thank you. I appreciate you guys. You make me want to keep doing what I do and to try new things so that you hopefully don't get super bored of me. I've gotten some keen advice and other times just had the most interesting conversations about nothing and about everything. You guys are truly the most rad of radness. I don't think I have the words for those who have actually made things based on me. Just thank you all so much....

To those new and old, those who love me or hate me.... thanks for the lessons. I've learned something at every phase. I'm appreciative of this life...

XOXO

Britney Siren