Before I go (a long overdue posting)

I read a semi-old response to my posting of my cam schedule online. There's some other things I'd like to address while I have a free moment and in the spirit to sort them out via this venue before I get back to business as usual.

I tend to get a lot of messages via well a fuck ton of social networks. Fine and dandy. I enjoy responding when I have the time though the well entitlement issues that some suffer from can make it a bit of a daunting task. "you're not on here much" "I saw you were online and you JUST responded to my message, this was a month/months ago" When I used to message girls who I knew to be model's especially I wasn't even expecting to ever get a response so getting one at all even if it was months later I always appreciated it... why people have this feeling that I have to respond to them or neglecting the fact that I get a lot of messages and have work and life to deal with. I am a human being, same as you and cannot spend all my time answering messages. I have obligations to friends and family and hobbies that I like to enjoy. I need time to unwind and not be a persona as well when it comes to web camming and most of what I do on the Internet is that very persona... an off shoot of myself, exaggerated in certain area's and others saved for those very close to me. I never demand that anyone follow me, pay me for anything... that you have to look at pictures of a nearly naked or naked woman... BUT if you wish to see those things and deal with me in that sort of light then there are avenues that you have to go through to get that...

I don't expect a carpenter to give me free furniture... a store owner to let me eat food for free YET this is expected out of many sex workers. Something I simply do not understand. I think if you haven't done it the weight and sheer psychology  of what happens beyond the "man has boner, naked lady fix this" aspect. There are many venues where you can cam with a girl for free. Many avenues where you can see a girl cum for free and view a variety of free porn and such... I can say I've seen these places and if it were as simple as that then no one would come to me or other women in similar industries. There is obviously something else needed... whether it's a social connection or a connection to another in some way, boredom in one's own relationship and not wanting to go out and cheat, sharing sexual fantasies with someone who isn't involved in their life and therefore it's safer, advice.... the reasons are many.

I'm paid to fulfill some sort of need and in turn you don't get to deal with my baggage and I can ignore a varied amount of baggage w/in reason that a normal woman would probably not overlook is another thing that I think is ignored entirely.

You don't have to respect me, buy anything from me, pay attention to me at all if it brings you no joy or pleasure. Sending me weird things about dissatisfaction or shame will not make me feel shameful. I do something that many cannot do... in fact I do a ton of things that many wouldn't even dream of trying. For that I'm neither ashamed or embarrassed. I'm a cam girl, model... a weirdo who is content with the way life is going. It isn't perfect... many things take work but a simple no thanks or even no response is better than sending me things on how I should feel. I don't impose my morals (or lack there of) on anyone...

Live and let live... dont' project your own failings and insecurities on a person who you couldn't have a half an ounce of hope of successfully tearing down at this point. Camming has given me some pretty thick skin... You'd have to dig pretty deep to inflict damage and chances are you are in a position of no power if you have to do so and those words will not mean anything to me. I'll give it a quick laugh, then get back to life. I don't think anyone should waste time trying to tear others down... most will see through how pathetic you are .

Alright now back to things going on lately :D

Had a shoot with Alt error last week. Still waiting on more pictures and anticipating each one! I'll post my favorite so far that I've received at the end of this blog.

As it stands shooting wise April is pretty open for the most part with the exception Sunday the 7th! If you'd like to shoot feel free to drop me a line. If you have any inquiries about my Store or anything else for that matter feel free to email me as well.

Also my cam studio is in need of girls (especially for the early shift). If you'd like to apply please click here!
It's a good place to work.  There great base pay for the first couple of weeks, great girls who will help you do better. High speed computers and an awesome safe environment to work in. Just passing this along to those who are interested in it. If not that's entirely ok (especially considering the start of this post, though I assure you there are more good ppl than bad when it comes to camming, just had the weirdest morning lol) I'm posting this b/c well it's a start up and I'd like it to succeed, not only because I enjoy working there and otherwise I may have to return to less safe/shittier studio's to continue to work but for the other girls who also enjoy such a place and never have to experience places that are unhelpful, condescending and shitty to their girls.

I guess that's about it for now. I can be found on Streamate most mornings 11am - 4pm pacific time (Monday - Friday usually) check me out sometime if you like

by mykes photos!


XOXO

Britney Siren

The passion of lovers is pretend

So a few weeks ago I shoot a new set for zivity with Kryztopher Johnson-SWP.... I'll be posting a sample pic later in the blog. The name if the makeup artist and other photographer eludes me at the moment (sorry about that. If you're reading this it's not personal, I'm just terrible with names. You were super awesome!) I got to the shoot despite my huge desire to hibernate for the winter. So yay for that. We're planning another shoot for sometime next month that I'm very excited about... Bikini fancy hat and uber stripper shoes will be evolved. Should be a real "hoot".


Speaking of hoots... I have some very special owl undies that you can purchase from me along with other fancy panties. (I'll work on getting those up and others ASAP) Maybe parties aren't your thing? Skype shows are also available. Looking into incorporating gaming sessions in them for extra fun! Prints perhaps? If you have am inquiry about any of these things do drop me an email by clicking this very link right here. You can also visit my store by clicking here to see what's already online.


Even if you have a question about buying old wardrobe. I trend to sell things off after I've shoot in it drop me a line for that as well.

Got a few kind words from some awesome streamate guys...
(was gonna post some messages but I'm feeling some what lazy now lol)


Thanks so much. Kind words do matter!

**Schedule so far...***

Monday - Friday : I'm normally on Streamate from 11am - 4pm pacific time of any given week.
You can see all of the lovely ladies who work at my studio, when they are online by going to Valley Cam Girl's Website

*March*

15th: PARTAY WOOT WOOT

16th Kiddie Land Meetup

23rd (possible shoot? tentative)

24th Geeky Pinups and High Times shoot (if you'd like to attend as a model or photographer do click the link and join this most wonder group of folks, get some great pics and meet some great people)

30th Wondercon

*April*

BOOK ME!!!!! <3

Finally if you guys would like me to cover any topics for YouTube vlog... Drop me a line for that too. It's been a while since I've done that. Would be fun to get back into that.

Xoxo
Britney siren

stuffs

So there was a bit of randomness to be had with the ladies at valley cam girl studio. I implore you to enjoy this version and the booby version up on the site. Feel free to see whose currently online by clicking here!



If you haven't seen my latest zivity set you should take a gander at it. Took a while to get it up but it's finally there and very messy. If you like it or any of the other sets I have up (other sets not by me for that matter) do give them a vote. Voting supports shooting and goes to both model and photographer do show some love when ya can :)

Also shot another set for zivity's wet t shirt contest add week with Leonard Thompson! I'll keep you posted on when that goes live here or via twitter! It was a very cold experience and I'm sure my doc Martins are out of commission for the week as a result but sol very fun to shoot

Got to go to a Katrina brown group shoot (finally) and had loads of fun! Even got to be in some additional themed shoots which is a welcome surprise. can't wait for the next shoot.

Other than that life is rolling along as it does. Still saving up for my own place (which I may require sooner than expected yet I'm not entirely surprised by this notion).  Other fun shoots to look forward to and tons of streamate time to chat away the day with all you fine ppl :) 


****************************************


**SCHEDULE SO FAR**

(Pacific times and schedule is subject to change. Typically mon through Friday is for streamate and weekend days /Friday night is free for shooting. If you'd like to attend a group shoot as a photographer or model feel free to click the links to sign up or inquire)
February
*27th streamate from 11am _ 4pm
*28th streamate 11am_ 4pm
March
*2nd pinhook shoot (on fetlife)
*3rd  SWP Shoot
*16th kiddieland meetup
*24th geeky pinups/high times shoot
*30th Wondercon meetup

***************************************


That's about it so far! Hope you all have a lovely week!!


XOXO

Britney Siren

Cam girl of the month

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A formal post of more formality less filling

Since I have today to do with what I please (today's shoot was cancelled due to weather) I figured it'd be a nice time to write a long drawn out cacophony of words to satiate my writting fixations. One problem with stability is there's not much to say. Most days are the same and that's not as entertaining to read. Much of the mundane is lost in minutes and hours and lumps together until there is a high point.

So what's the high points of this week? Other than the very fun masturbating santa clause hobo I saw from the bus or other scary hobos throwing things at ppl making me rethink how much I really need to focus on getting a car. Oddly enough I didn't look at all that as anything out of the ordinary or that terrible. I remember when I lived in the middle of no where briefly so I can honestly say I prefer something to happen sometimes to let me know that life happens though this is a bit extreme I guess. It amuses me how there can be expensive lofts and entertainment in the same area where there are so many transients and poor that they're slowly trying to flush out. There's so many different activities and even while doing nothing one can be amused by watching all the people in their hustle and bustle and imagining where those folks might be off to.

I have no real complaints about life. I've learned to maximize my long bus rides by checking messages on them so that's kinda cool. Less time for gaming though that's not super important. There will be times where I'll have too much time for that so I'm not super worried.

Hopefully I'll have enough to start looking into cars in the next month or two. Apartment hunting by the summer would be pretty rad. I've been looking into a few areas that seem promising price wise.

In general I'm excited about the future. About expanding the areas I can shoot in. Getting back into school perhaps? (guess that's a wee bit further down the totem pole but I give it a thought here and there).

Learning to appreciate what I have and what could come... and to stretch better so that I don't get random muscle cramps attempting to do a basic spin on stripper poles :P

I look forward to strengthening bonds already made and the new possibilities...

I'm just happy

(don't have much of a schedule update to add just yet so I'll save that for another day now I'm off to apply to some more gigs and then who knows )

by hamyak hakopian :P


XOXO (from a semi resting siren)

Britney Siren

Update yo life

So here's my formal update that I was promising today! For all those who care here's a time lapse video of the feather shoot I did the other week.

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/97571865/Feather%20Tme%20Lapse%20Draft.m4v

^--- check it out, it's at that link. Silly girls like me aren't sure how to embed this code so this is the best I can do.

Schedule update 2/5/13

Monday - Friday (4th - 8th) : In studio at Valley Cam Girls! 10am - 4pm If you'd like to book a show feel free to check out my store vgrl.me/bss and for the actual live shows (normally online by 11am pacific time vcgrl.me/bssm ) Feel free to pop in

9th: ANDERSON shoot for Zivity! @ 2pm

12th Alan (shoot)?

16th DJM Photoretouching Shoot

(most monday's and friday's I'll be in studio but feel free to book something with me over the weekend)


********************************

Other than that not much going on,  Still saving up for a car/new place. Things have been relatively calm. Social life has been improving quite a bit and I just bought a fuck ton of random colorful underwear. Life is going pretty good! :)

So with that said I bid thee farewell then :P

^------another D W Kim shot! Zivity Set coming soon!!!!


XOXO

A very tired

Britney Siren

Off to rest time I go

skype shows and streamate

booking one on one skype shows at vcgrl.me/bss and will be on streamate at vcgrl.me/bssm  cya at around 11:30am - until 4pm

(I'll try to post a more formal update sometime tonight, I know I've been a bit busy)

quick post about webdates!!

http://valleycamgirls.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=13&products_id=52

^--- or a fancier word for skype show! I'll be back in studio tomorrow morning from around 10am - 4pm pacific time!

I'll also be on streamate! s/n Britney Siren!

Which ever you prefer is totally fine by me! Come say hello! Let me know if there's any products you'd be interested in as well!

Cya soon!

Rewind and Refresh

For those who have known me or have been following my progression and transgressions... things tend to hit an ebb and flow with me. For a while there things seemed like they would be relatively stagnant. I had stable income for the first time in forever. I had saved up a decent amount of money. I was out of the house... with roommates but nevertheless in a stable environment.

So this return to the homestead has become a bit of a let down. It's not the first time I've left home and have had to return so I know that I'll be back on my own once I save up enough. Something does have to be different this time. For one instead of holding onto every penny like a miser and watching it slowly go to something else that I cannot keep. . . I'd like to make sure to have a car this time around. There's been many opportunities where I've thought "damn I could have purchased a car but I did X with that money and now it's gone"

I know that the best laid plans sometimes don't go as planned though. IE my mental ability to stand living with family is a major factor. Once I do that it should potentially open up doors to more work and more things to get accomplished in one day. Rather than one shoot, work or one activity a day because travel time wouldn't allow me to do anything else I can do multiple things. Than in and of itself would be awesome. Though on the flip side this would be another expense as well.

Last night was my first time sleeping/being at home (family's home) in a long while. There's things that I missed and things that I didn't miss so much. Like the inability to watch a television b/c ppl are yelling or talking or even talking to you while you are on the phone. I'm not sure if the universal (or what would be thought of as) laws of politeness simply do not apply but I guess I'll have to get used to this all over again.

Nothing too major is getting me down save the fact that I couldn't bring all my things with me and just hating depending on anyone else for anything. I think I've done enough to smooth things over for the next couple of weeks at least... I should be more settled into some form a a routine late this week/after I have everything out of my old place...

Mentally preparing to see/hear ppl I have no desire of interacting with and their rude interactions. I could go into further detail but I think it would behoove me simply to let it be. Hell maybe it won't be as bad as I'm thinking it will be/has been in the past? Perhaps I'm better equipped to handle these things w/ less offence.

I noticed a baiting tactic even in my first few hours of being here and I kept out of it...

As cold as it may sound, I'm in no way shape or form interested in offering care or empathy for those who have harmed me in ways that are unforgivable and never even bothered to say sorry or do anything to show good faith yet expect my support and care when I don't get that from them.

I'm here only because I need to work on things for myself and have no interest in carrying anyone else's problems.

There were already things said that make me worry in the arena of ppl I don't feel safe around / my things aren't safe around possibly returning. This may hinder future car plans... in which case I may opt for a 3rd option which would be to rent a couch/living room area which is significantly cheaper than a private room. I could still save and feel safe but wouldn't have much privacy, since I don't have that now I guess it's not a super big stretch.

So this is what's going on with me. I'll start booking shoots as soon as I'm settled here. Since I'm depending on others to help me might not be when I want or am expecting which I planned for... but brings back feelings of why I like to do everything on my own.

Hopefully something gives before I break...

But let's end on a positive note!

Soon I'll be booking shoots and that's always fun.... I don't have to buy food... (yay!) It doesn't smell here (double yay) And no more long trips to do laundry (TRIZIPLE YAY!). Also this bed happens to be the most comfortable bed I've ever experienced... bravo for that.

All isn't lost...

From a recent shoot with Lightbrite! We have some zivity sets which should be approved soon (hopefully)
So be on the look out for that! Remember that this site allows votes that give money to photographer and model so if you'd like to support someone's work give them a vote or two or 50! :P If you're interested in shooting for them let me know... the winds of time shall calm and then we can gets our shoot on. If you require hair (and since I'm addicted to wigs anyway) we can always buy some for your hair needing.... uh needs.

For some reason I can't locate my planner... I'll have to post another schedule update in another post!

XOXO

Britney Siren

A moment of clarity

Now that I have a moment where I'm not running around w/ squirly all  here's a general update on life, shooting and the pursuit of the all mighty dollar. Found a normal day job with regular hours... YAY! A few things I'm not entirely used to that I have to readjust to. Being on transit most of the week. Being outside, Dealing with humans on a day to day basis. Standing for long periods of time. Remembering shit... uh actual normal work days and the amount of money that means for said day. Not having endless amounts of time to do menial house tasks like before.

On the positive side, even if I didn't need this... I kinda need this. When you work from home you don't interact with any real humans (I mean you kinda can, but you don't) Things become a little odd when you don't have real human interaction for days or don't get real sun exposure/a nice walk. With this job I've gotten to do all that. Also the brain gets this little boost when learning something so far from one's comfort zone. 

So I'm tired but I am happy that I can start a normal budget and not cry about buying food b/c I'm not sure If I'll be able to make my minimum. That said I don't think I'll quit web camming all together. For one no adult can live off min. wage especially in LA... I'd literally have to not eat or do anything else and walk to work in order to do that lol. I'm trying not to cut back on the days I'm online but there are days where I'm far too tired to get up to do it. I've tried night time and I'm sure it could possibly work out if I were consistently on at night. At this time I've been on so much in the AM that there are ppl I see even if I don't tweet or mention anything about it. Could try to slowly ease into coming on later? I'm not sure, there's something about saving the nighttime for being a lazy fuck and eating and staring at the ceiling that I find immensely appealing. 

Ok now that all that dribble is out of the way here's a run down of my schedule thus far. Monday - Friday I must reserve for working. At least until I get a car though on occassion if the location is near my house/downtown LA I can still do it after work since it takes about an hour to get there from work. Would preffer sat/sunday though

January

*24th Manos (the hands of fate) May go see this after work @7:30

*25th Spirited Away/Pom Poko @ Egyptian Theatre @7:30 (would just love to see this on the big screen)

*26th @2pm DJM Photo Retouching Shoot  , @10pm Batcave Uniform Night (really wanna go, we'll see what happens)

*31st Another Rift Traks movie @7:30pm

February

**BOOK ME MAN ON A WEEKEND!! DOOEEEET!!**

Aside from this.... have quite a few sets that are being published on Zivity for you to enjoy and some up and coming too!! If you got no clue what zivity is, it's a site where you can vote on sets and the photographer/model both get a little change for your votes, so if you really like a set you can give le votes which in turn makes us wanna shoot many a picture for your enjoyment! 

Watch out for this last one very VERY soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

^-----by DW Kim 

(so yeah sexy ladies, shoot with him... he's pretty rad)

XOXO

Britney Siren

edit the photo II

I know I said I would do this more often, I've been a little bit busy. Same rules as last time except feel free to add or take away whatever you like, This is an unedited image. Originally by lightbrite.

One month to enter (post it on deviant art and let me know about it) january 17th - February 17th

My favorite will receive a small print of their work signed by me w/ a little kissy mark 

If you'd like follow me on twitter @siren_voice or become a fan on facebook.com/britneysiren <-- only 60 there so let's get those numbah's up *crosses fingers*

Off to work while I try to think of other spiffy prizes to offer  

you can also sample my wares on ebay http://myworld.ebay.com/vagrantgrrrl

that be all son

I feel proud, remembered my blogger password w/out having to look it up

For me that is... quite the achievement. Just in time for me to possibly change it again :P


**Schedule so far 1/4/13**

 *January*


5th Club Hentai @ Sanctuary LAX Studios (meetup link here)

 6th FGV Photo (group shoot) I don't have all the details yet and I'm guessing this probably won't happen but on the off chance that it does some how become an organized venture I'll post another update though it is looking pretty unlikely

 11th God Module @ Das Bunker (going to see them... also have a meetup scheduled so if you'd like to attend that w/ me then click the link yo)

13th Tom N Toms Meet and  Greet (meetup link here)

17th Saltwater Production Company Shoot (tentative)

18th WWE RAW @ Staples Center 7:30pm (sooooooo excited!!!)

 19th (tentative shoot date)

25th Spirted Away/Pom Poko @ the Egyptian Theater (meetup link here)

26th Batcave @ medusa lounge (meetup link here)




Any who I haven't been as active as I'd like to be. Some of you might have heard me mention my sickness. Well it was a tough fucker kicking and clawing at me for a couple of weeks. I'm still slightly sniffly but I think that's mainly due to my addiction to chocolate and dairy products. I'm sure that could've been slowing down the healing process as well.

Sooooooooooo what's been happening lately? I've started selling more crap on ebay. Slowly getting house chores done (I shall tackle another part of my overwhelming amount of dirty laundry after I finish writing. Joys of not having a car I guess) I was going to have a couple of shoots today but I never heard back from one person and the other got really sick so we're rescheduling. Kind of feel glad that it wasn't me being sick this time. I do get sick/fatigued quite a bit. Since I've been taking even more vitamins I've been feelin a little better. Whether this is all a placebo effect or not is unknown to me but whatev's it's workin' :P

Have a few meetup's planned for the month. Trying to organize a shoot schedule that doesn't overwhelm me and make enough time for work. Next week when I don't have to do laundry everyday I want to register at Central so I can do more background work. I met some nice folks last time and hell why the fuck not... I live in LA and they shoot shit here all the time and I'm pretty seasoned at walking so it just seems silly not to do it :P I would've done it sooner but... the bus directions there leave something to be desired.

After that... I'm thinking if the next month or two goes well... I'll register for school for the summer session. Should give me more time to save. I also know I can't get financial aid b/c of my loan default status. I FINALLY did one of those credit check things and it's pretty bad. If I were more responsible then I wouldn't have even attempted to go to one of those private schools... they charge 3 times as much as a regular university which is already overpriced so for a couple of months of school I owe enough to buy a few decent cars *sigh* I want to deal with this cause there's no way I'll be able to rent a place with this shit on my credit :/

Also I have a new set on zivity! If you haven't seen it please check it out! There's another that should be coming soon! If you enjoy my work please support if you can by voting on any of my sets that you like. It pays both the photographer and model which is pretty awesome!

I guess that's about all I can think of right now. I'm pretty happy today.... sleepy since I've been up since 6:15am but happy. May need to nap before I head out into the great gray concrete jungle.

^ --- By DW Kim (zivity set coming soon!! Watch out for it!!)



xoxo

Britney Siren

PS: Thank you for the gifts that I got for Christmas and all the well wishes! Thank you all for your support... for srsly you're awesome :)

seems like sickness will be my undoing

I usually plan for this by not buying anything but with the holiday's being here and all I had to buy a few things. The Vegas trip screwing up my savings has kinda taken a toll. It seemed that last week was going pretty well though and that it might continue into this week but alas sickness has reared it's fun little head. These days are the worst since I'm a bit of a busy body and hate to be idle for long. This is probably why get sick so often in the first place but it's normally not this bad... a headache here or a sniffle there.

Other than before all this sickness set in I had a lovely rope session over the weekend and some awesome play time. I don't get to do it too often so it was pretty nice. I wonder if I did if it wouldn't be as special?

Had an awesome shoot with DW Kim this past week as well. The full zivity sets should be up soon so if you like them please vote on them if ya have an account. I also have quite a few invites left so if you're interested let me know and I'll get ya an invite. The way zivity works is you get so many votes per month for paying a small fee and you vote on sets you like... that's how the model and photographer are paid which is pretty neat if ya ever wondered about how to pay back a model/photog for an awesome set!

On the other end of the spectrum wheels 2000 magazine dude contacted me out of the blue. Fine I guess since I'd been looking into ways to get published and regardless I'm up for trying any kind of shoot at least once so sure I'll pose with a bike and a wheel and see how I feel about it later. So I get a call with a silent voice message. Then read his MM message to find that it was him and saved the number and said I would call on the date that he specified which would've been today. Instead of waiting he calls a minute or so after I sent that message. I answer (reluctantly). Frankly I don't like having business type calls at night... especially after 8 or 9 which is pretty close to the time that I start getting ready to go to bed or just wind down and contact loved ones for quality time.

I don't remember what he opened with but I just said hey it's kinda late. So he goes into some sort of ridicule of it's not late WOOOOOOOA most people I know aren't up until noon bla bla bal bal bal. A great first impression to make fun of someone you haven't met in less than a minute. I was already feeling joyful about working with this person. Instead of talking about the magazine and setting a date to shoot and details he starts saying I shouldn't have nudes in my port and that I should have a website. I said I'd love to have one but I don't have the skills to build one myself. I'd need to get into some sort of collaboration with someone else in order to build one especially a pay site which is what he was mentioning. He said something about charging 20 a month which seems pretty overpriced considering there's many multi-girl sites that don't charge nearly as much. Why would anyone pay 20 bucks to see one girl in pictures?

So this continued for a good 15 mins of him telling me shit I already knew and thought about/tried and accusations of making excuses for not having said things. I'm more pleased by this person the more oral waste that comes out of his cum receptacle. I state that a site is not a priority for me. I already have the networks I'm on linked. I know I could web cam via my own site BUT building a fucking script and all that not through an existing site is also work... why would I abandon the folks that I've already built up to start over on my own anyway? I already use extra lunch money to make custom videos and clips and ppl can mail me through there. I have an email up for contact. I don't really need to have a site. I also stated that it costs money that I simply don't have. So he goes into wix which I don't want a fucking wix site.... AGAIN MORE SHIT I ALREADY FUCKING KNEW!

After this he finally mentions that he no longer works for the magazine because of personal issues that he can't even get into. Why the fuck would you contact me to shoot for a magazine that you no longer work for? So I'm fuming internally and trying my damnedest not to spout off verbal fecal matter. He mentions a pic where I have on the stripper heels and a bobbed wig in a window... that this is the type of shit he shoots. I'm still unimpressed and wondering wtf his point is. Then he asks what my current hair is like. I state that it's like my current icon picture and that if that's a problem I can either wear a wig or we could shoot in a month or so which is when I was planning on changing my hair... I could just change it to a more subtle color/style.

Instead of going ok cool talk to you then as most photographers do he goes into some OH HELL NAW if you can afford to go to the shop for bla bla bla you can get your hair did. I shoot classy stuff, bla bla bla. He also criticizes another pic that I shot with Pinhook where I'm in the door way with cuffs and a collar because those things are not "classy"

At this point I'm about done being talked to like a half with. I say What is the purpose of this call? What do you want? He goes into a rant about punk rock hair... I'm like ok but these are braids you do realize this and I also said i'm changing my hair in a month so why do you care what my hair is like now? More muttering on about straight hair and being classy and shit... I cut him off with "so the more white washed I look the more classy I am" If I simply straighten my hair with chemicals or glue someone else's hair to my head I'm more classy? He says NAWWWW but pretty much confirms what the hell I said

I pretty much stopped listening half way through... and replay with yep ok whatever until he finally decides to gtfo the phone. I blocked him after the call.

I think I'm more heated about this since he's also african-american. What kind of self hate do you have to try to convince me that the way I choose to look is not ok. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH If I just put a damn weave in I'd be so fucking rich?!!

For a while I had my hair straightened and had fake straight hair too... it doesn't make a fucking difference. The beauty standard is what it is and no matter what I do I will not completely be "it" so why should I try to? Most of that shit is boring to me anyway. On the flip side the alternative beauty standard is set in very specific terms that I also don't adhere to as much as ppl rant and rave that I could totally be a suicide girl or some other fucking site that simply doesn't desire to have me there.

I've accepted that I don't fit in a box. I like my curves... my dark skin, my shifty ass eye that acts retarded when it's strained or looks up at certain angles. My pudge that comes out when I sit down. My big ass thighs. My big fuckin forehead and it's little harry potter scar. My nappy hair, whether straightened or locked in braids.

I don't have any issue with who I am, what I do or what I look like.... if you do then kindly gtfo and take ur issues elsewhere. Your entitled to that opinion just as I'm entitled to thinking nikki minaj looks liek a fake little kim and makes me vomit a little in my soul every time I see her. But would I go to her and say... Hey you need to be like this and that.... NOPE cause she has a right to be whatever fucking way she wants and since she's making money from it I'm sure she doesn't give a good rats ass what I think anyway...

Now I'm gonna get into bed and attempt to rest... 3 more shoots left for the end of the year... Hopefully I'll be well enough by the weekend to make this next one. I really don't want to cancel.

so that's about it....

by DW Kim

Watch out for the full set on zivity coming soon!! Check out my other sets while you're there!

another weekly update!

While I have a bit of time of clarity here's how things are going... First my schedule then some random ramblings for those who enjoy that sort of hub bub!

Schedule as of today 12/14/12

**December**

14th DW Kim shoot

15th Rope Bondage Session @ 1pm

22nd PJ Hitman Shoot for Zivity

28th Anthony Randall Shoot

**Januray**

if you'd like to book something let me know!


*******

Other than that things have been going pretty good. I've got my xmas shopping done. If I have a little bit more in the money department I can get some more gifts for people. Things have been selling pretty good on ebay as well. I do sell things really cheap so maybe that's why :D If you'd like to see what I have left feel free to check out the side panel for that.

I've gotten a few xmas gifts already which is already better than last year! Thank you to all of you guys. I really do appreciate all of your kindness :D

I have a few shoots in the works with people leading into next year and a few zivity sets in the works as well. For those who don't know what zivity is, it's a place where members can vote on sets they like and photographers/models can split profit on said sets. I think it's pretty low cost to join and you get so many votes per month. Models and photographers get a free account for life so long as you submit a set and such. There's tons of tools on it that I haven't gotten around to using. Hopefully I'll get to do that soon.

I'm also looking to submit some sets to publications soon so if this is something that you're interested in please don't hesitate to drop me a line or comment where ever you might be viewing this!

I got some random arcade time in after my shoot yesterday as well. I had forgotten how odd people can be. Not to say that I'm the most socially adjusted person on the planet as I'm really not but... it's a special kind of human being that frequents dark arcades lit light strip clubs so that no one may see the scary details of the faces that lay w/in. The girl I met was "nice" I guess but did that weird that folks do sometimes where they spout off about some random shit really quickly with out much of an introduction and then scurry off into the sunset. Before I could ask her name (as she did seem kind of nice) she was outta there w/ a nice tazmanian devil cloud of dust coming up from the ground.

I was also reminded of my refusal to play fighting games online and weird dudes who hang in arcades who talk about you far too loud making it akward for vagina's who just want to go out and play some damn games. "bla bla bla noob, bla bla bla street fighter IV my guile eats babies bla bla bla sailor moon" Surely talking about a woman very loud is an effective mating call, and wearing clothes that are ten sizes too large and at least 5 years old is also flattering.

As much as I have a love for nerds there is this form of dirty smelly nerd that talks too much shit/comes off as a loud obnoxious child that repels me just as much as I'm attracted. Oh well to each his own I guess.

I did get to see a pretty decent street fighter IV match as well which was cool.

I also learned this week (or rather relearned) why I don't wear heels out. It seems that I need to be taught this lesson at least once every 5 months. Dammit to tryin to wear cute shoes and be cute whilst car less. I also don't know shit about regular clubs. I never know where to go when there isn't an industrial club going on. Aside from most places not playing anywhere close to something I want to dance or hear, a lot of them (in hollywood anyway) have those weird lines outside where they don't let people in which I'd just rather not deal with.

So I really should work on saving for a car. I'm very tired of limiting where I go according to transit/not being able to wear skanky outfits because I'm taking a bus full of trannies and hobos and don't want to be accosted. No one should have to make that sacrifice :P

I guess that's about all! I should have my schedule for being online to chat all figured out by Sunday. Should my health cooperate with me it should be a fascinating week!

I hope you all enjoy your weekend and have some special times with those you love


XOXO

Britney Siren

By J Sigurson (not final product, just a proof I got that also explains my feeling about the weekend and fun times to be had... rock out with your genitals inside of your underwear cause it's a dangerous real world out there!)

existential wastes exists as fodder for the masses

So I put my schedule up top for those who just want to see that... if ya want to read further ramblings feel free to scroll on past that :D

Schedule so far!!


**December**


7th J Sigerson shoot

8th (work)

9th X-mas Group Shoot in Orange County (http://www.modelmayhem.com/po.php?thread_id=869138&page=1#last click there to see all the models attending, more info and to attend as a photographer)

14th DW Kim shoot

15th Rope Bondage Session @ 1pm

22nd PJ Hitman Shoot for Zivity

If you'd like to book something feel free to contact me wherever you see this and we can set something up. Still planning on visiting San Fran for my birthday next year (in May) If you're in that area I'd love to hear from you as well :D

**Recent Life Crapola... **

Now that those things are out of the way... I can say that things are going ok. I'm noticing more of an urge not to respond to anything I disagree with posting wise as many don't have the proper tools for debate. The ability to say your piece, listen to another POV and if the two can't come to a mutual agreement move on in an orderly and peaceful fashion.

I spent a day in my old neighboorhood... walking through the shitty ass baldwin hills mall. I came to the conclusion that people around there still don't smile and are a lot more loud and audible with opinions you didn't ask for. They also stare a lot in a very rude way that I haven't experienced in  5 or 6 months and are kind of off putting. I honestly had forgotten how obnoxious my hair had been until I got to that neighborhood. Then again it seems that no matter what look I have I always managed to get the worst looks from people. Weather I looked far too happy or too sad or walked around with the wrong people.

I managed to shrug it all off pretty well but it lead me to some interesting thoughts. Why do people feel the need to correct others/judge those who aren't in their lives? We all have a pretty small amount of people we deal with on a regular basis who really matter... whether someone dresses in a way that you dislike (w/in the confines of reason, obviously someone with their genitals nearly out in a park full of children is inappropriate but simply disliking how someone matches their colors is silly to yell at them for it)

I thought about how far I've come in not really caring. A younger version of me might've have felt the need to retort back with some sarcastic reply that would've gone over their head. I think I was mostly irritated that someone was yelling things at me while I'm trying to listen to my grandmother say something. It's just a very rude thing to do... otherwise I probably wouldn't have noticed at all.

I do get it that others fixate on other people so that they won't have to deal with inadequacies in themselves... sometimes it's other things. Perhaps this is why I don't really get too upset about most things.

Though I am a bit upset about these st johns wart pills. I feel incredibly sleepy now and my stomach is all out of wack. I told myself I'd stick with it for a bit and see how they do. If it gets too bad I'll have to look into a different supplement perhaps. For now... a long train to sleepy town is where I shall go

XOXO

Britney Siren

PS: My borderlands 2 Siren is level 50 now muahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

by Rachel Spurr