If you could attend any concert, what would it be?

uh syn:server who happens to be playing tonight but alas I must work for food lol

anything

Who is your favorite YouTuber?

uh..... hmm I'm not sure that I have one actually. I tend to watch random things on youtube or music videos... :-/

anything

I asked a question a few weeks ago, and one line in the answer caught my eye... "...I'd rather not be a hermit once more." would it be too personal for me to ask what you meant by that? if so... I apologise.

a hermit... pretty much I meant that I've always been a bit of an introvert. So most of my life I've befriended books or games or hobbies rather than people. I think I'm slowly breaking away from that though I still prefer to be alone sometimes or in smaller groups... but I'm no longer anxious about social situations, I haven't had a panic attack over it in nearly a year... I'm really happy about that.

anything

Update....

I want to apologize for being so net silent lately... My interwebs have been out at home at random along with other developments (random work so I haven't had the time to come and mooch star bucks interwebs)

I'll have a new video up as soon as I'm able to be online long enough to upload one (well for those of you who watch those... thanks you 2 lovely people hehe ok maybe like 5 lovely people?) I attempted editing and I think they came out decent enough. Not great but for a noob like me it's pretty cool PLUS... it's windows movie maker so I doubt you can do anything terribly high end with that... right?

At work (on my random one week job) I saw a commercial for some Panasonic cam that takes HD video and has interchangeable lenses that made me want to cry. I was like "I WANTS PLZ!!" but things like that can wait I guess. I'm sure seeing one's blemishes in living pix-elation is... exciting.

October is upon us soon!! I remember it said that I can have funky colored hair this month. I'm thinking of blue simply because I may be attending a rave and I already have some blue components to an outfit. I would have more but clothing issues always seem to arise with me but no matter. I'm sure by then I should be able to purchase the missing pieces and be a tantalizing... blue- tutu thing :-/

I'm debating whether I want contacts. I haven't had any in a year and I kinda miss wearing them but as always when starting a new contact kit it's a bit irritating. You have to find said contacts... then buy the new cleaning kit... and a shit load of eye drops to use every 20 mins until ur eyes adjust to having weird shit in them (or perhaps this is special to my eyes haha I dunno).

I'd love to book some horror themed shoots! (Not just cause of Halloween but b/c they're awesome and fun) I think I should adopt a new policy on trade shoots. Discuss having files transferred to my hard drive after a shoot or a disc being made (since I now have a bad ass rom drive woot woot to having a full computer now lol) I rather hate not receiving pictures especially when I'm doing it for the pictures (I mean it usually is but it's less painful when at least I got some dinner money so I can't complain too much)

Gogo dancing news! We've a scheduled skype meeting (sometime next week). So hopefully that goes super and my stupid Internet is on at my homestead cause I would rather not skype from starbucks tbh lmfao.

Possible shoot next week? I do really want this to happen. How long has this been in the works? A year, more than that??

Alright I should get off of here before I'm kicked out of here...


End Transmission

Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube

What's your favorite card game?

The triple triad :)

anything

Do you like to drink soda?

I try not to drink it much... but when edema strikes I have to lay off water (though I'm beginning to prefer water to flavored drinks)

anything

update

Well I'm still breathing and chugging along. Sometimes I feel like the little engine that could only the pay off is much slower than in children's books (if there is one at all even). I think the thing they fail to mention in this American Dream they sell to the world and too it's citizens it that hard work alone doesn't do it. Many people work very hard their entire lives and sure they probably deserve more than the haves but they are always the have nots... Why the balance is this way, why it's needed I'm not for certain but I guess this is the kind of country you get when it's run for profit... enough about how our country is the Art Institute of countries (haha I was actually thinking of going there... I've tried regular school and frankly I hate taking math I don't need... well everything else was fine but I'd much rather focus on what I want to do. Though I'm not at a point to where I feel comfortable going back to school (and I'm fairly sure I can't get financial aid or loans at this point consider all that I owe currently, though schools like that have a way of getting the money they want.... oh well perhaps next year...)

Any who I'm still booking shoots for the month.

I don't think I've actually shot anything new this month BUT I did get accepted to Pearls Of Aphrodite Gogo team. What that means in the long run isn't certain. I plan on contacting some event companies and seeing what's up with that. How do the big girls roll? I guess it can't hurt to ask right?

Also there's nothing like a good day that can snap one back into a positive (mostly)  mood.

Nothing like a weirdo who is always unawares of their idiosyncrasies to remind oneself that one attracts the wrong kind of weirdos sometimes. Mister photog who texted me at 6am... w/ ur dream of aliens or something... DON'T DO THAT SHIT EVER AGAIN!! This is why I hate giving out personal information... I don't enjoy texting folks all the time, I'd rather have a phone conversation and that tends to mainly be reserved for friends. That list is pretty damn short of people I actually look forward to talking to or have a desire to talk to. (Yes I have a hard time liking folks on that level to where I'd like to let them in.... yada yada why that is yada yada maybe that's not something entirely special. I don't think everyone has 200 people in their inner circle right?)

While I'm passive aggressively bitching about unwanted contact... if you have a penis and are attracted to vagina stop trying to pretend to want friendship. The hopes that one day I'll turn around and realize bla bla bla I won't. When you put yourself in the friend seat (especially those who don't want to be there which is most men) you pretty much stay there. I don't see you as having a penis anymore. You're just some genital-less thing walking around... so hinting at possibilities... wanting to spend bonding time... yada yada it's not going to happen. My interest for platonic loves hand extends to FEMALES. The few males I would even consider as friends (and never would I be best friends w/ a male... but a distant regular friend or acquaintance is ok) are those who are in happy relationships and this tends to mean we are connected through some other factors. A mutual friend relationship or they've been in long standing happy content relationships and have never come at me in a WTF does that mean are you hitting on me sorta way.

Now that this is all settled... here's a video for you're viewing unpleasure

End Transmission

Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube

Black Magick: Photo of the Day

Black Magick: Photo of the Day: Photo by Mark Stites, Model/MUAH by Dolly Vicious

(from blackisstrange.blogspot.com)

Amazing photo

Where would you travel if you could go anywhere in the world?

wherever happiness and adventure take me... aside from a beloveds heart/bed ummm new york (I'd love to see some plays and musicals/most of the urban brands are based out there), san fran (hear they have some interesting clubs/fetish festivals out there), vegas just cause I've yet to go as an adult and I'd love to abuse the lack of an open container law/visit the library (hahaha it's not an ordinary library)

anything

What's the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

a certain level of loyalty although as memory is shotty and distorts with time it's hard to pinpoint what really is the nicest thing someone has done. Lately it stems from folks at least making sure I'm not dead... that I do appreciate

anything

How does it feel from your perspective to have a large group of fans and watchers?

I didn't realize I had a large group of fans or watchers... guess it depends on what one considers a large group cause for some reason people assume I'm more prosperous and popular than I actually am... I'm happy when someone randomly tells me that something I said reached them and it makes me want to continue not just for whatever selfish reasons I started (as we are all naturally selfish to a degree)... but I guess the joy I get from that is selfish too isn't it?

anything

What's your favorite app on your mobile phone?

my phone is pretty shitty so none of the apps actually work... yay metro pcs!!

anything

what do you do to be at your most serene/ relaxed?

hmmm besides drugs, sex and masturbation... I would say dancing, reading, drawing/painting or reading/writting. certain games help too, listening to music. modeling or taking photographs of random things. People watching... sewing. I guess there's a lot I do that helps me keep my zen (damn long ass answer lol)

anything

Do you consider yourself fashionable?

uh no

anything

I used to think I was computer literate

Until I realized just now that the power settings on my computer were making it perform like a much older computer... lol I could've been done with this damn upload hours ago... oh well it's done now

So uh hopefully you enjoy. It's for an audition to a new gogo team. I warn you it's obnoixiously long and there's some breaks and whatever... but if you're incredibly bored and want to skip through the retarded parts I won't be offended. 2 industrial songs, 1 rap song cause I figured I should try to dance to at least one normal song... I sorta welcome your constructive critisizme (I've seen some rather harsh things on other videos so... hopefully this I shall not endure... we'll see...)

yes it's 15 mins long... uh sorry about that....

End Transmission

Model Mayhem -- Deviant Art -- Twitter -- Tumblr -- Formspring -- Youtube