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streamate, flirt4free, cam girl, model, gogo dancer and all around nerdy nerd nerdette. Adventures and random thoughts there in w/ shiney new pictures too!! (formally on kinklive until further notice)
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
On Kinklive.com 3/6/12
I'll be on at 5pm - 8pm pacific time! Come on down, tip for a paddling, go private for a wild wild sybian ride or come in and add to the most wittiest of banter the world has EVER SEEN!!!
XOXO
XOXO
Monday, March 5, 2012
Last night
While I force down this healthy veggie smoothing thing of random veggies that I purchased over the weekend... I shall tell you a story of last night's dancing ADVENTURE!
I was on the heels of a very nice weekend. Finally getting groceries, orgasms, naked ppl, shooting etc. Decided hey I don't have work Monday why not go out Sunday night. I loaded up on a monster, forgot my bus pass, found that I had lost said pass, shrugged, ran back to bus stop lol
Had a nice conversation with the guy waiting there. Got to experience the awesomeness of crazy cracked out hobo singing songs from soul food and yelling out the window about being sorry to his mom and something about not wanting to hurt anyone. At least he's a conscious drunkard. My heart felt a bit of pity for a second and thanks that he was not me for anyone could be in that position. I thought back to younger years of how I might've laughed at that sort of thing and how now it's not so funny.
Anyway enough of this filler. I danced a lot, Had a lot of sweat come off of me from all the water and energy drink I consumed. Oddly I'm not sure I really needed the energy drink cause I wasn't really tired like I normally would feel but it was delicious.
On one of my trips to the bar for water some Asian dude approaches me. He seems really intoxicated on a number of things but I still remained polite. I only understood about half of what he was saying due to it being so loud in the club and my aversion to wanting to be close to anyone under the influence of drugs I mostly smiled and nodded and then went back to dancing and enjoying the pleasures of ice eating.
Another guy talked to me later. Not drunk relatively normal person. Had a nice chat and went back in for more dancing. As soon as I got back to the dance floor random Asian dude was like "where did you go" I'm like "I've been around" and proceeded to dancing. This guy was getting too close for comfort with weird awkward pelvic thrusty drunkness so I kept inching backward. Finally he says "can I buy your panties"? I thought I misheard him so I asked again but nope I heard him correctly the first time.
Not to say that I have some sort of bias against panty selling or anything but why would I do that in a dance club? This confirmed that half way creeper uncomfy vibe was correct and I proceeded to shuffle to the other side of the dance floor in super hip cool for the youngins fashion whilst letting out a very audible NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! lol About 15 minutes passed before this guy returned trying to dance again to which I did the bitchiest face possible and was walked away.
Normally my clubbing excursions aren't filled with this sort of weirdness. Earlier this person offered to give me a ride home. I dunno I rather enjoy that club (it's one of my favorites) but that some what left a poop taste on my mouth.
I enjoyed getting to be out alone and not have to worry about other ppl. Whether they're having fun, bored, hungry etc. I do not enjoy random creepy Asian man but I think I handled myself ok, got a nice ride home and all is well again in siren land :)
Now if I can only get back pictures from months ago that I should have gotten then w/out having to be annoying my life would be complete. "I won't forget you" yet I had to remind you that I wanted pictures that you said you would send when you got home. No message saying you got home or that you're working on anything. Instead I get some talk about not feeling like I gave my best and how long their shoots usually are yada yada because I didn't show up for another trade shoot (I mean if it's trade payment is the pictures so why would one assume the model doesn't want her payment) Cause normally the model "asks" for them when you say you're going to send them? I have to stroke ego's to get something I should already get after you're half way insulting.... awesome!
I probably shouldn't even be writing this but at this point I kinda don't care and just want the pics.
alright time to finish my oddly colored smoothie... have a nice day everyone!
I was on the heels of a very nice weekend. Finally getting groceries, orgasms, naked ppl, shooting etc. Decided hey I don't have work Monday why not go out Sunday night. I loaded up on a monster, forgot my bus pass, found that I had lost said pass, shrugged, ran back to bus stop lol
Had a nice conversation with the guy waiting there. Got to experience the awesomeness of crazy cracked out hobo singing songs from soul food and yelling out the window about being sorry to his mom and something about not wanting to hurt anyone. At least he's a conscious drunkard. My heart felt a bit of pity for a second and thanks that he was not me for anyone could be in that position. I thought back to younger years of how I might've laughed at that sort of thing and how now it's not so funny.
Anyway enough of this filler. I danced a lot, Had a lot of sweat come off of me from all the water and energy drink I consumed. Oddly I'm not sure I really needed the energy drink cause I wasn't really tired like I normally would feel but it was delicious.
On one of my trips to the bar for water some Asian dude approaches me. He seems really intoxicated on a number of things but I still remained polite. I only understood about half of what he was saying due to it being so loud in the club and my aversion to wanting to be close to anyone under the influence of drugs I mostly smiled and nodded and then went back to dancing and enjoying the pleasures of ice eating.
Another guy talked to me later. Not drunk relatively normal person. Had a nice chat and went back in for more dancing. As soon as I got back to the dance floor random Asian dude was like "where did you go" I'm like "I've been around" and proceeded to dancing. This guy was getting too close for comfort with weird awkward pelvic thrusty drunkness so I kept inching backward. Finally he says "can I buy your panties"? I thought I misheard him so I asked again but nope I heard him correctly the first time.
Not to say that I have some sort of bias against panty selling or anything but why would I do that in a dance club? This confirmed that half way creeper uncomfy vibe was correct and I proceeded to shuffle to the other side of the dance floor in super hip cool for the youngins fashion whilst letting out a very audible NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! lol About 15 minutes passed before this guy returned trying to dance again to which I did the bitchiest face possible and was walked away.
Normally my clubbing excursions aren't filled with this sort of weirdness. Earlier this person offered to give me a ride home. I dunno I rather enjoy that club (it's one of my favorites) but that some what left a poop taste on my mouth.
I enjoyed getting to be out alone and not have to worry about other ppl. Whether they're having fun, bored, hungry etc. I do not enjoy random creepy Asian man but I think I handled myself ok, got a nice ride home and all is well again in siren land :)
Now if I can only get back pictures from months ago that I should have gotten then w/out having to be annoying my life would be complete. "I won't forget you" yet I had to remind you that I wanted pictures that you said you would send when you got home. No message saying you got home or that you're working on anything. Instead I get some talk about not feeling like I gave my best and how long their shoots usually are yada yada because I didn't show up for another trade shoot (I mean if it's trade payment is the pictures so why would one assume the model doesn't want her payment) Cause normally the model "asks" for them when you say you're going to send them? I have to stroke ego's to get something I should already get after you're half way insulting.... awesome!
I probably shouldn't even be writing this but at this point I kinda don't care and just want the pics.
alright time to finish my oddly colored smoothie... have a nice day everyone!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Lifestyle has to change...
I've been toying with this idea/feeling for a while now and I think I'm at a point to where I need to move forward. I wake up too many days w/ zero energy feeling half sick. I'm honestly not sure how I push myself through these days tbh.
It hasn't been as bad as it's been recently. This is the first time in life that I've solely survived on fast food. I rarely have anything home cooked or any type of fruit or vegetable that isn't on something horrible. Not to say that I dislike fruits and veggies because there's a good deal of them that I enjoy religiously... I lack food prep skills and the lack of a fridge has stopped me from buying any decent food.
Next week... I plan on purchasing a few things that I need. I'm not sure if the blender would work for this but I want to start juicing most if not all my meals for a while. It's probably just as expensive as eating every meal out (I do get the large meals too for some god awful reason). I generally spend 10 -20 bucks on food in a day which is fucking terrible so I might as well spend that on shit that won't make me feel like utter crap thank junk.
I know that I wanted to save for a car and I think I can still do that. I rarely go out to clubs and I've stopped drinking altogether so that alone should save me tons of money. (though I've bought a few skank out fits lately lol... I won't buy anymore at least until next month. I'll just cut up some old stuff I already have... I should purchase some thread today... I have needles and such but forgot this important item lmfao)
I guess I'm tired of feeling so sick randomly. Having Adema cause me great pain. I'm not even sure what causes it. I have a skin rash that comes and goes on my face that itches and I've tried every sort of cream out there and it never fully goes away. My joints hurt all the time especially my left knee. It's almost becoming unbearable and noticeable during normal walks to work. General lack of energy which means my anemia is probably back. This has been a long standing problem.
I just really want to feel good when I wake up in the morning. I want to have the desire to do the yoga routines I love w/out having to take a break in the middle b/c I feel like I may faint. Not feeling light headed during shoots. Being stronger in general and more pain free.
I need to do this for myself. . . I'm not saying I'll never eat a burger again or meet as it has it's benefits at times but I can't keep feeling so awful so often. I've already made most of my fluid intake water... I guess that's a start right?
I'd also like to apologize to anyone who planned on attending my Kinklive.com show yesterday. I will certainly be there rain or shine, Death or living for Tuesday's show I promise!! I felt so dead in the morning that I couldn't bear the bus ride/get out of bed. Even after a few more hours sleep I was still pretty dead. I had to force myself to my shoot later that night... I don't ever want to do this again. It's really becoming a problem when I can't go to work ya know :-/
It hasn't been as bad as it's been recently. This is the first time in life that I've solely survived on fast food. I rarely have anything home cooked or any type of fruit or vegetable that isn't on something horrible. Not to say that I dislike fruits and veggies because there's a good deal of them that I enjoy religiously... I lack food prep skills and the lack of a fridge has stopped me from buying any decent food.
Next week... I plan on purchasing a few things that I need. I'm not sure if the blender would work for this but I want to start juicing most if not all my meals for a while. It's probably just as expensive as eating every meal out (I do get the large meals too for some god awful reason). I generally spend 10 -20 bucks on food in a day which is fucking terrible so I might as well spend that on shit that won't make me feel like utter crap thank junk.
I know that I wanted to save for a car and I think I can still do that. I rarely go out to clubs and I've stopped drinking altogether so that alone should save me tons of money. (though I've bought a few skank out fits lately lol... I won't buy anymore at least until next month. I'll just cut up some old stuff I already have... I should purchase some thread today... I have needles and such but forgot this important item lmfao)
I guess I'm tired of feeling so sick randomly. Having Adema cause me great pain. I'm not even sure what causes it. I have a skin rash that comes and goes on my face that itches and I've tried every sort of cream out there and it never fully goes away. My joints hurt all the time especially my left knee. It's almost becoming unbearable and noticeable during normal walks to work. General lack of energy which means my anemia is probably back. This has been a long standing problem.
I just really want to feel good when I wake up in the morning. I want to have the desire to do the yoga routines I love w/out having to take a break in the middle b/c I feel like I may faint. Not feeling light headed during shoots. Being stronger in general and more pain free.
I need to do this for myself. . . I'm not saying I'll never eat a burger again or meet as it has it's benefits at times but I can't keep feeling so awful so often. I've already made most of my fluid intake water... I guess that's a start right?
I'd also like to apologize to anyone who planned on attending my Kinklive.com show yesterday. I will certainly be there rain or shine, Death or living for Tuesday's show I promise!! I felt so dead in the morning that I couldn't bear the bus ride/get out of bed. Even after a few more hours sleep I was still pretty dead. I had to force myself to my shoot later that night... I don't ever want to do this again. It's really becoming a problem when I can't go to work ya know :-/
a photo from that shoot.... expect a few more soon on Deviant Art and Tumblr :-) If you'd like info on future events from this group that you're welcome to attend as a model or photographer click here!
For future booking info (schedule, contact etc.) Feel free to checkout my Model Mayhem and the DA account listed above <3
End Transmission
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A Siren's Magic Bus Ride!
Normally when I get home I like to unwind with a nice bottle of water, a few games of blazing star and samurai showdown and maybe a bad movie or two and some star trek. Before I get started on all that though I'd like to spew out the mental frustrations of bus riding in Los Angeles.
Ok maybe it's not that frustrating... I mean for the most part buses sorta come when they should. It ups the commute time by 3 times but it's better than nothing at all.
Sometimes I don't mind overhearing random banter though it can be a bit distracting because lately I've been trying to use this time to catch up on some reading. ( BDSM book actually) I don't like ppl asking me what I'm reading especially when they've interupted my learning process by just trying to hit on me with some lack luster lines. I mean at least pretend to be interested in what I have to say if that's what you're gonna do, if you're even going to bother to ask me what I'm reading... :-/
Then there's the normal loud talking I've learned to semi drown out... though today's talking was more distracting than normal. I kept overhearing some guy get really pissy b/c "black women" weren't responding to him w/ the respect he deserves apparently. Lots of blanket terms. "Oh these hoes out here mad at me 'cause they got 3 babies by 3 different baby daddies" "oh her friend hatin by sayin she's taken cause she got real hair and" Lotsa stupidity.
As I stop myself from interupting with a.... perhaps you don't get respect from black women, not because they ALL WANT LIGHTER PPL but perhaps you don't command respect b/c you don't respect yourself. Perhaps you're projecting that you're more important in their lives. People are rude for any number of reasons, perhaps it was your approach especially when you use the words hoes to describe women, would appear that you don't have enough respect for the women you're demanding respect from right? How do you know she has that many "baby daddies" and even if she does what does that matter to you? Is she any less human than you, less deserving of respect? Her friend is hatin' because she's either telling the truth or trying to save her friend who might be the very kind type who doesn't want to be rude to anyone (I've been there myself actually) and say hey you're an ugly ignorant troll why would I want to date you, or perhaps she might have really had a b/f...
And then my thoughts drifted further into wondering how many times my own feelings have shaped my own views of a situation inaccurately. How often people do this?
I guess I could have simply asked and tried to explain another view but I was too tired and not interested in talking with them though I'm semi amused by how folks do this and why and connecting the dots. Perhaps I really should study some sort of therapy. . .
Alright ramblings done!
Ok maybe it's not that frustrating... I mean for the most part buses sorta come when they should. It ups the commute time by 3 times but it's better than nothing at all.
Sometimes I don't mind overhearing random banter though it can be a bit distracting because lately I've been trying to use this time to catch up on some reading. ( BDSM book actually) I don't like ppl asking me what I'm reading especially when they've interupted my learning process by just trying to hit on me with some lack luster lines. I mean at least pretend to be interested in what I have to say if that's what you're gonna do, if you're even going to bother to ask me what I'm reading... :-/
Then there's the normal loud talking I've learned to semi drown out... though today's talking was more distracting than normal. I kept overhearing some guy get really pissy b/c "black women" weren't responding to him w/ the respect he deserves apparently. Lots of blanket terms. "Oh these hoes out here mad at me 'cause they got 3 babies by 3 different baby daddies" "oh her friend hatin by sayin she's taken cause she got real hair and" Lotsa stupidity.
As I stop myself from interupting with a.... perhaps you don't get respect from black women, not because they ALL WANT LIGHTER PPL but perhaps you don't command respect b/c you don't respect yourself. Perhaps you're projecting that you're more important in their lives. People are rude for any number of reasons, perhaps it was your approach especially when you use the words hoes to describe women, would appear that you don't have enough respect for the women you're demanding respect from right? How do you know she has that many "baby daddies" and even if she does what does that matter to you? Is she any less human than you, less deserving of respect? Her friend is hatin' because she's either telling the truth or trying to save her friend who might be the very kind type who doesn't want to be rude to anyone (I've been there myself actually) and say hey you're an ugly ignorant troll why would I want to date you, or perhaps she might have really had a b/f...
And then my thoughts drifted further into wondering how many times my own feelings have shaped my own views of a situation inaccurately. How often people do this?
I guess I could have simply asked and tried to explain another view but I was too tired and not interested in talking with them though I'm semi amused by how folks do this and why and connecting the dots. Perhaps I really should study some sort of therapy. . .
Alright ramblings done!
Monday, February 27, 2012
My Availability UPDATE (for shooting and web cam)
Schedule (dates not listed are free)
(all times are pacific times)
***********
February
27th: kink live 6pm - 9pm
28th: kink live 11am - 2pm
29th: busy until after 2 pm
***********
March
2nd: Kink Live 10am - 1pm, (tentative) meeting time pending ,
UV reactive/ black light shoot @ 5:30 pm (u can register to attend here as a photographer or model ----
http://www.meetup.com/Alt-3rR0r-LA/events/53974352/?a=ed1_l9#idea-comments )
4th: Board Game Night @ the library 5pm
6th: Kink Live 5pm - 8pm
7th: free after 2 pm
9th: kink live 10am - 1pm
12th kink live 2pm - 5pm
13th kink live 1pm - 4pm
14th: free after 2pm
16th: kink live 10am - 1pm
21st: free after 2pm
28th: free after 2pm
************
May
7th MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT
19th: Retro Sci-fi girls shoot
20th: Japanese Street Fashion shoot for alterror
(all times are pacific times)
***********
February
27th: kink live 6pm - 9pm
28th: kink live 11am - 2pm
29th: busy until after 2 pm
***********
March
2nd: Kink Live 10am - 1pm, (tentative) meeting time pending ,
UV reactive/ black light shoot @ 5:30 pm (u can register to attend here as a photographer or model ----
http://www.meetup.com/Alt-3rR0r-LA/events/53974352/?a=ed1_l9#idea-comments )
4th: Board Game Night @ the library 5pm
6th: Kink Live 5pm - 8pm
7th: free after 2 pm
9th: kink live 10am - 1pm
12th kink live 2pm - 5pm
13th kink live 1pm - 4pm
14th: free after 2pm
16th: kink live 10am - 1pm
21st: free after 2pm
28th: free after 2pm
************
May
7th MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT
19th: Retro Sci-fi girls shoot
20th: Japanese Street Fashion shoot for alterror
On Kinklive.com 2/27/12
I'll be having a fun and educational show at 6pm - 9pm pacific time. We will learn the finer points of school girls putting condoms on phallic objects the right way. Perhaps a bit of candle wax and clothes pins? Or some good ol booby flashing! Remember it's free to chat in free chat... and you can always send a bit of a tip for a spank or 2!
I've been getting asked if it is possible to make an account w/out paying for anything. That some folks haven't been able to. If you personally know how to accomplish this I'd love you forever if you passed this information along to me :D
cya all soon :-D
I've been getting asked if it is possible to make an account w/out paying for anything. That some folks haven't been able to. If you personally know how to accomplish this I'd love you forever if you passed this information along to me :D
cya all soon :-D
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Life update
The past few weeks have been enlightening. I think I have a clearer idea of what I want in the short term and some ideas about what I want to persue once the cards are right. My own limits and about putting my well being above others. I don't mean ignoring others needs but I'd been ignoring mine so long and so many things that I was unhappy with just to spare others and ultimately no one ends up being happy.
I know that I will only continue to grow from here on. While I know that rough patches happen here and there I think it will all be ok.
I've been happier and more spirited lately. Thinking about my next plans, saving and happy with some of the helpful and useful gifts I've gotten from a few ppl over the past few months. I'm really happy to finally have what I've wanted for so many years, stability.
While I'm a little unhappy about my spending for the past week. I plan on keeping any additional spending for the next 2 weeks to a min. (Though I know I'll have to schedule some sort of hair appointment *sigh* and I do need to purchase a printer. I was going to try out for some game show for shits and giggles but wasn't able to get to a printer in time. A lot of these job things are really short notice and I almost feel like not applying for extra work b/c of the whole printer issue more than the lack of a car issue so I'm thinking I should add that to a priority list hahaha!)
I got to work with Mr. Paolino yesterday which was a very lovely experience. I'm very happy with the pictures I saw in the cam. I can't wait to get some images back from him.
I also plan on getting some sort of multi-vitamin either next paycheck or the one afterward b/c I know my eating habits are very poor and I want to balance out my health a bit more and have loads of energy for loads of fun (lol loads of fun)
Kink has been awesome to me! I know that the times I'm on there don't correspond with everyone's schedules. I'm debating whether I should try doing a few shows at home during later hours for those who always miss my shows... though chances are that would have to wait for me getting some better lighting. I think my net connection should be fast enough for it (I upped the speed yesterday... Not sure if I'll need to go higher but I think it's the medium level speed... though paying 10 more bucks wouldn't bother me if it'll mean a smoother show.) Perhaps even getting another cam though I think the one I have now is pretty clear.
Also been playing some Samurai Showdown IV and not sucking completely which is awesome. I'm loving that I'm finally getting use out of my fight stick. Even though I don't know anyone who plays, it's a game I've always wanted to master b/c of the way it plays. Timing rather than button smash. Some memory involved... a game that not many ppl even understand how to do combos in. The speed of the game isn't super fast which I enjoy. The fact that the characters actually bleed when hit with weapons are all very appealing to me. I can't understand games that have weapons and no blood what so ever.
Been reading a very awesome book that someone got for me too about BDSM and I've found that just because someone is a bottom in the bedroom doesn't mean they are submissive in life. All sorts of nifty things that I've wondered about. It's making me question where I stand. I'm also feeling proud of serving and having a better appreciation for those who wish to serve...
On my long bus rides I hope to get another few chapters finished (w/out random ppl interrupting my reading though that can't be helped sometimes lol)
I guess that's about it for now... time to get back to be a lazy siren
^---image by Photo Socal
End Transmission
I know that I will only continue to grow from here on. While I know that rough patches happen here and there I think it will all be ok.
I've been happier and more spirited lately. Thinking about my next plans, saving and happy with some of the helpful and useful gifts I've gotten from a few ppl over the past few months. I'm really happy to finally have what I've wanted for so many years, stability.
While I'm a little unhappy about my spending for the past week. I plan on keeping any additional spending for the next 2 weeks to a min. (Though I know I'll have to schedule some sort of hair appointment *sigh* and I do need to purchase a printer. I was going to try out for some game show for shits and giggles but wasn't able to get to a printer in time. A lot of these job things are really short notice and I almost feel like not applying for extra work b/c of the whole printer issue more than the lack of a car issue so I'm thinking I should add that to a priority list hahaha!)
I got to work with Mr. Paolino yesterday which was a very lovely experience. I'm very happy with the pictures I saw in the cam. I can't wait to get some images back from him.
I also plan on getting some sort of multi-vitamin either next paycheck or the one afterward b/c I know my eating habits are very poor and I want to balance out my health a bit more and have loads of energy for loads of fun (lol loads of fun)
Kink has been awesome to me! I know that the times I'm on there don't correspond with everyone's schedules. I'm debating whether I should try doing a few shows at home during later hours for those who always miss my shows... though chances are that would have to wait for me getting some better lighting. I think my net connection should be fast enough for it (I upped the speed yesterday... Not sure if I'll need to go higher but I think it's the medium level speed... though paying 10 more bucks wouldn't bother me if it'll mean a smoother show.) Perhaps even getting another cam though I think the one I have now is pretty clear.
Also been playing some Samurai Showdown IV and not sucking completely which is awesome. I'm loving that I'm finally getting use out of my fight stick. Even though I don't know anyone who plays, it's a game I've always wanted to master b/c of the way it plays. Timing rather than button smash. Some memory involved... a game that not many ppl even understand how to do combos in. The speed of the game isn't super fast which I enjoy. The fact that the characters actually bleed when hit with weapons are all very appealing to me. I can't understand games that have weapons and no blood what so ever.
Been reading a very awesome book that someone got for me too about BDSM and I've found that just because someone is a bottom in the bedroom doesn't mean they are submissive in life. All sorts of nifty things that I've wondered about. It's making me question where I stand. I'm also feeling proud of serving and having a better appreciation for those who wish to serve...
On my long bus rides I hope to get another few chapters finished (w/out random ppl interrupting my reading though that can't be helped sometimes lol)
I guess that's about it for now... time to get back to be a lazy siren
^---image by Photo Socal
End Transmission
Monday, February 20, 2012
On Kinklive.com 2/20/12
So I'll be on tomorrow from 7pm - 10 pm! Bring a friend! Pool together those kinkest of kinks... hop into chat and share the wittiest of banter or tip for booby flashing tit slappin fun! Ye won't regret ye decision!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
How often do you go to the movies?
Not often enough... I'd love to go every weekend... I might start going alone if I have to...
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Hey Brit..come to Florida. Let's go get something to eat. How's that for a shallow proposition :)
random blank face... you buying me florida tickets?
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